Tobias: “A flower in my garden, a mystery in my panties.”
Wayne Jarvis: Again, this is not an audition for a CBS show.
Tobias: I was just looking for some feedback.
Wayne Jarvis: It was a little contrived.
***
Michael: Are you serious?
Wayne Jarvis: Almost always. I was once called the worst audience participant Cirque du Soleil ever had.
Michael: This is a big accusation.
Wayne Jarvis: Well, Michael, I did not find their buffoonery amusing.
***
Wayne Jarvis: I shall duck behind that garbage can.
Michael: The guy's a pro.
***
Michael: Not everything is strippers and booze and buckets of blood. Why do you guys have buckets of blood?
Gob: It's not real blood. It's, um, corn syrup and red dye. Juice.
Buster: We have unlimited juice? (laughs) This party is going to be off the hook.
***
George Michael: Uncle Gob, was Aunt Lindsay ever pregnant?
Gob: Yeah, sure, dozens of times.
***
Lindsay: Did you enjoy your meal, Mom? You drank it fast enough.
Lucille: Not as much as you enjoyed yours. You want your belt to buckle, not your chair.
***
Lucille: You might want to let that fire go out before you stick your face in it.
Lindsay: Ah, that's funny. Because I was going to say, you might want to lean away from that fire since you're soaked in alcohol.
***
Tobias: I should call the Hot Cops and tell them to dress up as something more nautically themed. Hot sailors maybe. Or better yet, hot sea-
Michael: I like hot sailors.
Tobias: Mmmm, me too.
***
I LOVED this show. I could go on and on...
__________________
-Elle-
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