[CaptainCrunch]

(in light of the rough sketch, I thought that a reading by the reverund Crucn was warranted)

A reading from the book of roadbumps

And our lord in his journey had hit a fork in the road. For he had for the longest time devored the sweet nector of victory and vengence. He had enjoyed the love of the people, and had thus the people came to him. For a time, the crops were abundant, the slovenly were swept aside, and the breasts were abundant.

But the lord great Kipper could not go through eternity without being tempted and tested. And one day the Saviour came to him in the shape of farmer whom he had known. This farmer who had a plentiful family placed in front of the Kipper a mighty purse filled with gold, and the Saviour said "Take of this gold and and rejoice, for the people have spoken and desire for you to stay in the meadow of fire for a whilst longer."

And the Kipper muled over this gift as to decide how best to serve his congregation and decided that yes he would like to say for while his choices were plentiful, he didn't want to play in a oil besotted hell hole, or in the belly of a sick and festering whale.

And so he stayed, and the people as one rejoiced for the Kipper giveth, and the people receiveth.

But the farmer paid our lord with gold cursed, and the mighty Kipper struggled, and while the curse didn't affect his visage, it madeth him ugly in other ways. And he knew that his sin was not oneth of pride, for a goaltending god is never proud, but his sin was one of confidence, for one by one his followers began to turn, and the Kipper was thrown into the pit of despair. But the lord Kipper was a plotter and gods are the cleverist of plotters, and he began to shape his plan to wineth the people and his confidence back, and he stoodeth in front of the fork road where souls can be damned to the eternal pit of Carey, or giveth the mantel and the keys to the hall. He only hath to choose correctly, and he turned to the man standing behind him who had been cursed to the reduction of all his hairs to the side and a rage that rang throughout the valleys of hell, and he sayeth to this man "Why has my skills and talents betrayed me, and why am I consigned to be measured against this pile of cursed gold". And the man looked at him, while the fires of hell poured fourth from his steely glaze and he spoketh with a voice that was both level but could destroy the weaker angels and said "This my son, is the fault of no one but you, but take my hand and believe in what you were, and you will once again climb the mountain to the highest peak, and all those that have abandoned you and treated you as the cause of the worldly woes will crawl back, begging the forgiveness of the almighthy."