Not a dumb question at all, but is a hard question to answer over a message board, and not in person.
As many have said, typically people size down from their shoe size... What I find however is that many people have too big of shoes. I know for me atleast I've sized down on my shoe size over the last few years. I had it ingrained in my head that you're supposed to have a thumb level for your toes, however that is more for growing room (which I dont really need anymore
) Now I believe my shoe size is the same as my skates(havent thought about it till this post).
From your description of too much toe room, and heal lift, it sounds like your skates are too big. How are you tieing them though?
You should literally go in and try on every pair of skates and every different size you can fit your foot into. While skates do take time to break in, they should still be comfortable in the store.
Or did you buy used?