So there I was, sitting around a table with co-workers at the end of the day. We are finishing up, I stand up, and a farts pops out, caught me and everyone else by suprise. I said sorry inbetween mine and others laugher, but man, that was odd.
Wanted to share.
__________________ I honestly see a 600+ goal scorer in him. And 1300+ points.
-Hfboards.com member and Oiler fan s7ark speaking about Rob Schremp.
Last edited by MrMastodonFarm; 05-09-2007 at 04:22 PM.
__________________
Some people are like Slinky's... not really good for anything but they still bring a smile to your face when you push them down a flight of stairs.
No recovering from that. If you are that crazy hard drinkin scottish guy in the office you can get away with it, the quiet, polite, deep thinker is now the farty loser guy who gets embarassed by a simple fart. Hopefully you had crapped recently and it didn't stink to the heavens.
An old friend of a friend told me a story once where SHE was on the LRT and it stopped suddenly and she fell onto a guys lap, and farted when she landed, right into his lap. The fact she was confident in telling that story to not close friends made her hotter after that.
It did sound a little wet, there didn't it? Right at the end! Oooh! Heh heh heh. Let's have a smell, all right? Oh, everyone likes their own brand, don't they? Oh, this is magic! Hmmm, wafting, wafting. Ok, analysis. Ooh, smells like carrots in throw-up! Oh that could gag a maggot! I smell like hot sick... ass in a dead carcass! Even stink would say that stinks! You know when you go into an apartment building and you smell the other people's cooking on each floor and you go "What are they cookin'?" That, plus crap!
__________________ I wish the heck I could like fish, I just hate the taste of it . . . I wish I could eat one, they look so good . . . - Gil Fisher (The Fishin' Musician):
How about the hot chicks who fart on the dance floor in the clubs? Sneaky chicks....
Ever try to let one go in your seats at the Saddledome?
I let a little one go at a game this year, and the kids behind me blamed it on there friend and called him skinky for the next two hours. That's a pocket-Dawg for ya.
I sure hope CaptainSensible isn't reading this thread, I denied it.
__________________ I honestly see a 600+ goal scorer in him. And 1300+ points.
-Hfboards.com member and Oiler fan s7ark speaking about Rob Schremp.
Ever try to let one go in your seats at the Saddledome?
I let a little one go at a game this year, and the kids behind me blamed it on there friend and called him skinky for the next two hours. That's a pocket-Dawg for ya.
I sure hope CaptainSensible isn't reading this thread, I denied it.
How about when you just really have to in the elevator, so you risk it, but someone ends up coming in. Pretty awkward. If nobody comes on though, you get this awesome rush when you escape undetected.
I am not ashamed of being one of the people who will leave a "gift" for people in the grocery aisle. Gas cleanup in aisle 5. Gas cleanup in aisle 5. My first daughter was about 2 when she began to carry on the family tradition. Ah, the innocence of youth. Of course, she missed the part about quietly walking away and, instead, announced loudly and happilly "I fart. I FAAAAAAAART". I was so proud.
the worst is the first Monday at work after a heavy weekend of beer drinking. i almost feel like i should put hazard tape around my workspace since it can be one step away from chemical warfare
Last summer in Rome, I was walking to the market one brilliant sunday morning. A friend and I cut through the very narrow streets of Trastevere, away from traffic and noise.
It was such a fine morning, with no noise or people, even my friend and I weren't breaking the silence.
An older fellow (40ish, italian) was walking toward us, and as he passed, I let out one of the loudest and longest farts I've ever heard.
My buddy (also italian) tried to stare me down in disgust but even he couldn't stop from laughing.
I didn't have the balls to look back at the guy, though I'm sure he stopped to glare at the "stupid americano".
I don't get why people say, "Toilet humour" with derision.
It's funny!
Movies with toilet humour are funny.
Making fun of the noises you hear in the toilet - funny.
Trying your hardest to keep it in but the bugger slips out in loud stuccato toot - funny!
__________________
"The problem with any ideology is that it gives the answer before you look at the evidence."
—Bill Clinton
"The greatest obstacle to discovery is not ignorance--it is the illusion of knowledge."
—Daniel J. Boorstin, historian, former Librarian of Congress
"But the Senator, while insisting he was not intoxicated, could not explain his nudity"
—WKRP in Cincinatti
Threads like this are why the word Shazaam was invented.
There's nothing like taking pride when you cut one loose in an elevater or a restaurant, raising your hand, looking around at the other peoples shocked faces and saying, "That was me, that was all mine"
I Farted - How Embaressing.
Who made you a mod? Nobody, so shut your hole! 
