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Old 04-18-2008, 02:06 AM   #21
jammies
Basement Chicken Choker
 
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Join Date: Jan 2007
Location: In a land without pants, or war, or want. But mostly we care about the pants.
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I always wonder how relationships like that start:

Putin: Hey, you mind if I buy you a drink?

Kabaeva: Sure, I guess.

Putin: I'm Vladimir, by the way.
(points to the dozen bulky security guys in dark suits)
You mind if these guys sit with us?

Kabaeva: Uhhhh... ok...

Putin: I have to ask - did you recognize me when I came into the bar? I thought maybe you looked over and smiled, and it could have been you recognized me from on TV. Not that that's a problem or anything, just wondering!

Kabaeva: No, sorry. Are you famous or something?

Putin: Seriously - you don't recognize me? (hums a few bars of the Russian national anthem). Think... politics.

Kabaeva: Nope. I've got nothing here.

Putin: (thinks for a minute, then has an idea) Boom! Boom! Die Chechnyns! Die die die! NOW do you know who I am?

Kabaeva: Still no idea. Does it matter? Buy me another drink and you can be Stalin if that makes you happy.

Putin: (goes all glum-faced, then brightens up). Do you know I have a Mercedes limousine with cocaine filling all the ashtrays?

Kabaeva: (grabs her purse and jacket) Let's go!
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