To Whom It May Concern:
We should be careful, Xenu had control of 79 planets, and he might be living on this exact planet. Sure, the Loyal Officers of the Marcab Confederation finally discovered how evil he was and overthrew him and is now locked away in a mountain on one of the planets and kept in by a force-field powered by an eternal battery. But that doesn't mean he couldn't escape, and I want to continue eating placentas freely.
Yours,
Tom
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