Regardless of the situation with J, you are on a dead end road with your current girl friend. The fact you are even entertaining thoughts of a different person (J) shows your current live-in girl friend is not the right life partner for you. Take it from someone who has been there and done that. In my case it lead to living with a girl for few years, eventually getting married and eventually getting divorced. In hindsight, I knew all along she wasn't the one, but was too lazy to do anything about it because even though things weren't perfect, they could always be worse. But relationships with people who aren't compatible as a life partner are kind of like wisdom teeth. At first the signs of trouble are minor, but eventually you've got a pain that nearly blinds you and the source of it has to torn out. After divorcing my first wife, I met my second wife, and from the moment I met her I knew she was the person I wanted to spend my life with, and she felt the same. After meeting my second wife I have never once looked at another woman and wondered "What if?" Sure, I've looked at other women and thought "Wow, what a knockout." But not once have I projected myself actually being with someone other than my wife, at least so far, and so far has been 20 years. At this point I certainly don't expect anything to change. When it's the right person you know it. And when it's the wrong person you know it too, even if it's on a subconscious level, and that's why you're looking at other women, like J.
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