[CaptainCrunch]

The reason I got out of retail by Captain Crunch

After college and a short and dispised stint as a software developer I decided to go retail for a while, I mean a guy like me tons of computer knowledge, honestly the money would be rolling in right?

Yes the money was rolling in, I went to the FutureShop on Macleod Trail back when it was just off of Southland, and as a 22 year old I was making huge bucks. Then the whole roller coaster ride started

1) Hey man, your doing really well here, but the North East Store needs some help so we're going to move you there.

Fine so I go

2) Hey we're opening a new store in Lethbridge we need you to run the Computer department there.

mmm'ok

3) Hey the new medicine hat store has a bad computer department, we need you to shake it up, can you be there tommorrow, we'll take care of the move

sure why not errrr Medicine Hat is nice

4) Congratulations, we're making you an assistant store manager, but we need your help with our Winnipeg St James store, its really struggling with extended warranty sales numbers, and your the top ranked guy in Western Canada so we need you to move there.

Hey I grew up in Winnipeg, this could be cool (It wasn't)

5) Guess what, we're opening up a megastore in Regina, and we really need some leadership there to get it off on the right foot. Do you want to go there?

And if I say no?

It would be a negative on your career

Right then off I go.

6) Hey your natural next promotion is to become a personal manager, you would travel to all of our cities in Western Canada and interview people, then work on thier training.

Sounds like a lengthy and profitable career, but this all happened in 3 years.

Retail nightmare number 1

I'm working in the Medicine Hat Store on Christmas Eve, I'm running the store with a skeleton crew of 3 people so that the manager and everybody else could spend time with thier family. 6:00 rolls around and we're exhausted, I go to close the gate and I'm pulling it shut when this guy pulls a move worthy of Van Damme and squeezes through the 6 inch gap in the door.

I sigh and look at my exhausted staff and inform them in a Darth Vader type voice that I will handly this myself. He's probably some poor guy looking for a last minute gift in a panic. So I approach him and welcome him in a friendly manner, but he ignores me with a scowl on his face. I finally ask him if I can help him find something since its apparent that we're closed (gate, lights getting turned off. He turns and looks at me and yells

I'M JUST LOOKING!!!

I calmly inform him that we're closed and we want to go spend christmas eve with our families, so if he has a purchasing need, I can certainly help him, but if not we'd like to close up shop

So he moves on to another area and ignores me. So I do the Darth Vader point at another sales rep to approach him. Another rep goes up to him and quietly talks to him. The guy goes off He yells that he's just looking and he's tired of salespeople trying to push him into buying stuff and he wants to talk to the manager. So I stride over to him and wish him a merry christmas grab him by the arm and march him to the door. He turns and pushes a finger into my chest and informs me that we've lost his business. So I tell him that just looking isn't a business.

We never saw him again.

*****The salesperson slip******

I'm managing the store in Regina when I walk by one of our video reps selling an elderly lady a camcorder. She's humming and hawing and then she states that she needs a case for the camcorder

Thats a clear buying sign right?

A $2000.00 camcorder with full warranty and accesories back in those days would make a rep 2 or 3 hundred dollars in commission.

Not this guy, he sabotaged his own sale.

He smiles at the woman who is about 85 and says "Don't worry about it honey it comes with a f$$king case"

We never saw her again.

*****Then there was the case of the man that came in to buy a washer and dryer******

His heart wasn't in it, but he talked wistfully about a computer for himself, so we went over to the computer section and I set him up with a computer, monitor, printer, games, everything. It was about a $3500.00 package. I then asked him about the washer and dryer, and he informed me that he was the man of his house, and his wife would have to get along with the current washer and dryer.

Oh yeah I thought in my mind, this one's coming back.

Every Saturday in the old days the FutureShop would hold a 2 hour general meeting before the store opened. So we were sitting there at $8:00 in the morning meeting when a truck pulls up out in the minus 20 weather. The door slams and a screaming 400 pound woman marches around to the passenger side and throws her husband to the sidewalk followed by the computer, printer, and the monitors. Then she drove off.

Two hours later the poor guy is let into the store, and asks to return the equipment, but of course all of the software boxes have been opened, and the computer has been set up and used. So of course initially I refused to take anything back.

Then his lip started to tremble and he burst into tears and stated, that his wife was going to kill him. So finally I agreed to take it back with a 45% restocking fee because it was now used, (and I didn't want to lose my commission due to this guy being stupid)

So out of a 3500 dollar deal we made about 1700 in pofit.

******In Regina we had the transvestite with the hair chest and the leather mini come into the store, and we had the first annual draw straws to deal with this guy. And nobody had to go to the bathroom to regain thier composure after that one