Social Awkwardness : tell a funny story

[FlamesAddiction]

Originally Posted by fotze

SO how were the hot springs?

Fabulous, of course!

[Dion]

This comes from a friend of mine. He's out walking his dog and meets an attractive woman who is walking hers. They get into a conversation and after a few minutes she says "It's okay you can look up now!". He got caught staring at her breasts.

[djsFlames]

I mistook a new coworker for a guy. Said "hey boys" and introduced myself, then there was the awkwardness of the other, actual male coworker trying to explain to me that she wasn't a guy. Could've fooled me with that hairdo.

Then there's the usual chatting up the girl at the concession counter at the theatre, who always then says: "Enjoy your movie/show" and me, never learning from the previous time, "You too!".

[Regulator75]

Originally Posted by GoinAllTheWay

Walking back to my desk after dropping a spike

Dropping a spike? Never heard that term before.

[troutman]

Originally Posted by Locke

I meet and deal with so many people per year on a face-to-face basis that they call me later on expecting me to remember them.

"Hey Locke, how are ya? Anyways, I've got a question, can you help me out?"

I've had whole conversations without ever knowing who I'm talking to.

I have to be careful not to say "nice to meet you". I meet so many people it is hard to remember every face.

[Papi34]

Originally Posted by edslunch

Me: how's it going?
Them: good, you?
Me: good, you?

Every damn time!

[Methanolic]

I often screw up handshakes. Don't get into the clasp fast enough and the other person is barely clasping my fingers, sort of like when a lady presents her hand to a man. Or screw it right up and end up in a non intentional Bro handshake like I'm Shaft!

[troutman]

I went on a first date. When she got home, she wanted to text her sister about how the date went. She texted me by mistake - "well, he isn't an axe murderer".

#HighPraise

[Table 5]

Originally Posted by Dion

This comes from a friend of mine. He's out walking his dog and meets an attractive woman who is walking hers. They get into a conversation and after a few minutes she says "It's okay you can look up now!". He got caught staring at her breasts.

Dion, you dog!

[Wood]

Originally Posted by edslunch

Them: (nothing)
Me: I'm good thanks, how are you?

Or

Me: how's it going?
Them: good, you?
Me: good, you?

Also

"Hey, whats up?"
"Good, you?"

[FlamesAddiction]

Or how about meeting someone in or just outside of a public bathroom and going in for a handshake? I have been on both sides of this.

You know the person accepting the handshaking is wondering how well the person washed his hands.

[Wood]

Originally Posted by troutman

I went on a first date. When she got home, she wanted to text her sister about how the date went. She texted me by mistake - "well, he isn't an axe murderer".

#HighPraise

Similar thing happened to me in high school. After the first date she meant to text her friend, but she texted me "Well he's not that bad"

#NotSoHighPraise

[jammies]

Originally Posted by troutman

She texted me by mistake - "well, he isn't an axe murderer".

How did she know? Does she think that axe murderers don't clean up afterwards, "Oh wait, don't mind me, just some blood and stuff from my last victim, and this maniacal grin is because I remembered to record 'Dancing with the Stars' before I headed out tonight. Love that show!"

[Jacks]

Originally Posted by manwiches

Agreed with the phone call/voicemail thing too. I talk to clients often and don't get caught on a voicemail too often, but once in a while when I do it's a rambling mess.

Try hitting # at the end of the message, some systems give you a menu where you can delete the message and re-record.

[Senator Clay Davis]

So when you work in retail you pretty much repeat the same lines to the point where it's basically robotic. Usually the go to one when they were leaving was "Have a good one'" (whatever the hell that means, as me and fellow employees once discussed). So I'm checking out this really good looking MILF and for whatever reason comes out "have a big one". Flush red face within seconds after that. Unfortunately it didn't turn out like porn and she didn't invite me back to her house.

[Traditional_Ale]

Getting caught skipping class in high school to bang the girlfriend at her parents house and her Mom walks in and catches us right in the throws of an orgasm. And no, the Mom was not hot, although I think she deliberately waited for that moment to intensify the horror of the whole thing.

[keratosis]

I like putting people in awkward moments.

[Street Pharmacist]

Took my 2 year old to the toilet stall in a very crowded public bathroom and he was not "pointed" in the right direction so I "adjusted" his direction. He yelled out "Daddy don't touch my penis!"

Funny looks leaving that stall. Funny looks

[Chill Cosby]

Originally Posted by Senator Clay Davis

So when you work in retail you pretty much repeat the same lines to the point where it's basically robotic. Usually the go to one when they were leaving was "Have a good one'" (whatever the hell that means, as me and fellow employees once discussed). So I'm checking out this really good looking MILF and for whatever reason comes out "have a big one". Flush red face within seconds after that. Unfortunately it didn't turn out like porn and she didn't invite me back to her house.

How about:
"Did you want a bag? No? Cool!.. *receipt prints* ..Did you want a bag?"

[djsFlames]

Originally Posted by Street Pharmacist

Took my 2 year old to the toilet stall in a very crowded public bathroom and he was not "pointed" in the right direction so I "adjusted" his direction. He yelled out "Daddy don't touch my penis!"

Funny looks leaving that stall. Funny looks

Ohhh that's bad.

But one of the best so far.