You are not out to lunch, the minor hockey system is brutal. Fathers of children playing on the team should not be coaching that team, if they want to coach then it should be a team that their kid doesn't play on.
Kids play hockey because it's fun, too often that aspect is forgotten and the parents and coaches want to win no matter what. You, as a father, pay the same fees as the coach does for his kid and the other parents for their kids, they should be getting the same amount of ice as the next kid regardless of skill level. That changes when it gets more competitive, maybe when they are 13 or 14, but it's awful when winning becomes more important than having fun.
I wish i had a solution for you, maybe write a letter to minor hockey or the community and let them know how you feel, and more importantly, how your son feels.
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