I grew up a very shy individual. I only really have one friend that I'm in contact with and still hang around with from elementary school. Junior High was painful. I try and block most of it out, hahaha. High school I started to come out of my shell a bit, made some great friends, but I didn't go to the feeder high school that everyone from elementary and junior high went to. This actually helped, as the 'baggage' of being a loner/loser was gone.
Once I hit university I really became comfortable with who I was, and in turn was able to make many very strong relationships, and am considered 'someone that knows everyone'.
Essentially here are a few tips to help you get comfortable with meeting new people.
- Hang out with the friends you do have, if they're going out on a Friday night, go out with them. Once I started doing this, things became much easier for me.
- I'm going to sound like an alcoholic here, but I actually do think alcohol can serve good purposes. When you're out with your friends, when you're in line at the bar just start talking to the guy next to you about how long the line is. "You think they'd have more bartenders with a crowd like this" then "next time I'm gonna wear a shirt like that (glance at a girl wearing a low cut shirt), clearly I'm not showing off enough cleavage to get served quickly". The trick here is, once you do get your drink, say to the person next to you "cheers" then move on. Go back to your friends. You're only talking to them to help get over your fear of talking to strangers. If you do happen to strike up a great conversation, it's a bonus. But don't feel that you have to, use it as a way to pass the time.
- When friends are talking to people you don't know when you're around, but in with your two cents on the subject matter. Again this will help you get more comfortable with talking to strangers, but in a zone where you're surrounded by friends.
- I'm not sure what your employment situation is, but a part-time job in retail does wonders. You have to talk to people, ask probing questions about what they're looking for, and carry on a casual conversation. It might take some work but it will help you out tremendously. It will also help you get a read on people.
- Posting on a board like this is actually a great thing. You're in the comfort zone of being behind your computer by yourself, but interacting with others. Keep posting, even if it's only on the off-topic section. When there's a Calgary Puck Summit, or social gathering, show up. Say "hey I'm _____" and get to chatting about the Flames, movies, politics or whatever. It never hurts to read the paper that day to see what's in the headlines or check out a news site.
I know for me there are aspects where I'm still very shy, but I've worked hard to get into a zone where I'm comfortable most of the time. I'm comfortable with who I am as a person, which means it doesn't bother me to go to the movies alone, I'll eat at a restaurant I want to by myself, who cares? But that only came after I got over my shyness.
I like the suggestions of volunteer, join a club, sports, or something. But if you're looking for baby steps, use CP, maybe join the facebook group (shameless plug) to put names to faces, and go to a game or two find out where people are sitting meet them for a beer, ask them what they think of how Kipper's playing as of late, or who should be centering the Iginla line.
Remember, relax and have fun. Worst case scenario steal social commentary from stand up comedians, hell I do it all the time
