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Inferno · 01-10-2008, 12:28 PM

Some of you might remember the "Friend Zone" thread about a month ago. In there I talked about the situation I was in with a friend who I've had feelings for since grade 10 but never told her until this past summer. Well the whole situation came to an end last week and I guess alot of people here can tell me that they told me so.

She's decided she wants to give her nutjob ex-roomate a chance. Basically when she moved out she realized she missed him more than she thought she would. It took a rumor started by his ex and her friend about how they were together but she was cheating on him with her friend for her to finally give in to him after he constantly nagged her about it. She decided to end all of her guy friendships over this rumor except me because our friendship is one that she wants to keep.

Basically with me she said she did feel a spark after we kissed but that died and admits she she should have made more of an effort to see if it could get brighter. She said after 10 years she thought she owed it to me to atleast see if it was there. She said she told me to let her get her head back on straight to see if her feelings for me came back but they never really did though that's hard when you only see the person once a month. She told me really the nail in the coffin for me was she saw my dependance of her and said that it didnt seem like I was happy with myself and that I needed her to make me happy and that you cant love someone if you dont love yourself.

I talked to her sister about it and she pretty much told me I'm too good for her. She doesnt know what she wants in life and it's affecting her little girl. She said she realizes people make mistakes but you should learn from them. She told me the guy is a nice guy but he tries to hard which really to me is being fake and anyone can be nice when it benefits them. She said I deserve to be with somone who I can love, respect, and trust and get that back. She said that she cant be trusted because she wont even tell her things and when she does she wants to hit her. Apparently she brought this guy to her sister's place for Christmas and he gave her these expensive gifts yet she insisted they werent involved. I made sure I let her know the stuff about him that she doesnt know. She said they arent very close so I dont have to worry about her saying anything to her about us talking.

So after thinking about it for a few days I decided to tell her atleast for now we should stop hanging out. I told her that the last few days had been extremely tough for me because I feel cheated in all of this and that for the first time in 10.5 years I broke down and cried over this whole thing with her and that we couldnt be the friends we were as long as she's with a guy who I dont respect at all for what he's done to her. I also said that seeing her would open the wounds this has caused everytime and make this worse.

I told her if it didnt last then she could contact me or if I finally got over her I would call her and we could try and repair it because we do care alot for eachother. Maybe at that time I wouldnt have the same feelings for her or maybe I would be with someone else who I realized is better and we could just be friends. Or maybe she would give us one more chance to see if that spark could be lit again and to see if it would get brighter and if not then I maybe would be able to accept that and move on and just be her friend, or I maybe I wont ever completely get over this and we can never be friends again. At this point I dont really know.

So after telling her that she told me she understood and that if she could take everything back and start over so that I wouldnt feel cheated she would. She told me I should be proud because not very many people make her cry and that she loved me and logged off before I could even respond.

So my question is should I try and look for someone right away since we never were together or should I take some time for this to sink in and wait for the cheated feeling I have to go away? Most guys would probably just shrug it off and move on but this is 10.5 years worth of feelings I'm trying to let go of.

01-10-2008, 12:28 PM	#1
Inferno Franchise Player Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: The Pas, MB Exp:	The Rebound Effect Some of you might remember the "Friend Zone" thread about a month ago. In there I talked about the situation I was in with a friend who I've had feelings for since grade 10 but never told her until this past summer. Well the whole situation came to an end last week and I guess alot of people here can tell me that they told me so. She's decided she wants to give her nutjob ex-roomate a chance. Basically when she moved out she realized she missed him more than she thought she would. It took a rumor started by his ex and her friend about how they were together but she was cheating on him with her friend for her to finally give in to him after he constantly nagged her about it. She decided to end all of her guy friendships over this rumor except me because our friendship is one that she wants to keep. Basically with me she said she did feel a spark after we kissed but that died and admits she she should have made more of an effort to see if it could get brighter. She said after 10 years she thought she owed it to me to atleast see if it was there. She said she told me to let her get her head back on straight to see if her feelings for me came back but they never really did though that's hard when you only see the person once a month. She told me really the nail in the coffin for me was she saw my dependance of her and said that it didnt seem like I was happy with myself and that I needed her to make me happy and that you cant love someone if you dont love yourself. I talked to her sister about it and she pretty much told me I'm too good for her. She doesnt know what she wants in life and it's affecting her little girl. She said she realizes people make mistakes but you should learn from them. She told me the guy is a nice guy but he tries to hard which really to me is being fake and anyone can be nice when it benefits them. She said I deserve to be with somone who I can love, respect, and trust and get that back. She said that she cant be trusted because she wont even tell her things and when she does she wants to hit her. Apparently she brought this guy to her sister's place for Christmas and he gave her these expensive gifts yet she insisted they werent involved. I made sure I let her know the stuff about him that she doesnt know. She said they arent very close so I dont have to worry about her saying anything to her about us talking. So after thinking about it for a few days I decided to tell her atleast for now we should stop hanging out. I told her that the last few days had been extremely tough for me because I feel cheated in all of this and that for the first time in 10.5 years I broke down and cried over this whole thing with her and that we couldnt be the friends we were as long as she's with a guy who I dont respect at all for what he's done to her. I also said that seeing her would open the wounds this has caused everytime and make this worse. I told her if it didnt last then she could contact me or if I finally got over her I would call her and we could try and repair it because we do care alot for eachother. Maybe at that time I wouldnt have the same feelings for her or maybe I would be with someone else who I realized is better and we could just be friends. Or maybe she would give us one more chance to see if that spark could be lit again and to see if it would get brighter and if not then I maybe would be able to accept that and move on and just be her friend, or I maybe I wont ever completely get over this and we can never be friends again. At this point I dont really know. So after telling her that she told me she understood and that if she could take everything back and start over so that I wouldnt feel cheated she would. She told me I should be proud because not very many people make her cry and that she loved me and logged off before I could even respond. So my question is should I try and look for someone right away since we never were together or should I take some time for this to sink in and wait for the cheated feeling I have to go away? Most guys would probably just shrug it off and move on but this is 10.5 years worth of feelings I'm trying to let go of.