What makes you afraid?

[photon]

I had a bout of vertigo in January, and I'm still experiencing symptoms. They seem to be getting ever lower, and I can do normal things like do work, drive, go out to eat, visit with family. But I still don't feel normal and don't think I could travel, do anything that would require fast movements, or anything that required being at odd angles. Even visual stimulation still impacts me, I went to see the last Planet of the Apes movie and half way through a scene change disoriented me and I had to watch the rest while keeping an eye on seats or not looking directly at the screen. My symptoms are still elevated a few days later.

I've talked to many people with similar experiences and a year or more to really feel normal seems not uncommon, but I'm afraid that this is the new normal for the rest of my life.

I've got a referral to the vertigo clinic at the south Calgary hospital, but it's like six months before they even call.

I also still get times when I get very afraid and anxious that it'll reoccur, I spent a week in the hospital hardly able to get out of bed and the first few months were pretty bad. Without your vestibular system you are completely unable to function.

On the flip side I feel guilty for feeling anxious and afraid because even if it is the new normal for me, I can still do some things, while there's others that have had far more serious injuries than me and have to live with a lot bigger changes.

Add into that the existential fear of death, I've never had a serious issue like this before and add in getting older and add in I figured I'd live forever in heaven since I was 7, I think this is the first time I've ever really felt truly aware of there being an end, a point where I won't be aware. Even writing this makes my palms sweat a bit.

Fear sucks.

[bluejays]

The more and more I think about things, the more I'm afraid of AI. And that's not Elon Musk talking, it's about job replacement in the most mass way, and it's really beginning in the next 5 years. It's more than just taking over repetitive jobs that someone in this century should be doing, like data entry, but rather it's the building of intelligent learning programs of peoples jobs to replace them in the name of larger profit. Being a technician/programmer for such industries can only provide so many jobs. There's a need for the average citizen to work and contribute to society, and without jobs, I don't know how society keeps up. That's my current fear and it's something we're seeing rapidly.

Relating to that, fears of my family passing away (I'm very close with all, especially the family dog).

And I'm so glad Canada doesn't have snakes - those would give me a heart attack if I seen one on the street or anywhere near me.

[OMG!WTF!]

Originally Posted by DuffMan

I've always wondered, what's the difference in getting knocked out in mma or boxing and a hockey or football concussion.

Interestingly it might be the smaller, repeated hits that cause the most trouble...

https://breakingmuscle.com/learn/rep...-impact-sports

There are likely fewer of these blows in mma training and competition. Probably more in boxing. But football players are literally collecting thousands of these hits a year with no proper recovery. Soccer players too are at dramatically higher risk as well just from heading the ball.

[Lanny_McDonald]

Captain, it's called aging. We all go through it. Yes, it freaks you out, but it is something we all go through. Even though I know this is part of our aging process, and cognitive failures from the aging process, it is still tough to deal with. It is terrifying standing in front of a room of several hundred people and blanking on a word that you knew just a few seconds ago. The more you press, the harder it is to recall the term. You stand there, feeling embarrassed, but it is what it is. That is why I always carry some crib notes of the important issues I am going to discuss. Don't worry Captain, it happens to us all. We're just getting too old for this ####!

[Lanny_McDonald]

What makes me afraid is the thought of being alone. I don't want to be left alone in my old age, staring at a wall in an assisted living community, waiting to die. Let me go doing something I love with the people who mean something to me.

[Ashartus]

Yeah, I don't think I ever had any real, deep-seated, longer term fear until I started feeling some of the effects of growing older. Suddenly I'm dealing with a bit of hypertension and realizing I'm the same age my grandfather was when he died. That stresses me, probably making the hypertension worse.

[Fuzz]

Spiders.

[CliffFletcher]

Swimming in the ocean, far from land, and being devoured by sharks. The movie Open Water could have been pulled directly from my the blackest fears of my subconscious.

I won't go deeper than three feet into any body of water that has ever or could ever contain sharks or other primordial marine predators. I wouldn't even get into a sea kayak in Tofino earlier this summer.

[dissentowner]

Originally Posted by fleury

And I'm so glad Canada doesn't have snakes - those would give me a heart attack if I seen one on the street or anywhere near me.

I hate to be the bearer of bad news but there are lots of snakes in Canada.

[steve9981]

nm

[DoubleF]

Few things scare me. I don't often flinch in horror movies and people on occasion think I saw through their jump scare pranks. I don't like gore and a few horror attributes, but they don't scare me. Death doesn't really scare me either.

Pain and sadness to family and friends drives me into a rage, but I don't know if I am as afraid of it as the next thing I mention:


Becoming incapable. Whether due to age or accident.

In comparison to many of you, I am quite young. But I've been struggling with memory issues and the body on occasion has told me, "You can't do that like you used to." or noticing that my depth perception has been a bit off for the last few years. I can't help but have this nagging idea that one day, instead of being able to help everyone as I currently do, I will have to rely on others. Being taken care of by AI isn't a big deal to me. I don't fear AI, but the idea of being bed ridden and taken care of by family or having someone wiping my ass is just...

That fear alone opened my eyes in regards to the discussion on euthanasia. I'm not sure if I'd go that far if I was incapable, but I can see why others want that option.

I'm the type to fight through things. I'd definitely do my best not to rely on others, but if many years pass and I am not capable... I am irrationally afraid of contemplating the crossing of that bridge.

[Buff]

I have the memory issues too. I have only had one concussion that I know of and I think that it may have had some effect on my brain, but not enough for me to be concerned about. My memory issues are hugely influenced by lack of sleep and somewhat influenced by an undetermined amount of time of poor control of blood sugar. I have diabetes and I did a great job of managing it once I discovered that I have it, but there are a few health issues that I have now as a result of the disease. My biggest fear is my feet. I've already experienced problems with my feet and I have begun to lose sensation in my big toes. I have feeling but I can't feel soft touches. I'm worried about amputation when I'm older. I'm worried about my health and I'm taking control of it again, but I worry if I'll be there to walk my daughter down the aisle. Will I walk? Right now I feel that is my single most important job of the future and I'm worried I won't be there to do it.

You know what else makes me afraid? Snakes. I have an uncontrollable fear of snakes. I'm good at challenging my fears except when it comes to snakes. I really bugs me that I can't get a handle on this fear.

[Tron_fdc]

I was chased out of the water by a shark in Australia about 6 or 7 years ago. When I say "chased" I mean the people all around me freaked the hell out because they saw a shark and took off. Then the shark alarms went off and it was every man for himself.

I caught a wave in and suddenly got the same sensation that live bait probably gets on the end of your fishing rod.

I'm not afraid of sharks per se, but I'm still constantly scanning my surroundings when I'm out surfing. Moving seaweed makes me jumpy, along with all the other marine life you see (fish, turtles, dolphins, etc).

I am a little afraid of heights, and have an irrational fear of falling to my death. When I get up on a ledge somewhere I get REALLY uncomfortable, and get this weird urge to jump....usually resulting in me backing up REAL fast or hanging on to the nearest stationary object like a rail, wall, or human.

[CaptainCrunch]

I'm not afraid of dying. I've been in some situations where I've pretty well had death sharpening his scythe.

I am afraid of how I go. We all boast in the bar with our friends about the "Live fast, die young, leave a pretty corpse". Or "When I go, I'm taking people with me". As well as the old "I don't want to die lying in some hospital bed all tubed up".

I have a fear of a long drawn out death where the last weeks or months pretty much have no meaning but to sufferer, be drugged out and waste away.

I mean people talk about dying in a fire or falling from a height and waiting for the splat as a fear. Those don't bother me. Taking a long time to die, and the inevitable dying alone, that freaks me out.

Oh and being eaten alive by a shark, or a bear or a tiger, that's a fear. Feeling a wild animal tearing into you while your still alive, that's a fear.

I'm just full of joy lately.

[Knut]

I am afraid of something happening to my kids. I am not sure how i could possibly deal with that. I sometimes am up in the middle of the night unable to sleep thinking about scenarios where they could get hurt/killed.

It is quite frankly the worst aspect of having kids.

[Itse]

Originally Posted by skudr248

Hmm...

I'm afraid of dying alone and a big reason as to why I'm alone is because I've pushed women out of my life that I've been in relationships with due to my own issues. Pushed friends away.. family at times, Like they would be better without me. I haven't been truely happy in a long time and a lot of the time feel like my life is falling apart even though I have a lot of good things in my life that Inwish I could share with someone but I seem to just focus always on negatives. I've always had this inclination that nothing is ever good enough? Like I'm mad at the world.. I don't know why.

I lost my best friend to suicide 9 years ago and another friend to murder shortly before that happened.. all in my mid to late teens. I think some of these issues I'm having now is because of this, like I feel anyone who is close to me will perish and I just can't handle another close person in my life die. I spent years rebelling, drinking heavily. The last 2 years have been particularly hard, I still abuse alcohol a lot of the time and I believe it's because I'm starting to realize as I go into my late 20s that my window to find someone is closing and realizing how could I love someone if a lot of the time I hate myself. Damn even writing this scares me.

I know what I should do, yet don't have the balls to do so, or as this topic is about... scared to do. I know I should go talk to a therapist or whomever else but don't really know how to go about doing this. One day I hope to walk in that door and ask for help, and do it before it's to late.

I wanted to say a few things to this.

You don't have to talk to a therapist. Think of someone you know who's a really good person, doesn't even have to be someone you know that well, and tell them you need an ear. Buy beers in exchange. Talk to them. Good people will listen. Good people get the need to talk, even when it's a bit weird for everyone. Weird is better than suffering. There's also net therapists, online 24 hour services that help you take the first step or just get a load off your mind in the middle of the night.

And another thing:
I'm 39 and just found one of the best women I've ever met. (Not completely sure I can hold on to this one though. If you want to talk fears, that's a pretty big fear currently.) You have time. Heck, as a guy you have tons of time, as many women will easily date a lot older guys. It's one of the perks of being a guy, age isn't that big of a deal for us.

As for the idea that "to truly love someone you first have to love yourself", that's made up nonsense someone to sell "spiritualism" or what ever. Just forget it, it's a stupid toxic BS idea. I hate myself a lot of the time and yet I've never had trouble loving others. It does make me difficult to live with at times, but hey. It's definitely better to have love and lost.

[Dion]

Anxiety and the fear that comes with it. I've battled it on different occasions in my life and dispite the treatments that help to make it go away, I still fear it coming back.

[Kiran403]

Getting old - Both my parents who were always in good shape their whole lives have experienced serious health complications in the past few years and that scares me. I've also noticed that as I age, there are definitely limits to what I can do now. Other than the wisdom of experience, I really can't see any benefit to getting old and it scares me to death.

Deep water/drowning - I've never really been a strong swimmer and water deeper than above my shoulders scares the #### out of me. I can swim in a forward motion but anything involving treading water for more than 20 seconds and I'm in trouble.

My kids growing up in a messed up world - I'm sure this is not unique as every generation worries about their kids being ok but I just wonder if they will be able to adapt and thrive or end up struggling.

Nature/animals - I just don't feel super comfortable in places that aren't cities unless I'm with people who know how to handle themselves in those kind of places. Animals kind of freak me out too.

[flamesfan1297]

Originally Posted by fleury

And I'm so glad Canada doesn't have snakes - those would give me a heart attack if I seen one on the street or anywhere near me.

Canada has lots of snakes, just not in the city of Toronto probably.

[OMG!WTF!]

Originally Posted by flamesfan1297

Canada has lots of snakes, just not in the city of Toronto probably.

Oh no. Toronto has big damn snakes. And swooping attack birds. And mean, hunchback cats with black eyes. And freaky, giant fish in the lake. It's a city of natural horrors.

Also, pro tip...if you're ever about to drown in the ocean, hyper ventilate for a while, then hold your breath and dive very deep. You'll feel like you're a fish because the water pressure makes your lungs feel full. Then you'll just pass out and won't even know you're drowning.