In light of the Marchand/Komorov chirping last night, I thought it'd be interesting to see what guys have seen/heard or even done themselves for chirping?
Obviously some will be offsides, and usually said in the heat of the moment, so try to keep it PG13 so we don't get the thread locked down
My experiences, I was always pretty easy going and even tempered off the ice, but if I got riled up (good hit, cheap shot, etc), I usually got pretty mouthy. I didn't do it as much in minors, but when I started beer league, it went to another level.
In a tournament final, there was this one guy who was their meanest player, and also pretty good too. Quite a bit older too, and he also looked rougher than sin, long hockey hair that looked like it hadn't been washed in a couple days, and was missing the top 4 teeth. So as the game went on, and he was taking liberties, I started calling him Toothless Wonder all game, and finally he snapped on me in a scrum, and challenged me to fight. I said something along the lines of 'What the hell are you going to do? Chase me around with your walker?'. He absolutely lost it, and charged me. So I managed to get him in a headlock, til the refs pulled as apart.
One of the best chirps I've ever heard was I played with a buddy who loved to chirp, and was extremely good at it. Very quick witted and sharp tongue. Anyways, he's following this guy around all game, who thinks he's Johnny Hockey with his dangles, but super easy to bump off the puck. My buddy kept calling him 2-Ply every chance he got, and riding him hard physically too. Finally the guy snapped in the middle of the second period, and freaked out at my buddy. In the fracas, he was wondering why he was being called 2-Ply. My buddy glares at him, and says 'Buddy, it's cause you're effing soft at 2-Ply!'. The guy just stared at him, and had nothing to say. I was in stitches, and the rest of the game, this guy played like a shell of how he tried to start, while my buddy kept calling him 2-Ply
The only guys I chirp are the guys who are like 22 or 23 and still wear their midget AA Buffs (or other quadrant) gear in beer league. They always think they're superstars out there and most of the time they're just average.
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Best one I ever heard was "16, does your coach know that you're back on the ice again?" Funny enough, their coach decided to do a late change so the poor guy had to go back to the bench right after my teammate said it and you could tell he was dejected.
I was fortunate to have a pretty good reputation in junior and I rarely chirped as being an undersized goalie I didn't feel it was a real solid strategy. One night we were playing in Bonnyville and every single time I skated by their bench for a delayed penalty someone on the bench was just relentless with their yapping. The 4th or 5th time it happened I looked at the bench and it turned out it was their back up. I had a bit of a chuckle because he was a 20 year old who had bounced around a bunch of different leagues. I locked eyes with him and said "hey suitcase, nobody even knows who you are. Have you even played a game in this league? And you're a 20 year old! Have a look at your life" (There may have been some expletives in there). The best was the two d-men standing beside him started chuckling a bit and had to hold their gloves over their mouths to try and hide it. I did not hear a peep from him the rest of the game.
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So many good ones when I played rugby, but this is one of the funnier ones to me. One of my teammates was a big, nasty guy. I can't remember what spurred it, but he grabbed a smaller guy by his jersey in front of his chest and had his other arm back with the fist cocked. And he just grabs this kid and yells at him " Can you even reach me? Because I know I can reach you!"
Last time I played summer hockey a few years ago I thought one guy was using his stick in an inappropriate manner and I,asked him if he could use that stick for anything other than hacking,and chopping. On the next shift he turned me inside out and scored - needless to say he gave me an earful.
Years ago when I was living in Winnipeg and playing two guys went off for co-incidental roughing calls. They were chatting with each other in the box, when the guy from the other team just went nuts and the ref tossed him. Turns out the guy on my team suggested his mom was a dead lay. As fate would have it, and unbeknownst to the guy on my team, the other players mom had died about 10 days prior to that.
Never make chirps about a guys mom.
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there's been quite a few chirps in men's league over the years. some of it's funny, some of it's waaaaay over the line. i'm always yapping while in goal - but never anything rude, more just goofy stuff and lots of laughing. i guess that's why i got a reputation as 'the happy goalie'... hey... it could be worse!
we had one incident in a game a few years ago when there was a bunch of racial stuff said to an east indian guy on my team. it resulted in a line brawl, a bunch of suspensions and a meeting with the league coordinator. i was at the meeting becuz i run my team and i remember i was asked towards the end of the meeting if i'd like to say a few words. i asked the guy from the other team who said the most racial stuff if he knew much about my player, other than the fact that he is brown. the guy said 'no'. i went on to tell him that 'this brown guy' is the ceo of a local development company who has the final call on lots of multi-million dollar development projects. then i asked the guy if he knew what every single one of these multi-million dollar developments need... flooring... and your team just happens to be the <name of flooring company> installers. then i asked him, 'can you guess what local company will never ever see a penny of 'the brown guys money'? you just cost your sponsor the opportunity to bid on any future project.'
that was years ago and i know for a fact that the guy on my team still refuses to do any kind of business with that flooring company and never recommends them to anyone.
i did score keeping in mens league in the past and i got to hear a bunch of stuff. this one kid (well.. kid to me. when he's 20 years your junior he's a kid) was just being stupid rude to me after he got a penalty (becuz i obviously was the reason he was in the box). he wouldn't stop running his mouth and finally i had had enough. i blow the horn while the game was going, so the ref's immediately stop play and come to see me. the kids looks at me and says something like 'what the **** are you doing?'. i reply with, 'i just kicked you out of the game!' he comes back with 'you can't ************* do that!' i reply with, 'son (looong pause).... i just did! you're night is over!' he was nooooot happy!
then there was a div1 game. a couple of the guys had been going back and forth for a bit and it was getting nasty. there was a faceoff by the one bench and the guy on the ice said to the guy on the bench something to the effect of, 'you better lock all your doors tonight becuz i'm gonna come rape your daughter.' well, that was a bench clearing brawl.
i'll end with what is probably one of my favourite chirps i've ever made. one of my customers is an ex-pro that played in europe - such a good hockey player. he owns a local sports store and one of his employees was leaving to go to university. he wanted to throw a fun little party for the guy and asked his employee what he'd enjoy - the guy wanted to play a 'staff' hockey game. my customer knows a local guy that has a private rink on his property - it's pretty sweet!! the ice is perfect for 4-on-4. they needed a second goalie so i got the call. we had such a good time. it was pretty much all the employees that wanted to come and play, their boss (my customer) and me. i'd guess that the oldest employee was early 20s, i would have been probably 40 and their boss was a couple years older than me. so i'm in full chirp mode when it came to my customer (their boss). every time i made a save on him i'd just go, but the one chirp that has stood the test of time was during a mini break in the action. my customer pulls a beer out from the water bottles and cracks it open. i see this so i start with something like, "hey! hey! what's that you got there?? is that a coors light?? what are you gonna do next?? take off you lid and skate up and down the ice? we'll call you the silver bullet (a little grey hair reference)!!!"
well, i think pretty much every one of the employees jaws hit the floor. they couldn't believe i just said that to their boss! ha! ha! we had a great laugh over that one and still chuckle about from time to time
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Last edited by bc-chris; 03-21-2017 at 08:55 PM.
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At U of AZ I played on an intramural basketball team with track team guys. We did pretty well but lost to the football players during the regular season. Those guys were jerks. And about ten times our size. They had one guy, a linebacker, who's nickname was Da Hammer. All the girls came to watch Da Hammer and made little Go Hammer signs with pictures of a hammer crushing a nail. So when we played them in the playoffs we customized our shirts with our own nicknames...Da Wrench, Da Pliers, Da Screwdriver.
Da Hammer said something about taking it to me and, thinking quickly about what a track guy could say to a football player, I chirped, "Can't kill what you can't catch Hammer".
Over the course of a 10,000 meter race, no problem. Catch ya later Hammer. How about you sharpen my spikes ya big goon. But on a basket a court I was like a 145 pound plastic bag in the wind. Everybody gets five fouls in basketball.
Men's league in Calgary this year... game 1 of the year.
We have a young guy who is kind of a bull in a china store, and he always attracts physical attention. So he's skating with the puck along the boards and a guy on the other team runs into him head on. Not too rough but still a penalty.
The guy is on the far side of the ice and the penalty boxes are in between the benches, and the whole time skating towards to box he's complaining to the ref.
He gets within 5 feet of our bench and we just hear him yell at the ref "He came on me!!"
4 guys on our bench in perfect unison: "He came on you!?!?!?!"
Funniest thing I've seen playing hockey. The guy who said it even started laughing and shaking his head.
I remember an Asian guy chirping me during a game. I don't even think I was trying to chirp him back, but the exchange just ended awkwardly.
Guy: Do they even have Hockey where you come from?
Me: Canada?
Guy: I meant where you were born, obviously!
Me: Canada?
Guy: Where your parents were from?!
Me: But... they don't play hockey.
Guy: ...
I remember an Asian guy chirping me during a game. I don't even think I was trying to chirp him back, but the exchange just ended awkwardly.
Guy: Do they even have Hockey where you come from?
Me: Canada?
Guy: I meant where you were born, obviously!
Me: Canada?
Guy: Where your parents were from?!
Me: But... they don't play hockey.
Guy: ...
lol... that's awesome. Being Asian myself, I do understand I open myself up to chirping as I've given it pretty good. As long as it's not super derogatory, I don't take too much offense to it. (see a post I had in the past for an example of crossing the line).
I find sometimes the best way to disarm the situation is to laugh at yourself.
I remember one game I played, myself and another guy were trying to get under each others skin pretty good, and I took a penalty for a trip. I whined to the ref that that wasn't a trip, and the guy came in on the convo, and said something to the effect of 'What the eff are you talking about man, that was so a trip, are you blind?'. I responded by saying 'Of course I am buddy, I'm Asian, I can barely drive when I have a cracked windshield'. For the rest of the game, we were like best buds after that, laughing at each other instead of trying to kill each other.
Playing midget aaa and a real tough guy on my team went out and got into a scrap. Beat the guy up pretty badly and then skates by their bench, arms out like King Leonidas and shouted "are you not entertained!?"
He did this later in the year too with the line "is there no one else!?"
So many good ones when I played rugby, but this is one of the funnier ones to me. One of my teammates was a big, nasty guy. I can't remember what spurred it, but he grabbed a smaller guy by his jersey in front of his chest and had his other arm back with the fist cocked. And he just grabs this kid and yells at him " Can you even reach me? Because I know I can reach you!"
You have the ball handling skills of a lesbian.
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Captain James P. DeCOSTE, CD, 18 Sep 1993
Chirping While Playing - Stories
