For Immediate release

[MJK]

For Immediate release
Saturday August 21, 2004

In a shocking turn of events, the Florida Panthers announced today that NFL coach Don Shula will in fact not be coaching the Panthers this year. Instead, super rocker Maynard James Keenan of the rock band TOOL will take over in his place.

This comes just one day after Dave Penney was announced as the new Florida GM. Neither Penney or maynard were available for comment.

[Sylvanfan]

The people in South Florida will be extremely upset. Shula is an icon in the Miami area. Hopefully Maynard posts a better record. Perhaps he'll be able to get the Panthers do to "A Perfect Circle" turnaround in the standings.

[MJK]

That is the kind of turnaround the Panthers need at this point.