Social Awkwardness : tell a funny story

[troutman]

Originally Posted by jammies

How did she know? Does she think that axe murderers don't clean up afterwards, "Oh wait, don't mind me, just some blood and stuff from my last victim, and this maniacal grin is because I remembered to record 'Dancing with the Stars' before I headed out tonight. Love that show!"

Axe-Dar!

[Teh_Bandwagoner]

^^^ I wish I could pull that off. Nothing worse than going for the handshake while someone is going for the fist pump, and then you both simultaneously change it up.

[codynw]

Pretty much every interaction I have ever had with another human has been awkward. I'll probably post some stories later tonight.

[squiggs96]

Originally Posted by Cameron Swift

Delivery guy: Have a good night. Enjoy your pizza!

Me: You too!

I feel like I've done that more than once.

I think that's entirely valid. If you were a pizza delivery guy, would you not be eating pizza at some point during, or after, your shift? I know I'd be eating pizza, and I'd appreciate the guying telling me to enjoy it.

[edslunch]

When my son was a toddler I used to joke with him about being a big boy as I lifted him. "You're so big!", grunt, "oh!", groan, etc.

I did that once in a change room with him and got some REALLY weird looks when I came out

[Bobblehead]

First year university I met a woman early in the year. I would bump into her going to class sometimes but initially felt too bashful to admit I had forgotten her name. Then I couldn't do it because we had stopped and spoken a half dozen times and didn't want to look like an ass. It was always, "Hi, how are you? Good to see you again, what's new? yadda, yadda" Usually in these situations friends would bail each other out, but whenever I bumped into her there was never anyone else around. I got my degree and I never remembered her name..

[dissentowner]

Another one I just thought of was I had just stated dating this new girl and she brought me to have dinner at her parents. I was nervous as hell and kept thinking they didn't like me (turns out I was right) and somehow the subject got on squid, can't remember how and I blurt out "Oh yeah, they have long flowing testicles". Immediate silence and everybody staring at me as I start stammering "tentacles! I meant tentacles!"

[dissentowner]

Originally Posted by Bobblehead

First year university I met a woman early in the year. I would bump into her going to class sometimes but initially felt too bashful to admit I had forgotten her name. Then I couldn't do it because we had stopped and spoken a half dozen times and didn't want to look like an ass. It was always, "Hi, how are you? Good to see you again, what's new? yadda, yadda" Usually in these situations friends would bail each other out, but whenever I bumped into her there was never anyone else around. I got my degree and I never remembered her name..

But did you hit that?

[Wood]

I was working with this asian man last week with a very notiable accent. I needed him to count some boxes and he came back and told me theres 53, but with his accent it sounds like fitty-tree

I somehow accidently said alright fitty-tree in his accent. He looked at me like I was makimg fun of him

[tvp2003]

Originally Posted by JeanLucPicard

edit: 1 more! I had a Phone interview once and I was a bit nervous at start. Right after the interviewer asked to speak to me, I said really fast: Hi its Jean-Luc How are you doing today Im fine thanks.

There was a 2 seconds pause from her after that

Ace Ventura, Pet Detective! How are you this afternoon? Alrighty Then!

[photon]

Was out with a few guys and we saw some Baoding balls, but I kept calling them ben wa balls.. which aren't the same thing at all.

[Knut]

^ It is not socially awkward if no one around you knows what the hell you are talking about.

[tete]

One day while I was on maternity leave, I was having coffee with a friend. A woman, who looked very familiar, came up to me and our conversation went similar to this: "Hi, C! Great to see you, how are you? Is that your daughter? Wow, my son is 10 months now, I'll be going back to work in a couple months, etc. etc." Meanwhile, I'm sitting there, totally drawing a blank on who the hell she is. I want to be polite and introduce my friend to her, but I have no fricking clue how I know this girl. So I just carry on polite conversation, trying to phrase questions where she might give up a clue as to where I know here, but no dice. So after a few minutes of that above conversation she she says goodbye, leaves and I admit to my friend that I have no clue who she was.

Three days later, it finally hits me who this woman is. A coworker. From my department. Who I'd known for about four years. I'll totally blame my sleep-deprived baby brain on the gaffe. I have no clue if she ever realized that I had no clue who she was - if she did, she never mentioned it when I returned back to work.

[Burninator]

On the train going to work and a random guy says to me "hey you work in the such-and-such building right?" It just an old crappy small tower and I honestly didn't know it even had a name. So I said "uhhh no, I don't." He insists and I keep saying I don't. Get off the train and fast forward a couple blocks I am walking up to the building and notice there is a name and it's whatever the guy on the train said it was. Then he got on the elevator with me. Naturally I said nothing and pretended nothing happened. He must have thought I was a huge a-hole.

[EverfresH15]

I was sitting at pub table with a buddy and about 20ft away I see I girl I know. I give her the friendly wave and say how is it going(loud enough to get over the par noise). Yadda Yadda I ask her if she is preggers and do the whole rub my tummy balloon, well she wasn't! I wanted to slide under the table and run for the door as fast as I could, as it turns out she was there for her birthday with all of her family. Sorry Pam!

[Regulator75]

Originally Posted by Burninator

On the train going to work and a random guy says to me "hey you work in the such-and-such building right?" It just an old crappy small tower and I honestly didn't know it even had a name.

Which building was it?

[CaptainCrunch]

Elevator door closes.


Brrraaafaaaap

Awkwardly point at an innocent bystander. and whisper it was him.

[Huntingwhale]

-Getting in an elevator after work to walk to the train. Someone from the company gets on along with you, and just happens to be going to the station. So not wanting to seem like a dick, you walk/chat with them all along the way. Then when you get to the platform, you usually like to stand at the exact same spot. You have no idea where they like to stand. The other person feels the same way. Neither of you asks where you normally stand. So you both end up waiting right at the very front.

-Dropping a fart in your office and of course 2 seconds later the hot girl on the floor walks in. She notices. You notice she notices. Awkwardness ensues. But she takes in like a champ. Then it happens again the very next day. She finally says something like ''if you didn't want me to come in your office, you could have just told me''. F#$@

-Call in sick for work, and the person who normally would cover for you also happens to call in sick. You both look like slackers.

-Talking with a coworker about something work related. When you are done speaking to each other, you head to the washroom to drop a stool. 2 stalls, one is occupied. No problem, you take the other one. Horrid sounds from both stalls. You both get out of the stall to wash up, and it's the same co worker you were just chatting with. Neither of you say anything to each other, yet you both know what the other is thinking.

[Five-hole]

This JUST happened. Waiting for the elevator with a coworker (I assume). So in the awkward silence I say "so, finally The weekend?" And she didn't really hear me and says "you too!" I kind of just stare at her. Then we have to ride the elevator down 44 floors together in awkward silence.

[sun]

THIS! Happens way too often. The hug/handshake/bro hug. So awkward.