Set up a phony fight club with your friends and tell her that its been around for years.
Hire Locke to take a snap kick to the chin and have him fall down in tears.
Then point at your new ex girlfriend and quietly whisper with some menance
"The only rule to this fight club, is that nobody talks about the fight club"
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My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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