[Drunk Skunk]

Originally Posted by flylock shox

Use sexually suggestive humour. When you make jokes, make jokes of a sexual nature, and try to be outrageous. Don't direct your jokes at her in particular, but build on any cues she gives you in response. Since you can't use physical lines of communication over the interweb, you have to allude to them. Engage her mind, but maintain references which are physical in nature to ensure mutual sexual awareness.

Once you've got a good series of messages going back and forth, and you've established mutual interest, then send her a picture of your wang. Remember though, that women appreciate subtlety, and you should therefore try to portray your wang in as artful a manner as possible. For example, between two lumps of ice cream (the "banana split"), or painted blue and wearing glasses (the "Dr. Gonzo").

After that, you should be golden.

Wrap a bow around it and say "Belated Christmas present". That's classy.