How late is too late?

[Eastern Girl]

This week, my friend asked me to have dinner with him, so we named a time and place. I showed up a few minutes early, he showed up about an hour late, with no phone call/email/text to give me an explanation prior to his showing up.

Today, I am waiting for my brother to show up. He asked me to babysit my nephews today, I said yes. He said he would drop them off at 11am. It's 12:30pm now. His cell is turned off, so I can't get ahold of him.

I am type that will usually make sure I get somewhere 5-10 minutes early. I don't like being kept waiting, so I make sure I don't keep others waiting.

My question to everyone here is how long do people wait before you declare they aren't showing up, and you decide to stop waiting? Half hour? One hour, two, more?

[habernac]

I hate people who don't show up when they say they will. If you say 12, I expect you to be at least within a few minutes of that. and if not, call with a reason. Especially when you're doing a favour for them.

Teach them a lesson. Just leave next time and tell them "I was there, waitied for half an hour and left, where the hell were you?"

[ricoFlame]

depends on the situation. waiting for your friend the other night is total BS, 1/2 hour tops. when it comes to family, I typically wait longer because they are family. when it's family you can always use my wife's favourite thing and guilt them for weeks afterword. good stuff.

[OilersBaby]

Im the same was as you. I am usually 5-10 minutes early if I have to meet someone because I always think "what if there's traffic" or "what if the line is long to get in" or something like that. I usually give people 15 minutes if I am supposed to meet them somewhere outside my house before I start getting annoyed. If they are late to come to my house, I am a little more lenient because I can always do something to kill time. I guess I would say I would give them half an hour in that case....

At that point I call or text....and if they are more than 30 mins late and I haven't heard from them in anyway, then I leave if Im supposed to meet them somewhere outside my house. If they are supposed to be coming over and they are more than half an hour, well I guess it depends on the circumstances (what I have to do or what it's about, or how late they are). But I would definitely talk to them about it.

People have to realize that the world doesn't revolve around them...

Although, I'm East Indian and there's this thing called IST (Indian Standard Time) so with some of my friends, I know that if I tell them to meet me at 7 pm for dinner, they wont show until 730 so neither do I:)

[Prototype]

Eastern Girl + A thread about lateness... I was thinking something completely different.

[Table 5]

There are very few things that i find more disrespectful than showing up late without any sort of notice. Time is very precious these days, and if there is an agreed upon time to do something where it affects one of the parties directly, it's simply unexcusable to be late. People don't realize they are wasting your day.

Being late once in a while is fine, but I find it is always the same people that do it over and over. It always depends on what it is (ie, nobody really cares if someones shows up a little late to say a party), but my limit is 15 minutes. After that I leave or do my own thing, and I make sure to not even notify the other person. If you don't have the courtesy to notify me, right back at ya.

[Table 5]

Teach them a lesson. Just leave next time and tell them "I was there, waitied for half an hour and left, where the hell were you?"

Don't even tell them, just let them wait around and wonder. After a while they will get the message.

[Claeren]

I am always late for things, but always 1min-10min late, not hours.

If I am going to be more than 3min late I send a text (or call) and if I am more than 5min late I am super super apologetic.

I would never expect someone to wait more than 10min for me and I would never wait more than 20min for someone else if I had not heard from them.

That is the key though to me. If someone cant bother to let you know they will be (or are) late you do NOT have to wait. IF they can't be bothered to carry an operating cell phone they are also obliged to not be late for things and make people wait.


Family gets some leeway but I would not feel guilty if I had to go out interim to them arriving and it inconvenienced them. I wouldn't go out of my way to do so though either.



Waiting an HOUR+(!) for someone without any notice would be enough to end a friendship IMO. A one time thing with a valid excuse and/or a massive and meaningful apology would be an exception of course.... the first time.




As an aside to that, there are two types of people in the world -- those who tend to be early (if only a minute) and those who tend to be late (if only a minute). I find there are a host of other characteristics that go along with either type of person and I don't think you can get toooo hung up on someone always being a bit late because I am sure that (1) there are other parts of their personalty that you likely need in your very ordered life and/or (2) I am sure there are drawbacks to your personality that are caused by the same characteristics that allow you to be early/on time for things.




Claeren.

[Jayems]

Eastern Girl + A thread about lateness... I was thinking something completely different.

:D I was thinking the exact same thing... :bag:

[Eastern Girl]

depends on the situation. waiting for your friend the other night is total BS, 1/2 hour tops. when it comes to family, I typically wait longer because they are family. when it's family you can always use my wife's favourite thing and guilt them for weeks afterword. good stuff.

I didn't technically wait an hour for my friend. I was seated at a restaurant, I waited about half an hour before just ordering dinner for myself. Any other situation, I would have left, but I was starving. He showed up pretty much right when my food did.

And he was just late. There wasn't a good reason. It was not a fun dinner to sit through.

I am get annoyed at 15mins, half an hour and I am like the wind.

Eastern Girl + A thread about lateness... I was thinking something completely different.

Ugh, if that were the situation, I would be chasing vodka with cyanide, not starting threads!!

[Jayems]

Yep, i hate tardy people. Everyone has those friends that no matter what, under perfect circumstances, they still can not seem to show up on time. Finally, you're forced to invite them an hour or so early, but they still show up later than when you do.

[PowerPlayoffs06]

I'm always early, but I have tolerance levels for lateness. 5-10 minutes late I wont even mention. 10-15 minutes I'll razz the person about it. 15-25 minutes I'll be annoyed. 25+ minutes and I'm gone unless they've texted or phoned for their one free counter restart.

[FanIn80]

Eastern Girl + A thread about lateness... I was thinking something completely different.

Haha, ditto.

[sadora]

I'm usually the one showing up late, for whatever reason. I do always call however, to make sure the other party finds something to do in the meantime. Sometimes there's just other priorities.

[Kidder]

It's never too late for Caltrate.

[Sidney Crosby's Hat]

I am always late for things, but always 1min-10min late, not hours.

If I am going to be more than 3min late I send a text (or call) and if I am more than 5min late I am super super apologetic.

I would never expect someone to wait more than 10min for me and I would never wait more than 20min for someone else if I had not heard from them.

As an aside to that, there are two types of people in the world -- those who tend to be early (if only a minute) and those who tend to be late (if only a minute). I find there are a host of other characteristics that go along with either type of person and I don't think you can get toooo hung up on someone always being a bit late because I am sure that (1) there are other parts of their personalty that you likely need in your very ordered life and/or (2) I am sure there are drawbacks to your personality that are caused by the same characteristics that allow you to be early/on time for things.

Claeren.

I'm the exact same way. Not too sure what it is and why I usually can't be on time.

I'm rarely ever later than 10 minutes. It's odd, when I leave 10 minutes earlier than usual, traffic is slower or something else happens to ensure I get there at 10:02 a.m. when I'm supposed to be there at 10.

[Coach]

I'm like Claeran. I'm usually the guy whos about 5-10 min late for things. Either that or I'm early, but hardly ever right on time. I'd say 1/2 hour - 45 min is the longest i would wait around for someone before i got ticked and left. It depends on the person, but not calling is just rude. My older brother frequently says he's going to be somewhere and ends up never showing. He has lost a lot of his friends this way and his best friend actually hangs out with me more than he does with him.

I alos hate it when someone does this and say "Well I just didn't have time". Well that's fine, if you can't make it, cool. But let me know so Im not stuck here like a jackass all night

I think the reason people like Claeren, SCH and myself show up at these times is because we consider anytime within 5 min of the alotted time to be that time. For example, if I look at the clock and its 10:05 and someone asks me the time I say its 10

[Got Miikka?]

While I personally strive for timeliness and punctuality and most definitely do respect and appreciate - indeed, almost demand - the same quality in others, there are a few exceptions. For example, one of my buddies who I've known for years is so routinely late, it is an expectation that when a time is set for meeting or renedvouzing or whatever, there is no chance in hell that he will be there at that time - he's always about 30 minutes late. So, collectively, those of us who are friends with him and have noted this phenomenon have coined what we call "[his name] Time." Basically, this standard denotes that for any appointment involving this guy, an extra half hour must be added to the originally-set meeting time to accomodate for his perennial tardiness. It helps a lot: if, for example, I am making plans to have the guy meet me at my place, I always subtract a half hour from the actual meeting time so that in the end, he will actually be on time.

If I want him to be there for 5pm, I tell him 4:30. He'll be there around 5. Works out pretty frickin' close every time.

/anecdote

[JiriHrdina]

I hate being late but find myself being late more now than before - part of it is I seem to always under-estimate traffic in this town. That being said, I'm never more than 15 minutes late and even if I'm going to be more than 5 minutes late I fire off a quick phone call or text.

Over 30 minutes and it's quite rude.

[Slava]

I hate being late, and will make every attempt to be exactly on time (showing up early can be just as bad as being late IMO). I call if I will be late, if I can, for sure. Its rude not to.

I have had people show up late to meet me and I call them if they are not there. I have one client who was horrendous for showing up 1/2 late for appointments. We were to meet in a public place and I purposefully did not phone him. I left, he showed up very late...problem solved. He NEVER pulls this with me anymore, and I no longer have to babysit him.

There are times when things are unavoidable though....so I try my best to be on time, and understand when someone else is not!

[Tron_fdc]

I'm on time for everything but work. I can't show up at 8:00AM no matter what....and I don't know why. When it comes to friends though, I'm usually pretty punctual.

If I wait for more than 15 minutes for somebody and they don't call, I'm out. No way in hell would I wait an hour alone, it's a complete waste of time. If someone calls however, I'll wait as long as it takes (or meet them somewhere else so I'm not sitting around with my thumb up my arse).

[HelloHockeyFans]

Tardiness is probably one of my biggest pet peeves... 15 minutes is my absolute limit without some sort of text message or phone call... for your friend to show up an hour late for dinner and not even provide an explanation??! Ridiculous.

I think it just shows a lack of respect for the person waiting for you when you don't let them know that you're running late... sure, it happens, but let them know... and if you have experience with traffic or whatever holding you up in the past... leave earlier. Pretty simple.

[J pold]

I can't stand it when people are late, my mother has always been perpetually late. Ever since I was young I couldn't stand it so I make a point of never being late. The rare time when I am late I always call and am deeply apologetic.

My Girlfriend has a problem with constantly being late. I used to begrudgingly put up with it until this one night she asked my to stop by her friends house on our way to dinner. What was supposed to be a quick drop pick up of an item turned into me waiting in the car for 40 minutes. I tried calling her, knocking on the door, when she finally returned she half heartily apologized. I didn't say a word drove her right back too her house told her to get out of the car and that I would call her in a couple of days. She hasn't been late for anything since.

[Tron_fdc]

I can't stand it when people are late, my mother has always been perpetually late. Ever since I was young I couldn't stand it so I make a point of never being late. The rare time when I am late I always call and am deeply apologetic.

My Girlfriend has a problem with constantly being late. I used to begrudgingly put up with it until this one night she asked my to stop by her friends house on our way to dinner. What was supposed to be a quick drop pick up of an item turned into me waiting in the car for 40 minutes. I tried calling her, knocking on the door, when she finally returned she half heartily apologized. I didn't say a word drove her right back too her house told her to get out of the car and that I would call her in a couple of days. She hasn't been late for anything since.

I bet she was inside smoking.

[Dion]

I can't stand it when people are late, my mother has always been perpetually late. Ever since I was young I couldn't stand it so I make a point of never being late. The rare time when I am late I always call and am deeply apologetic.

My Girlfriend has a problem with constantly being late. I used to begrudgingly put up with it until this one night she asked my to stop by her friends house on our way to dinner. What was supposed to be a quick drop pick up of an item turned into me waiting in the car for 40 minutes. I tried calling her, knocking on the door, when she finally returned she half heartily apologized. I didn't say a word drove her right back too her house told her to get out of the car and that I would call her in a couple of days. She hasn't been late for anything since.

I would have done the same thing. Good job!

[Table 5]

My Girlfriend has a problem with constantly being late. I used to begrudgingly put up with it until this one night she asked my to stop by her friends house on our way to dinner. What was supposed to be a quick drop pick up of an item turned into me waiting in the car for 40 minutes. I tried calling her, knocking on the door, when she finally returned she half heartily apologized. I didn't say a word drove her right back too her house told her to get out of the car and that I would call her in a couple of days. She hasn't been late for anything since.

You sir, are my hero.

[Claeren]

Its funny you mention girlfriends. I was once always on time for things but 13 years worth of long term relationships and I learned that not only was it pointless being right on time, but if you showed up too early you created 'emotional pressure' for the ol'girlfriend that was not worth the effort when she vented later on!

So slowly I got used to showing up 5 minutes after when I said I would so that when they were finally ready to go 5min or 10min after that (so now 15min late) we could go without them feeling guilty - because apparently my 5min meant I was just as late as them(!?).

Giving that extra 5min saved me a lot of fights over the years.


I am single now but I am used to having that extra 5min-15min to sit around and wait. Such a hard habit to break though!

I am pretty good now in general, but being outright early is still generally outside of my reach.

(And no worries, current/future girlfriends do not have life nearly as easy, no more emotional-babysitting in my life....)

[BuzzardsWife]

When I was younger and much more patient, I would wait. Now I don't wait very long. Last night a friend was late picking me up for a movie..I was about to leave and go by myself. If I have to wait more than 45 mins for a dr. I leave. I tell the receptionist that its rude to overbook and I have to go. If I was waiting in a restaraunt i think it would be about 20 mins max before I would leave, if they hadn't phoned me or text me. Now making my husband wait, that's a whole other issue, and it's my god given right as a wife to always make him wait.

[Ayrahb]

[...]one night she asked my to stop by her friends house on our way to dinner. What was supposed to be a quick drop pick up of an item turned into me waiting in the car for 40 minutes. I tried calling her, knocking on the door, when she finally returned she half heartily apologized.

I sure hope this was a female friend.

[Jiggy_12]

I would have lost it on the guy who was an hour late, absolutely lost it.

I hate that stuff.

[ken0042]

How late is too late depends on many different things:

- Going to the pub with 20 friends and one show up late; no biggie.

- I ask a friend to come over to help me with something around the house and he's 30 minutes late; once again no biggie.

But to be late so that the person waiting on you can do a favour for you? You waited a lot longer than I would have EG.

[Antithesis]

I can't stand tardiness when it's for no real reason - a traffic disaster, whatever, but 'just because'? It's immensely rude.

To a point, as a parent I now understand that arrival times have to be a bit flexible, but the amount of time you were waiting in both cases would lead me to speak up and demand better - on both counts.

[Eastern Girl]

My brother finally showed up at around 2pm. I kept saying that I would give him another half hour and then I would take off, but each time I waited a little longer. waited because I don't get to see my nephews often. If it had just been my brother, I would have said 'screw it' and gone out.

And I understand he's got two young boys and sometimes that throws you off schedule, but he could have called and said he was running 3 hrs behind.

[Dion]

My brother finally showed up at around 2pm. I kept saying that I would give him another half hour and then I would take off, but each time I waited a little longer. waited because I don't get to see my nephews often. If it had just been my brother, I would have said 'screw it' and gone out.

And I understand he's got two young boys and sometimes that throws you off schedule, but he could have called and said he was running 3 hrs behind.

You're enabling your brothers actions by accepting the nephews that late. Be firm and let him know that in the future you won't be around when he fails to call and shows up 3 hours late. Your brother was very rude and self centered.

[Eastern Girl]

^^ Yeah, I know what he did was rude and believe me, I didn't hold my tongue when he arrived, but like I said, I don't see my nephews often living quite a distance from them. I wasn't going to turn them away.

Is that what you think I should have done?

[bigtmac19]

^
I would have done the same

[Dion]

^^ Yeah, I know what he did was rude and believe me, I didn't hold my tongue when he arrived, but like I said, I don't see my nephews often living quite a distance from them. I wasn't going to turn them away.

Is that what you think I should have done?

That's what i would have done. I understand the nephews part as i went through something similar when my niece and nephew were younger. My sister never did it again after i spoke my mind.

[Muta]

I booked a huge lunch yesterday for 30 of my co-workers. I made everyone confirm with me that they were coming.

So, 22 people show up. 8 people didn't that confirmed. None of them told me. A couple of them told others, but I didn't receive any email or phone call. You'd think it'd be relatively easy to contact me, since we're all in the same office.

To top it off, I ended up having to pay an additional $50 of my own money to cover the rest of the tab.

That's the last time I book lunch for people, and try to do something fun with my co-workers at lunch. Perhaps next time someone else can do the bookings and organize something; I'm done with that.

[Kidder]

Wow Muta, that's like three pet peeve threads rolled up in one.

Are you sure that on the way home you weren't stuck behind a slow driver in the left lane (yacking on his cell phone using words like irregardless), only to speed around him and get a speeding ticket which you're considering fighting in court?

[Muta]

Wow Muta, that's like three pet peeve threads rolled up in one.

Are you sure that on the way home you weren't stuck behind a slow driver in the left lane (yacking on his cell phone using words like irregardless), only to speed around him and get a speeding ticket which you're considering fighting in court?

That was me, but I didn't have to fight the ticket, since the judge didn't show up.

[Dion]

I booked a huge lunch yesterday for 30 of my co-workers. I made everyone confirm with me that they were coming.

So, 22 people show up. 8 people didn't that confirmed. None of them told me. A couple of them told others, but I didn't receive any email or phone call. You'd think it'd be relatively easy to contact me, since we're all in the same office.

To top it off, I ended up having to pay an additional $50 of my own money to cover the rest of the tab.

That's the last time I book lunch for people, and try to do something fun with my co-workers at lunch. Perhaps next time someone else can do the bookings and organize something; I'm done with that.

I would send an email to the 8 that didn't show up telling them that thier rudeness cost you $50 out of your own pocket to cover the tab. Don't ask for money, just wait to see who comes to you and apologies. The one that don't take a mental note and file it for future reference.

[Muta]

I would send an email to the 8 that didn't show up telling them that thier rudeness cost you $50 out of your own pocket to cover the tab. Don't ask for money, just wait to see who comes to you and apologies. The one that don't take a mental note and file it for future reference.

Not a bad idea. The problem is, though, that the extra amount was from the people at the lunch, who all happened to leave the restaurant after paying their 'amounts'. There was no cost for the people that didn't show up.

One problem with booking big lunches like these, is that a good handful of people tend to round down their amounts, assuming that the rest would just be made up by others. When everyone does it, then that's when it starts to add up. And looky look, I'm the one that has to pay it.

One of my better friends in the office sent out an email saying that I covered the rest of the bill, and that everyone who was at lunch should just give me a buck or two each to make up for it. By the end of the day, I received $5 in total. From one guy.

I will still be speaking on Monday to the people that booked and didn't show up. I absolutely despise this type of behavior.

Here's another thing that's annoying...

I chair my staff meetings every month in my office. I come up with the agendas, information, presentations and whatever else. I do this in addition to my projects, as I have just as many projects to work on as everyone else in the office. We are supposed to rotate every three months. I have now been doing it since June.

I've brought it up at two staff meetings in a row; there has not been ONE volunteer to assume the responsibilities, even though it is supposed to be a rotated volunteer thing. I bring it up in the meetings in front of 100 people, and not ONE person volunteers. Everyone just listens to what I say and then quickly shuffle out of the room.

I guess what annoys me is the fact that people think someone else is going to do it, and so they never volunteer. No worries though, it's not like I'm busy with my projects or anything. I've only been doing it for six months straight.

[Dion]

Here's another thing that's annoying...

I chair my staff meetings every month in my office. I come up with the agendas, information, presentations and whatever else. I do this in addition to my projects, as I have just as many projects to work on as everyone else in the office. We are supposed to rotate every three months. I have now been doing it since June.

I've brought it up at two staff meetings in a row; there has not been ONE volunteer to assume the responsibilities, even though it is supposed to be a rotated volunteer thing. I bring it up in the meetings in front of 100 people, and not ONE person volunteers. Everyone just listens to what I say and then quickly shuffle out of the room.

I guess what annoys me is the fact that people think someone else is going to do it, and so they never volunteer. No worries though, it's not like I'm busy with my projects or anything. I've only been doing it for six months straight.

You keep doing it and the rest of the members keep thinking that if they don't volunteer you'll do it again. You enable these people with your behaviour. At the next staff meeting simply mention that you are not chairing the meetings anymore and that someone has to step up. Then then leave the meeting and show up late on purpose for the next. They'll get the message in a hurry :D

[Muta]

You keep doing it and the rest of the members keep thinking that if they don't volunteer you'll do it again. You enable these people with your behaviour. At the next staff meeting simply mention that you are not chairing the meetings anymore and that someone has to step up. Then then leave the meeting and show up late on purpose for the next. They'll get the message in a hurry :D

Duly noted. That's actually good advice Dion, thank you... only problem that it's likely I'll get in trouble for it. Another related thing that annoys me here is that the office has a lot of energetic, young people like me; you'd think that someone would just step up. Guess that's asking for too much.

[Eastern Girl]

Maybe you should just randomly pick someone. If everyone is going to have to do it eventually at one point or another, then just pick someone and be done with it. I would choose whoever attempts to leave the meeting first.

[Muta]

Maybe you should just randomly pick someone. If everyone is going to have to do it eventually at one point or another, then just pick someone and be done with it. I would choose whoever attempts to leave the meeting first.

That's another awesome idea! I've been toying with the idea of just randomly selecting someone in the room; the only problem is that, isn't that a little bit harsh? I don't want to have people look at me negatively because of it.

I was also thinking about writing down everyone's name and putting it in a hat, then drawing it at the meeting... it would put that person on the spot, however, and I don't want to embarass them...

[Nancy]

Not a bad idea. The problem is, though, that the extra amount was from the people at the lunch, who all happened to leave the restaurant after paying their 'amounts'. There was no cost for the people that didn't show up.

One problem with booking big lunches like these, is that a good handful of people tend to round down their amounts, assuming that the rest would just be made up by others. When everyone does it, then that's when it starts to add up. And looky look, I'm the one that has to pay it.

One of my better friends in the office sent out an email saying that I covered the rest of the bill, and that everyone who was at lunch should just give me a buck or two each to make up for it. By the end of the day, I received $5 in total. From one guy.


Next time, record who paid what, then go back and audit the bill and publicly humiliate whomever it was that shorted you.

We had this problem in our office and someone ended up writing a spreadsheet to calculate who owed what. AND we switched to preordering. In addition to generally being bad at math and cheaping out on the tip and forgetting taxes (esp. if you are in a province with PST as well) people will often assume that drink refills are free or that when a waiter asks "would you like XYZ with that" they assume that it's free (which is funny because it never is.) My best buddy was one of the worst culprits at this.

[Eastern Girl]

That's another awesome idea! I've been toying with the idea of just randomly selecting someone in the room; the only problem is that, isn't that a little bit harsh? I don't want to have people look at me negatively because of it.

I was also thinking about writing down everyone's name and putting it in a hat, then drawing it at the meeting... it would put that person on the spot, however, and I don't want to embarass them...

It's also harsh or unfair that no one would step up and take responsibility from you, when you have done more than what you were required to do.

But, sure, your suggestion works as well. I don't think your way would be embarrassing. It would be completely up to chance.

Ask for a volunteer, say that if you don't get one, someone will be chosen either on the spot or randomly via the hat. Pick someone before the meeting is out and that's that.

[Dion]

That's another awesome idea! I've been toying with the idea of just randomly selecting someone in the room; the only problem is that, isn't that a little bit harsh? I don't want to have people look at me negatively because of it.

I was also thinking about writing down everyone's name and putting it in a hat, then drawing it at the meeting... it would put that person on the spot, however, and I don't want to embarass them...

You simply say...."Look people. No one is volunteering to run these meetings accept me. This is supposed to be a shared responsibility. Since people are not coming forward you're forcing me to pick someone. Now do we have any volunteers before i pick?"

[chid]

That's another awesome idea! I've been toying with the idea of just randomly selecting someone in the room; the only problem is that, isn't that a little bit harsh? I don't want to have people look at me negatively because of it.

I was also thinking about writing down everyone's name and putting it in a hat, then drawing it at the meeting... it would put that person on the spot, however, and I don't want to embarass them...

I would definitely just put everyone's name in a hat next meeting and draw a name, and continue doing that. It is not harsh at all, if you are putting in more work and they aren't. Maybe make a memo about your new method so everyone is aware you'll be doing it.

I've learned with a kindergarten class, that giving them a yes or no question NEVER works. (ie asking if they want to help me) Instead I present options, with your co-workers maybe give them the option to either do a sign up sheet for volunteering OR you do names from a hat. So take a vote next meeting

[troutman]

Long White Beard - "The polite way to let people know you've been waiting." wear obviously fake long white beards in situations where others have kept you waiting. (SNL)

[Crispy's Critter]

That's another awesome idea! I've been toying with the idea of just randomly selecting someone in the room; the only problem is that, isn't that a little bit harsh? I don't want to have people look at me negatively because of it.

I was also thinking about writing down everyone's name and putting it in a hat, then drawing it at the meeting... it would put that person on the spot, however, and I don't want to embarass them...

I would only put the 8 people's names who didn't show up for your dinner in the hat ;)

[GreenTeaFrapp]

Maybe you should just randomly pick someone. If everyone is going to have to do it eventually at one point or another, then just pick someone and be done with it. I would choose whoever attempts to leave the meeting first.

I'd suggest something else instead. At the next meeting, I'd hold a draw with a mystery prize. I'd let people put their names in on their own and then after the "winner" has been announced, I'd reveal that the "mystery prize" is added responsibilities.

[Muta]

I'd suggest something else instead. At the next meeting, I'd hold a draw with a mystery prize. I'd let people put their names in on their own and then after the "winner" has been announced, I'd reveal that the "mystery prize" is added responsibilities.

Hahaha, that's not bad either... :)

I'll have to revive this thread next month and let everyone know what happened...