Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch
They missed one
The ninth circle of hell
This circle is two blocks off of the River Styx and looks like a peacefull and ideal setting with big lawns, nice houses and white picket fences. Its guarded by the demon known as wife who is beautiful when she greets you, but her appearance changes as you settle in. She becomes wide and resides on her throne known as the couch. She doesn't consume your flesh she consumes the rewards known as eternal labor. Her earlier form converts to a large gelatinous mass known as the Springer form. Her assaults on you are not physical but her biting wit and repeated statements threaten to tear your sanity from your head. You are constantly tempted by other demons known as college girls who's ultimate weapon is ironically called the catholic school girl outfit. But beware for to succumb to this demons temptation is to open the next torment known as the divorce where half of your being is ripped ruthlessly away.
If you avoid this temptation two or more demons known as children will be sent to add to your torment. They take different forms as they go from poop machine, to terrible two's, to surly teenager, to money grubbing life draining college student to car wrecking needing a loan as they torment you from their throne known as the never leaving home.
The fourth demon in this torment is known as the parent who constantly assault you with their disappointment in your life.
The punishment for this is 50 years after which you are sent to the much gentler 8th level of hell for a vacation.
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Har! Going through a divorce Crunch? Beauty...you have raised your wit level to almost RobinWilliamsesque!