Prottotype, I applaud your honesty and openness on the topic of death and dying. I, too, used to perseverate about the end of the lives of myself and my loved ones so I think I know where you're coming from.
I think the basis of your fear leads back to the way that most humans tend not to like change. Fearing the notion that yourself or your loved ones may not exist at some point is perfectly natural. I know I enjoy being alive and I'd imagine that most other people do as well. Death is pretty much the ultimate in finality and a lot of people have a hard time accepting it. One can't go through life fearing the possibilities that it may bring (different than fearing impending consequences for past actions) as it really impedes one's ability to enjoy life as they live it. As my father used to say, if you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future chances are pretty good that you'll piss all over today.
Que sera sera, my good man. Words that speak well about the importance of living in the moment.
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Don't fear me. Trust me.
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