Quote:
Originally Posted by Flameschick
Well, chacun a so gout, I guess, but 50% of marriages end in divorce with by far the most frequent reason given being cheating. You then have to wonder why marriage and long-term relationships are held in such esteem when they come with a built-in flaw: the expectation of monogamy which is unrealistic. It's like expecting priests to be celibate.
Another issue is a lot of people only view themselves as being socially worthy if they're in a relationship. Seems like they view it as more a personal accomplishment, something they can brag about to their friends, or a marker of self-worth than of a union of two souls or whatever esoteric ideal society views it as being. It's not much different than guys in an internet forum bragging about how many girls they've scored. You're "coolness" or social worth if you've scored a lot goes up in the eyes of your peers. Yay...
Anyway, to me it's a choice between being single and free to shop around versus being constrained by someone else's unrealistic expectations. My 20-something girlfriends and I at least definitely subscribe to being in the former state more than the latter, and I'm sure most girls and guys, and judging by the skyrocketing divorce rates, even the married ones, do as well.
|
Perhaps the skyrocketing divorce rates have more to do with people getting into bad relationships than being in them at all? Also the idea that you CAN just trade your spouse in for a newer model if things get tough certainly contributes. Relationships are seen as a throw away commodity. Is that the fault of the institution or of the people within the relationship?
What I've found is that of my friends/family who have/will end up divorced is that they thought they could change the other person instead of loving them for who they are. They love the idea of being in love more than they love their spouse. But I think that if you find the right one, then you'll love them more than being in love, and you'll do what it takes to make it work. If that makes sense.
Sure, by all means, shop around. I did and am still. However, when I find the one, I will settle down.
Here's the question though... if you don't believe in monogamous relationships, what the hell are you shopping for anyway?