kermitology
01-10-2005, 06:03 PM
BROADSTREET BROADCAST
January 10, 2005
Heywood Jablome -
In a stunning turn of events, this evening after the Flyers posted a 2-2 tie with the Centre of the Universe Maple Leafs, Flyers GM Dan Lemmon announced that he is leaving the franchise. His statement to the press is accounted below.
"You know, there are a lot of people who would love the chance to run a classy organization like the Flyers, and the Flyers deserve to have someone at the helm who is capable of bringing the success that this team deserves, and the fans, (points to Jiggy_12) err, uh, fan, deserves the same. Ladies and gentlemen, when someone loses their passion for the game, they are in no position to be in charge, so I am formally announcing my resignation as GM of the Philadelphia Flyers. To my successor I leave the following words of advice. In the top left hand drawer of the desk in the GM's office you'll find a package. Inside the package are clues to the secret to a teams success, or rather, the secret to get yourself out of a pinch of trouble. When you finally discover the secret hiding spot of this treasure.. oh screw it, it's behind the painting of Cosmic Stan an my cape. There are two letters in an envelope, they are marked 1 and 2. The first time you get into trouble, open up letter number 1. The second time you get in trouble open up letter number two."
At this point one of the yonuger members of the media inturruped with a question. "What's in the letters?"
Lemmon, continued "Oh geeze.. you folks are so impatient.. fine.. The first letter simply says, 'Blame everything on me'. The second letter says, 'Sit down and write two letters'."
Apparently, Lemmon has just seen the movie Traffic..
He finally concluded the conference with "I'd like to thank all of my friends and enemies, cough*DavePenney*cough, for the great comradre, and I wish them all the best of luck in the future, perhaps I'll try to join the CPHLFA and make your lives more interesting. Thanks to the league for allowing me to hire people like Cosmic Stan as my coach, and for putting up with my drunken tirades in the earlier stages of the season, in closing, I'd like to say 'So long and thanks for all the shoes' goodevening.. damn cape, what the hell, where are my smoke bombs, JERRY! Get me a smoke bomb!"
He then waited for 10 minutes while waiting for a smoke bomb, threw it down and disappeared into the wind.. of the conference room.. shutup..
January 10, 2005
Heywood Jablome -
In a stunning turn of events, this evening after the Flyers posted a 2-2 tie with the Centre of the Universe Maple Leafs, Flyers GM Dan Lemmon announced that he is leaving the franchise. His statement to the press is accounted below.
"You know, there are a lot of people who would love the chance to run a classy organization like the Flyers, and the Flyers deserve to have someone at the helm who is capable of bringing the success that this team deserves, and the fans, (points to Jiggy_12) err, uh, fan, deserves the same. Ladies and gentlemen, when someone loses their passion for the game, they are in no position to be in charge, so I am formally announcing my resignation as GM of the Philadelphia Flyers. To my successor I leave the following words of advice. In the top left hand drawer of the desk in the GM's office you'll find a package. Inside the package are clues to the secret to a teams success, or rather, the secret to get yourself out of a pinch of trouble. When you finally discover the secret hiding spot of this treasure.. oh screw it, it's behind the painting of Cosmic Stan an my cape. There are two letters in an envelope, they are marked 1 and 2. The first time you get into trouble, open up letter number 1. The second time you get in trouble open up letter number two."
At this point one of the yonuger members of the media inturruped with a question. "What's in the letters?"
Lemmon, continued "Oh geeze.. you folks are so impatient.. fine.. The first letter simply says, 'Blame everything on me'. The second letter says, 'Sit down and write two letters'."
Apparently, Lemmon has just seen the movie Traffic..
He finally concluded the conference with "I'd like to thank all of my friends and enemies, cough*DavePenney*cough, for the great comradre, and I wish them all the best of luck in the future, perhaps I'll try to join the CPHLFA and make your lives more interesting. Thanks to the league for allowing me to hire people like Cosmic Stan as my coach, and for putting up with my drunken tirades in the earlier stages of the season, in closing, I'd like to say 'So long and thanks for all the shoes' goodevening.. damn cape, what the hell, where are my smoke bombs, JERRY! Get me a smoke bomb!"
He then waited for 10 minutes while waiting for a smoke bomb, threw it down and disappeared into the wind.. of the conference room.. shutup..