[CaptainCrunch]

A reading from the book of victory

And thus our great and noble savior accepted our sacrifice and our tears and $35 million pieces of gold, he put down his roots and looked about and said that this land was good.

Then with one hand he plucked a mighty oak from the ground and fashioned a mighty sword, and with the other he plucked a cow and rammed his hand up into it making a mighty mit and he nodded to his followers and said none but one shall pass. Then he looked at one small child who looked sad and he said what botherest you? And the child despaired as he had been seduced by the tepid Oil, having been sold into its service by a father bothered by mead and woman with bruises on her legs.

And Kipper took pity on the child and said, here onto you is a flames jersey to soak up your despair, and the child was contented.

but Kipper had a longeth journey, and he traveled to a village and he saw villagers who had been crippled by fear and doubt. And Kipper dined with them and found out that above all they feared on this night the return of the Predator, a foul beast who devoured souls and hitteth the villagers from behind. And Kipper said to them, do not fear what you fear the most, I will slay the foul Predator, and with his mighty sword and his cow glove, Kipper pulled a mountain to him and fashioned a mask which he wreathed in fire and skulls.

And when the Predator returned to the village that night, it faced not a village of scared people, but their god and protector. But there is no greater plotter then our savior, and though the beast attacked, and roared and flung 39 stones against the almighty, the village held and the Predator slung off into the woods in search of an easier prey, like a whale, or a puddle of Oil.

And as the village celebrated and feasted and createth babies, the Kipper meditated, because he knew that the war drums were beating in the form of a winged wheel, and he steeled himself.