Murder her current boyfriend and bury him in a tub of Lye. Confort her, accompany her to the funeral. On the way back to the limosine pull the old stumble on a rock grab the goods move. If she suddenly jumps into your arms, then mission accomplished. If not race back to the limo, and have him drive you directly to the nearest hooters or strip club so that you can get shot down by a woman that you have no emotional attachment to.
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My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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