The days are long, but the time is short. Enjoy it.
Buy a full priced infant sized Flames jersey with name and number. You'll have a frameable keepsake that will date the era when your child outgrows it.
Mine is now 3. 3 may be the perfect age.
__________________
"Isles give up 3 picks for 5.5 mil of cap space.
Oilers give up a pick and a player to take on 5.5 mil."
-Bax
I recently became a father myself. A few things that I have found that work well:
1. The kid comes first, always. But don't confuse that with your child is the only thing.
2. If you do something habitually, keep doing it. Once a week I go to a local micro-brewery for trivia night. It's a lot of fun having a beer or two, meeting up with friends and socializing. My wife would go with the girls from work once a month for supper and a mani-pedi, she also would do book club once a month with another group of friends. We still do those things. It's important.
3. Make time for your spouse. You need time to focus on your relationship, stay connected, you don't want your relationship to fall apart in front of your child's eyes because you lost your connection.
4. Step up with the child. For the first 6 weeks I'd work from 9-5. My wife took care of our son, while I was at work. When I got home from work, I'd take care of the feedings and diaper changes until about 1am. At which point I'd go to bed (wife usually around 10:30) and my wife would take care of the night feedings and changes. Yes, her schedule is longer, but she also can sleep when he sleeps during the day.
The other thing I did was once ever 2 weeks I'd take the baby into the next room and do the night feedings/changings so my wife could get a full night sleep.
I say we did this for the first 6 weeks because at 6 weeks my wife needed her gallbladder out, which resulted in 6 weeks of not being able to lift 10+ lbs (so not able to lift the baby). So I'm up throughout the night as well. The lack of sleep sucks, but you really would do anything for your kid and do it without thinking twice.
5. Breastfeeding vs Formula. Breastfeeding is better, but that doesn't mean it's the only. It's ok to supplement with formula; some people can't breastfeed; sometimes other medical issues will arise that prevent you from breastfeeding. Don't let the shamers get to you.
I mean that on both senses; anyone tells you that you shouldn't be breastfeeding anywhere tell them to f*** off. Anyone tells you forumla is wrong and you should be breastfeeding, you can also tell them to f*** off. (I have a rant locked and ready about how you can't breastfeed on my wife's prescription medication so I guess my kid should starve).
If you forumla feed, Parent's Choice concentrate at Walmart is the best. I've had nurses in the breastfeeding clinic tell me they're all the same so get the cheapest, which is the Walmart brand from what I've found.
6.
PAMPERS SWADDLERS!!!
No seriously, those things are amazing, every other diaper sucks donkey balls in comparison. They aren't all the same. Pampers Swaddlers.
If someone gives you Huggies, or any other brand take them to Walmart and exchange them.
You will thank me later.
7. Fisher Price swings are worth their weight in gold. We have a big one that plugs in and a portable one that takes C batteries. They're fantastic.
8. Baby Box program; sign up they give you everything you need to get started and the box is a certified bassinet. http://www.babyboxco.com/ they're free in NS, not sure about Alberta.
9. Sign up for the Enafil; Similac; Nestle baby clubs. You get free samples and coupons. Take advantage.
10. Take lots of pictures and videos. They grow quicker than you can imagine.
11. Watching hockey/sports with your little one is great bonding time.
12. Enjoy every second, it's a ton of fun. Nothing to be nervous or worry about. You won't break the baby. They're great. Love mine to death, and can't wait to take him to his first hockey game.
__________________ "Calgary Flames is the best team in all the land" - My Brainwashed Son
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I'm also surprised at the fact dads are being sent home. My wife went into labour at 11:45pm; I had about 45 minutes to an hour sleep at this point. Needless to say I didn't sleep until the next day around 2pm or so (baby was born at 9:40am). I slept for a few hours then back at the hospital. I went home around 8 or so to try and get some sleep.
The nurses got mad at my wife because I wasn't there throughout the night. (Not sure what I could have done with 3-4 hours sleep in the last 48+ hours).
__________________ "Calgary Flames is the best team in all the land" - My Brainwashed Son
Some/Most of this has been said, but repetition is great.
Mine is 2.5
1. Try to do at least one feeding a day. It's great bonding time for you and your baby, and will give your wife a break. Either pumping or formula work for this.
2. If you can get your baby used to both formula and breastmilk, it gives you both a lot more freedom earlier on.
3. Date Nights are still important. Make time in your relationships apart from your child.
4. After the first few months, the biggest thing for your baby is routine. There are a million books for every possibility of feeding/sleeping/pooping/behavior/whatever. The biggest thing is really just to keep consistency in what you're doing with them.
5. Babies are tougher than you think, and the usual answer to "is this normal" is yes. Do not hesitate to call health link though.
6. Every baby is different. Just remind yourself that whenever someone is telling you about how their wonderful/awful child is doing.
7. Lucies List is a good site to figure out what's good and what you need. You need way less than you think to start, and most things can be bought used for way less. (Except car seats, don't buy those used)
Watch it if you can, it really is an amazing thing to watch. Some say its nasty but hey, you love her and it is your child you are watching being born.
But congrats and kiss sleeping in goodbye.
Thanks everyone! It really was a surreal experience. And what a whirl wind of a few days it's been. We got to the hospital around 3 to be induced and were sent home until she got contractions. Well we ended up staying near the hospital and had dinner and that's where her contractions started.
Lucky we were close, and when i got her the wheelchair her water broke. We were wheeled off into a room where we had an awesome nurse. We were the for about 5 hours, and they kept monitoring baby. Her heart rate would continuously dip every time she had a contraction so they were watching it very closely.
My wife ended up with an epidural (highly recommended) and the contraction pain was gone. The dr called in the obgyn and she did some tests and felt we needed to do a c+section... Like right then and there. From the time we said c-section, we were in the OR in about 3-5 minutes.
Seeing my wife getting a c-section made me very glad I'm not a woman. She had intense shakes, fevers, acid reflux (did I mention we ate right before this? Don't do this) and had a hard time to breathe. While they had a curtain up so we couldn't see anything, I could see the resident pushing very hard on her.
And out came the baby! Wasn't breathing at first but got out the mucus and she turned out all right! 7 pounds 11 ounces!
Got wheeled into the room and we probably slept about 20 minutes total trying to get our baby girl to feed. Eventually in the morning I asked for formula and she fell asleep instantly for 2 hours. We still want to breast feed but we will supplement when needed. But next time I would just go tlstraight to the formula to give us some much needed rest after a long stressful day. These last 24 hours, we had about 3 hours of sleep. So I'm holding my baby texting this on my phone while my wife is getting some much needed sleep.
I just want to say I loved changing her diapers and helping my wife eat and feed. It's such a surreal experience and the few times I felt I could be useful.
I quickly glanced through the comments and they seem very helpful and will go through them more when we have the time. Much appreciated everyone! And good luck to all the soon to be parents out there!
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I always found the Alberta naming forms they give you at the hospital pretty amusing. The fact that they tell you that you are not allowed to name your kid a series of symbols or digits is sort of a sad reflection on our society. Clearly, it's been legitimately considered.
Your mileage may vary with everyone's advice. Do your own thing... it'll work out fine.
Yeah, this thread is always funny when it comes up. I've got four kids, I would disagree with more than half of the stuff in here. Every kid is different. The only consistent thing I can say about raising my kids is that routine is king. Nothing else really matters.
Raising a 12 year old girl has been interesting...
Yeah, this thread is always funny when it comes up. I've got four kids, I would disagree with more than half of the stuff in here. Every kid is different. The only consistent thing I can say about raising my kids is that routine is king. Nothing else really matters.
Raising a 12 year old girl has been interesting...
Haha, my daughter is 11 going on 17, so I think I can relate. I wouldn't change it for the world, but there are some times I could do without. Recently was a discussion between her and my son about "boners" and as I tried to stop the conversation from happening she fired out "Dad, you have definitely had that before!"
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8. Baby Box program; sign up they give you everything you need to get started and the box is a certified bassinet. http://www.babyboxco.com/ they're free in NS, not sure about Alberta.
.
I've been trying to figure out what to get my wife for Mothers day, she is due almost exactly one month from the day, but that baby box looks pretty neat.
Which one did you go with?
We graduated from baby college last night, I have seen things man.. things there are no coming back from.. I am sure it will be more 'magical' when it is my own though.
__________________ "In brightest day, in blackest night / No evil shall escape my sight / Let those who worship evil's might / Beware my power, Green Lantern's light!"
The only consistent thing I can say about raising my kids is that routine is king. Nothing else really matters.
Raising a 12 year old girl has been interesting...
I wholeheartedly agree with both these points. I have 3 girls and my oldest just turned 13. I stopped trying to understand what is going on since she was 12! Just gotta manage it one moment at a time .... and I still have to do it 2 more times. At least I am in better shape than my buddy who has 5 girls.
I'm also surprised at the fact dads are being sent home. My wife went into labour at 11:45pm; I had about 45 minutes to an hour sleep at this point. Needless to say I didn't sleep until the next day around 2pm or so (baby was born at 9:40am). I slept for a few hours then back at the hospital. I went home around 8 or so to try and get some sleep.
The nurses got mad at my wife because I wasn't there throughout the night. (Not sure what I could have done with 3-4 hours sleep in the last 48+ hours).
I guess it depends on the delivery time, nurses, and hospital. We went into the hospital around 7pm, baby was born at 7am (no sleep for any of us that night obviously and both myself and mother in law stayed). I didn't go home until much later the next evening around 8pm but wife stayed that extra night. Anyway, all of the nursing staff encouraged me to go home, saying she will be well take care of and I would be useless with no sleep for 2 nights in a row. Maybe some hospitals have better set ups than others, but the Foothills chairs don't recline at all and it would be tough to get more than 15 minutes sleep at a time. Anyway, I was back early the next morning and all was good. I wasn't peaking into the rooms or anything, but didn't seem like too many spouses stayed overnight.
Yeah, this thread is always funny when it comes up. I've got four kids, I would disagree with more than half of the stuff in here. Every kid is different. The only consistent thing I can say about raising my kids is that routine is king. Nothing else really matters.
Raising a 12 year old girl has been interesting...
Yup. I have 3 kids. Oldest is 15. All of them good people luckily. Essentially, when you first have kids you know nothing. Then, when they get older, they remind you that you still know nothing
I'm also surprised at the fact dads are being sent home. My wife went into labour at 11:45pm; I had about 45 minutes to an hour sleep at this point. Needless to say I didn't sleep until the next day around 2pm or so (baby was born at 9:40am). I slept for a few hours then back at the hospital. I went home around 8 or so to try and get some sleep.
The nurses got mad at my wife because I wasn't there throughout the night. (Not sure what I could have done with 3-4 hours sleep in the last 48+ hours).
Quote:
Originally Posted by Flabbibulin
I guess it depends on the delivery time, nurses, and hospital. We went into the hospital around 7pm, baby was born at 7am (no sleep for any of us that night obviously and both myself and mother in law stayed). I didn't go home until much later the next evening around 8pm but wife stayed that extra night. Anyway, all of the nursing staff encouraged me to go home, saying she will be well take care of and I would be useless with no sleep for 2 nights in a row. Maybe some hospitals have better set ups than others, but the Foothills chairs don't recline at all and it would be tough to get more than 15 minutes sleep at a time. Anyway, I was back early the next morning and all was good. I wasn't peaking into the rooms or anything, but didn't seem like too many spouses stayed overnight.
Same situation for me, also at Foothills. They actually sent me home twice. We initially went in early afternoon but by evening it was clear things were not moving very quickly. They were not going to send my wife home but told me I may as well go home and sleep in a bed and come back in the morning (this was about 11pm). Phone rang at midnight and they told me to get my ass back, things were now moving along. Kids were born around 7am and went to the NICU so again they pretty much booted me out and sent me home since my wife was tired and was going to sleep anyhow, and we weren't going to see the kids over the day anyhow.
Different circumstances than most, but the bottom line was the same. No point being there overnight if she is sleeping and baby is not around either. May as well get some quality rest at home and come back when you can do some good.
It was also an odd sensation for us. The kids stayed in the NICU (7 days and 10 days) so my wife and I were home alone for the first week after they were born. Very weird feeling but also allowed us to mentally prepare ourselves and also get some baby time at the hospital before having to bring them home and be on our own with them.
Here are my random thoughts, in case anyone wants to know them.
I'm surprised how militant some are over diaper brand. I think it's a Pepsi vs. Coke thing... We've preferred Huggies as they've fit our daughter better. Other friends who use Pampers say it hides the smell of ##### better... our opinion is that you want to smell that so you know to change the diaper right away. Who wants to sit in ##### because their parents didn't smell it for an hour? But we stuck on Huggies shortly after birth and are still using them 2+ years later. Potty training is going pretty good, but she just will not poo in the potty!
Otherwise, breastfeeding sucks (IMWO- In my wife's opinion) and do what's best for your child. Being fed makes a HUGE difference (our girl was premmie, and all problems went away when we gave up on breastfeeding- we were having issues with mom and baby figuring it out).
Buy safety things new- car seat being the biggest one. Everything else will be grown out of so quickly that there's no need to go overboard with new stuff. Honestly. Kijiji, Varage Sale etc, buy clothes and toys there. Toys are forgotten about quickly. Our daughter really liked the jolly jumper and the Sophie chew toy (buy that new of course).
Sleeping... this is a killer for many parents. We were lucky and she's slept through the night since 3 months. Why? I think it's due to formula feeding, and the fact she is in her own room away from us and the dog so she is undisturbed. My wife watches her video monitor like a hawk though. Some people co-sleep with baby for a long time, but that wasn't something we wanted to even try.
Also for sleeping, as a dad I was worried about SIDS... and I think my wife was too obviously. But it affected my sleep, as I woke to every little muffled cry. Then after 4/5/6 months or so she was strong enough to squirm around and flip herself over and crawl etc, so I figured if she needed to escape some blanket or whatever that she was strong enough. Then I could relax.
Now that she's over 2, she NEEDS to watch her shows (yes, we're bad parents that let her watch shows.... boo hiss) and so having her own iPad is almost becoming a necessity. RIDICULOUS for a 2 year old, but I guess she sees us using them.
Once they start talking and interacting, the fun is going way up for me. I have a mini-me! She is so great, and has such innocent potential right now. It's great to be a dad!
edit: add birth story, not that anyone cares.
Went to PLC at 2am for weird wife feelings at 36 weeks, turns out water broke, contractions coming. Wife had a bit of a cold so a cough must have spurred baby to come out early. Was a slow night and they let us stay. Wife wanted to go "natural" without drugs, so she pushed and pushed and pushed for 6-8 hours and baby got stuck so we had "emergency" c-section. Baby was over 6lbs and long, healthy. Had to stay because of c-section and baby wouldn't do breastfeeding so got a bit of jaundice and had to go under the lights. Once we got on formula, we were home, was about 3 days. I stayed overnight with them all nights, as we sprung for the "semi-private" room, but I could not sleep in the chairs so I was sleeping at home in the afternoons while the new grandma helped my wife. I returned and took the overnight/morning shift for a few days. Everything worked out in the end, but I have NEVER driven so carefully as I did when I took mom and baby home for the first time (nevermind it was -30 and icy, I still was even more overcautious! Probably went 60 on the deerfoot even if it was bare)
While my wife was pregnant with our second I was the electrical designer for the NICU upgrades that were happening at the PLC. The job was finished a few weeks before the kid was born, and sure enough, he ended up in the PLC NICU for 8 days after he was born. That was a little strange.
Diapers you never know what will work for you. Buy the small pack of a couple different kinds and see which works for you.
My wife and I both have sensitive skin, so sure enough so does our son. Huggies sensitive ones gave him diaper rash, Pampers sensitive swaddlers didn't so that's what we went with. Funny enough the Huggies sensitive wipes are way better than the Pampers sensitive wipes.
Now that I look back I think I have to say one of my favorite things is how a kid can change even the roughest SOB into a gentle giant at the mere sight or sound of their kid. I used to work out of town for extended periods and with some pretty rough and tumble guys. Let's just say the language at work is not the same as you would use in a family setting and after a few weeks or months it became pretty much second nature. Coming home I would often see countless times at the airport a guy coming off the plane and being met by his family. Instant change to a big puddle of mush as his little girl/guy ran up and gave him hugs and presented a flower, or picture they had made or something. It's unbelievable how they change you, in a wonderful way.
Having semi-recently gone through the process (my son is about to turn 3), here are a few of my quips. Probably many repeats, but it just goes to reaffirm that becoming a parent has the same effect on many.
- Be there for your wife no matter what. She will need you in more ways that you ever thought possible. I read that she had an e-c-section. Those aren't easy (we went through one too), and the recovery is crazy for it. While I've heard some recover quickly, my wife's body pretty much couldn't tell that she had given birth, and it was a long and painful 2-3 weeks post partum.
- if you are going the breast feeding route... it's not at all like the movies and it's hard AF. Some find it easy, but we took 2-3 weeks to get it. That might not seem long, but when your child isn't eating and you're worried about them being malnourished, it gets real, really quick.
- I read a comment about Pampers. Agreed. Only go Pampers. the rest are terrible
- Enjoy every moment, enjoy every hug, enjoy every cuddle, enjoy every coo. It's only been 3 years since my son has been born, and while I still get those cuddles and hugs, it's not nearly like when he was younger. As they grow, you find new things to be proud of and new things to hold on to.
- With that being said, download '1 second everyday'. It's expensive now (6.99 i believe) on the app store, but worth every penny. I've been using it since the day my son has been born, albeit missing a couple days here or there. The premise is to splice 1 second of a video you take every day, and then mash it together. It does has some limitations (no cloud saving, so I compile a year, and then make the video, and then dump the project for the new year), but has been an unreal and marvelous keepsake that I intend to do until my son turns 18, and even longer if he lets me.
Last edited by manwiches; 04-28-2017 at 07:56 AM.
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