11-30-2012, 09:28 AM
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#1
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Conquering the world one 7-11 at a time
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Death by motorboat?
I can't believe this isn't a fata, but I couldn't find a thread on it, so....
http://www.huffingtonpost.co.uk/2012...n_2190794.html
How is it that when a woman tries to kill her boyfriend by smothering him with her breasts, it isn't front page news on CP? This place is slipping, I tell ya.
Best part of it all - she's being charged for attempted murder with a weapon. 
__________________
"There will be a short outage tonight sometime between 11:00PM and 1:00AM as network upgrades are performed. Please do not panic and overthrow society. Thank you."
Last edited by Redliner; 11-30-2012 at 09:36 AM.
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11-30-2012, 09:30 AM
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#2
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sylvan Lake
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me please
__________________
Captain James P. DeCOSTE, CD, 18 Sep 1993
Corporal Jean-Marc H. BECHARD, 6 Aug 1993
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sliver
Just ignore me...I'm in a mood today.
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11-30-2012, 09:32 AM
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#3
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Norm!
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No Pictures 
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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11-30-2012, 09:32 AM
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#4
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Calgary
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Death by snoo snoo!
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11-30-2012, 09:35 AM
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#6
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Franchise Player
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Ugh, why do the British insist on still using stone as a weight reference.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by MisterJoji
Johnny eats garbage and isn’t 100% committed.
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11-30-2012, 09:35 AM
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#7
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Conquering the world one 7-11 at a time
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Yeah no kidding.
Here's an article with a more appropriate photo:
http://www.kfiam640.com/pages/billha...ticle=10593980
for those who don't want to click:
Yep. Those things are weapons grade.
__________________
"There will be a short outage tonight sometime between 11:00PM and 1:00AM as network upgrades are performed. Please do not panic and overthrow society. Thank you."
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11-30-2012, 09:36 AM
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#8
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2012
Location: Sylvan Lake
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch
No Pictures |
better
__________________
Captain James P. DeCOSTE, CD, 18 Sep 1993
Corporal Jean-Marc H. BECHARD, 6 Aug 1993
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sliver
Just ignore me...I'm in a mood today.
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11-30-2012, 09:36 AM
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#9
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Norm!
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Giggity
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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11-30-2012, 09:45 AM
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#10
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Not a casual user
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: A simple man leading a complicated life....
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__________________
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11-30-2012, 09:47 AM
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#11
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Supporting Urban Sprawl
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This reminds me of my 18th birthday.
My dad was working up in Edmonton, but I was doing some work with his business partner down in Calgary. They conspired together and during a break at work, this lady comes in with a long coat on and walks over to my desk. I was a little confused, especially by the guy behind her carrying a small stereo system. He sets it down on the table, hits play and her coat comes off.
Of course, she was wearing nothing but a g-string, and the goods were spectacular. Grapefruit sized and smashing me in the face, during the lapdance, I was in heaven. Until she moved around behind me and put them over my face, that is. At first it was strange, and then I realized that I couldn't breathe. I start trying to maneuver myself to get some air, but it was futile.
Finally, I had to push her off me, gasping for dear life. That, combined with the less than stellar reaction from the female co-worker sitting beside me, ended my wonderful (and interestingly enough only) experience with strippers.
I often wonder how good the rest of that dance would have gone, had I not so dearly treasured my life.
I think it would have been worth it.
__________________
"Wake up, Luigi! The only time plumbers sleep on the job is when we're working by the hour."
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11-30-2012, 10:11 AM
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#13
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Income Tax Central
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A separate incident referenced in the article:
Quote:
In 1996 a physical therapist filed a lawsuit against a strip club where he had held his bachelor party.
Paul Shimkonis alleged dancer Tawny Peaks thrust her 69HH surgically enhanced breasts into his face, causing his head to jerk backwards and resulting in injuries.
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Those arent tits, those are an aircraft landing platform.
__________________
The Beatings Shall Continue Until Morale Improves!
This Post Has Been Distilled for the Eradication of Seemingly Incurable Sadness.
If you are flammable and have legs, you are never blocking a Fire Exit. - Mitch Hedberg
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11-30-2012, 10:49 AM
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#14
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2003
Location: In my office, at the Ministry of Awesome!
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Locke
A separate incident referenced in the article:
Those arent tits, those are an aircraft landing platform.
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Those aren't boobs, it's a space station!
__________________
THE SHANTZ WILL RISE AGAIN.
 <-----Check the Badge bitches. You want some Awesome, you come to me!
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11-30-2012, 11:22 AM
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#15
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Jul 2010
Location: Calgary
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9 stone = 126 pounds...with 38DDs. That some nice proporations. What a way to almost die.
Where's a Vince Vaughn GIF when you need it?
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11-30-2012, 12:07 PM
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#16
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Cleveland, OH (Grew up in Calgary)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by YYC in LAX
9 stone = 126 pounds...with 38DDs. That some nice proporations. What a way to almost die.
Where's a Vince Vaughn GIF when you need it?
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__________________
Just trying to do my best
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11-30-2012, 04:21 PM
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#17
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Crash and Bang Winger
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"Are they built for speed or comfort? What'd you do with them? Motorboat? You play the motorboat? [Motorboat sound] You motorboatin' son of a *****. You old sailor, you."
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