[Hack&Lube]

Arm me with a cup, shave my head, and I'll take down...50?

If you're not smart, by simple math, an average 5 year old is what? 50 lbs? I think I can only bench ~125 lbs at max so if a bunch of them pile up, there's not much I can do. But I have had some martial arts and can kick pretty well...but unless I can kick them all in the heads before they get in range they would just knock my legs out from under me and pile on... kids are pretty good at diving.

The best tactic is the rope-a-dope by Muhummad Ali. Just start running in a circle and let them chase and punch you until they wear out. Then you pick them off one by one with swift kicks to the head or strong body blows that break ribs. Conversely, grab one kid, swing him around, and toss him into the others to break up a crowd. If they manage to pin you, choke them one by one or do some palm strikes to break their noses. 5 year olds hate nosebleeds. In the worst situation, grab one and twist his arm to dislocation as a hostage to get the others to back off so you can catch your breath. You know how much you hated it when you were 5 and your "friend" twisted your arm behind your back.