I also have my mind on the '08 STI!
I would stay away from the BMW ... people I have known that have owned them get fleeced from the dealers on repairs.
How about a compromise? My wife and I (and 2 yr old daughter) bought a 2007 Subaru Legacy GT Ltd Wagon. It is great for a family purpose, and still feels like a performance car. It isnt the rally car that an STI is, but it still has 245 hp. The only downside is that they quit selling them in the US for 2008 (still sell them in Canada), so you'd have to buy a used 2007. I highly recommend the Legacy GT Wagon; we love it.
Edit: Upon further reading, it seems you hate station wagons.... I guess the Legacy GT Wagon might not suite you. How about the Legacy GT Sedan? Personally, for family purposes, I love the wagon - and it feels like a high performing car as well.
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