Quote:
Originally Posted by Hack&Lube
The problem I find is that a lot of parents blindly throw their students into mechanical lessons without STIMULATING them at home with music. Young children need to be stimulated with a large amount of music to really inspire them with a passion for music or even an appreciation for it. As the typical Chinese kid, I started Piano lessons when I was 5 years old. I quit when I was 9 out of sheer exhaustion and a total lack of interest in music because all it was to me was stupid notes on a page and hitting keys mechanically under abusive and uninspiring old piano teachers.
A large part of this was that my parents were pretty conservative and had absolutely no music at home, I wasn't exposed to anything musically that really inspired me or gave me that sense of what music really was all about. I never developed an appreciation for music until I hit University (I didn't even listen to popular music or the radio at home before) and now dreadfully regret it because now it's bascially my favorite thing in life...I find myself listening to absolutely everything and really hearing the individual instruments and the people playing them. If I do play piano or guitar today, it's all largely just improvisation or whatever I discover or self teach myself. Lately I've found myself reading about music theory and music history with a real hunger trying to get a grasp of how to actually make music...mostly visual modes and scales on the piano keyboard and guitar fretboard and yet I can't even read actual sheet music anymore.
If I could go back to when I was 10, I would change everything and be a musician today instead of who knows what.
So in the vein of all the other people in this thread, if I ever have a poor kid, he'll be made to learn 2 extra languages (one asian language + one romance language should cover the important parts of the world) and then the piano and the guitar. I'll also be playing all sorts of music around in the house. Music also helps kids with math because it stimulates similar parts of the brain...and when they grow up, it'll help them with the opposite sex (haha).
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I do not think children should be forced into any extra curricular activity period. In most cases, you destroy any potential love for what you are hoping to get them have an interest in.
You need to get to know your children first, to see what their passions are in life, what turns them on. And yes, it is very hard to tell at a young age what the passion of your child will be. But, if they express an interest in something, then expose them to it. You don't have to delve into that interest to the nth degree, just give them some exposure. If they continue to like that activity, then by all means continue with it. If they don't, well try something else. Of course, you do not want to have a child that is changing their mind every 5 seconds either. You also have to speak about committment with the child, both mental committment and time committment. Sometimes, upon very first exposure, the child might not initially like it and will want to drop it instead. If you signed them up for 6 weeks, 3 months, whatever, then have the child stick with it. That way they will not only learn what it means to be committed to something, they will actually find out if they like that activity. And they will also find out that sometimes in life, you do things you do not enjoy and those things do not end up killing you either.
If music is that passion, so be it, give them as much or as little music as they like. And if they choose an instrument you were hoping they stayed away from, remember, it is THEIR passion, not yours. So if little Johnny takes up the drums, don't you go putting them way out in the garage in hopes that they will be too far away and he will forget about the drums and go back to the piano instead. As someone who comes from a very musical family and someone who has very musical children, be prepared for them to try many instruments too which is great if music is their thing. And no matter what instrument you learn, I personally believe that some fundamentals on a piano are great, if nothing else than to learn how to read music. And learning the classics only helps to understand the new genres of music. One compliments the other.
If sports are their passion, same thing, expose them to the sport or sports of their choice. Of course, sometimes you have to speak about managing one's time too and if you have the type of child that wants to do every sport, then beware that their school work might suffer if they are over committed. There is nothing wrong about giving your child choices too, perhaps not all the choices they wish, but choices that will enable them to not only be involved in sports but also keep up with their school work.
And no matter what your child's choices, instruction goes a long way in determining your child's success in that activity. And if you do go the instruction route, try and find someone who helps to instill a love for that activity in your child, so they learn to love it and enjoy the practise that comes along with the instruction. Maybe you have a child who only wants to go out and skate a bit and shoot the puck a bit, perhaps they do not actually want organized hockey. Then don't put them in organized hockey. Try to be in tune with what your child is actually trying to tell you. When I look back on things, I think one of the real reasons my son chose hockey at an early age is because he wanted a pair of hockey gloves. Would that have been enough for him over time, I do not know, but those gloves were pretty neat for him when he started hockey.
Anyhow, I guess to try and sum things up, what I am trying to say is go with what your children love and have a talent for. And do not try to live vicariously through your children. You might be unhappy that you only speak one language, and so would like your child to learn three languages to compensate for your short comings. You might end up frustrating not only your child but yourself in the process too. And remember that no matter what activity you put your child in, it is up to the child if they are successful or not. You can find the activity, you can find the instructor, you can buy the accessories, and you can give your child the best atmosphere for them to have success, but unless your child commits, well, be prepared for a few or a lot of sighs.
And remember that children are first of all children. Let them relax and find their way in life before you over commit them and frustrate them.