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Old 01-10-2008, 09:43 AM   #72
troutman
Unfrozen Caveman Lawyer
 
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Blender's amusing 50 worst songs ever:

http://www.blender.com/guide/articles.aspx?id=786

Including, the song that shares the name with the author of this thread:

37
GERARDO
“Rico Suave” 1991
He was Vanilla Ice for the Telemundo set

Long before Ricky Martin lived la vida loca, another fleet-footed, sexually ambiguous Latino star crossed over to pop-chart glory by turning an otherwise forgettable dance-pop tune into a ubiquitous and dreaded catchphrase. In the verses, this Don Juan in a bandanna boasted about his insatiable libido over a cheesy Casiotone beat, but it’s the chorus that really sticks in our cabeza: Reeeeeeeco. Suuaaaaaave. No es bueno.

Worst Moment Nothing brings a dance floor to a screeching halt like the line “I’m used to good ol’-fashioned homestyle Spanish cooking/If I try that, I’ll be puking.”


My vote for worst song:

12
THE BEACH BOYS
“Kokomo” 1988
They might as well have just pissed in Brian’s sandbox

The Boys’ Cocktail soundtrack single was their first number 1 since “Good Vibrations” 18 years earlier. But chart position is all the songs have in common. “Good Vibrations” is a glorious slice of Brian Wilson–penned pop perfection; “Kokomo” is a gloopy mess of faux-Carribean musical stylings cowritten by Mike Love. It’s all anodyne harmonizing and forced rhymes (“To Martinique, that Montserrat mystique!”) that would have driven Brian totally nuts had he not been totally nuts already.

Worst Moment The most diabolical rhyme is saved for, um, first: “Aruba, Jamaica, ooh, I wanna take ya!”

Last edited by troutman; 01-10-2008 at 09:45 AM.
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