Calgarypuck Forums - The Unofficial Calgary Flames Fan Community - View Single Post - How do I get out of the "Friend Zone?" Help!!!

jammies · 12-19-2007, 10:43 PM

Well I'm a bit late and all the good jokes are gone, so I guess I'll give serious advice:

There's nothing like straight-up honesty. That being said, there are different ways to express honesty, and just like with sex, women prefer their honesty to come after some foreplay (verbal, in this case). So try to lead the conversation into an area where you're talking about relationships, and personal feelings, and get her into the right emotional mood before asking, "Do you ever think about us getting together one day? I mean, we get along so well and you are so unbelievably sexy, I don't think it's any real surprise to you that I've thought about it - but have you?"

The key, though, is making sure you don't come across as someone who is going to be devastated if the answer comes back as no. Most women aren't down with emotionally needy dudes (they've got girlfriends for that), and you being that way is a sure trip out of the Friend Zone into the "used to be my friend but now gives off the loser vibe" zone. If she says no, just act cool, no matter how much it really hurts, and tell her that if she ever changes her mind, to let you know. Then ask her another question leading back to whatever relationship issue you were discussing before your question, and smooth over the awkwardness. If she says yes, you're in!

Even if she does says no, you've at least set yourself up for the long game. You've expressed an interest, and being a woman, she'll never forget that and you may be surprised down the road. Maybe she has another guy she's currently infatuated with, and once that wears off, she'll refixate on you. Maybe she was just caught offguard by your interest and didn't know how to react. Or maybe she's just a whacked out psycho like 99% of women, and she will change her mind for no discernable reason at all.

You never know, so it's better to keep the friendship going if you can, 'cause at worst, you can still hang out with her, and if she is hot as you say, that's an invaluable aid in picking up other women who see you with her - dem dames is crazy that way!

12-19-2007, 10:43 PM	#116
jammies Basement Chicken Choker Join Date: Jan 2007 Location: In a land without pants, or war, or want. But mostly we care about the pants. Exp:	Well I'm a bit late and all the good jokes are gone, so I guess I'll give serious advice: There's nothing like straight-up honesty. That being said, there are different ways to express honesty, and just like with sex, women prefer their honesty to come after some foreplay (verbal, in this case). So try to lead the conversation into an area where you're talking about relationships, and personal feelings, and get her into the right emotional mood before asking, "Do you ever think about us getting together one day? I mean, we get along so well and you are so unbelievably sexy, I don't think it's any real surprise to you that I've thought about it - but have you?" The key, though, is making sure you don't come across as someone who is going to be devastated if the answer comes back as no. Most women aren't down with emotionally needy dudes (they've got girlfriends for that), and you being that way is a sure trip out of the Friend Zone into the "used to be my friend but now gives off the loser vibe" zone. If she says no, just act cool, no matter how much it really hurts, and tell her that if she ever changes her mind, to let you know. Then ask her another question leading back to whatever relationship issue you were discussing before your question, and smooth over the awkwardness. If she says yes, you're in! Even if she does says no, you've at least set yourself up for the long game. You've expressed an interest, and being a woman, she'll never forget that and you may be surprised down the road. Maybe she has another guy she's currently infatuated with, and once that wears off, she'll refixate on you. Maybe she was just caught offguard by your interest and didn't know how to react. Or maybe she's just a whacked out psycho like 99% of women, and she will change her mind for no discernable reason at all. You never know, so it's better to keep the friendship going if you can, 'cause at worst, you can still hang out with her, and if she is hot as you say, that's an invaluable aid in picking up other women who see you with her - dem dames is crazy that way! __________________ Better educated sadness than oblivious joy.