Nope, thats perfectly understandable. If you dont want the dog, we put him in the other office during our appointment, it happens all the time. He's got a little bed in there and everything.
Also he's a very small dog, he doesnt drool, he's hypoallergenic and he doesnt shed.
This is important, because otherwise I'm 100% with you. I dont want to be attacked by some giant slobbery shedding beast either. I've got other things to do with my day and I dont want all my clothes covered in dog hair.
And I dont want people coming into my office with dog allergies to be uncomfortable, so him being hypoallergenic and not shedding is important.
Most of the time he sleeps at my feet. I will acknowledge that initially he will try and lick your face, but he's like 25 pounds. If you want to keep him down you can and after like 3 minutes he calms down and just lies down.
But like I said. Brutal honesty. I've had people come in and "I dont like dogs."
Cool. I lock him in the other room, we conduct our business and when we're done I let him out.
Thats not difficult. I'm okay with that.
How do you conduct your business when you’ve locked him in another room?
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So what you are saying is that through your job experience and various HR training that you would have done in school and throughout your career you have learned how to have difficult conversations.
So what courses and books would you recommend to learn those skills.
The book I recommend most is Understanding and Changing Your Management Style (1st and 2nd edition) by Robert C. Benfari. There are case studies, scenarios and self-assessment. Hint: How do we make it work, how do we shift if it doesn't? Problem solving and conflict management, how to determine other peoples' personality type so that we can anticipate how those people will react in certain situations and respond to different management techniques.
And Generation Why by Kari Moore which talks about managing the younger generation, what motivates them and what makes them tick. Hint: They want to be involved in decision making, they're not content with just Here's A, Do A, Here's B, do B.
I never took a course but they are offered everywhere really. We also had seminars with guest speakers but I don't remember from where since they were organized by HR. I'd have to check on Monday in the office.
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So what you are saying is that through your job experience and various HR training that you would have done in school and throughout your career you have learned how to have difficult conversations.
So what courses and books would you recommend to learn those skills.
Or learn to have a complete lack of self-awareness and all those difficult conversations will magically disappear. In the accounting world, at least.
3-DAY SUPERVISION: BUILDING POSITIVE RELATIONSHIPS WORKSHOP
This workshop is for people who are in supervisory roles, helping them to learn more about employee attitudes and productivity; effective ways to communicate; problem solving and decision making; delegation and direction; conflict management.
Quote:
Conflict Resolution Workshop: A Solution Is At Hand
2-DAY CONFLICT RESOLUTION: THE SOLUTION IS AT HAND WORKSHOP
Conflict in the workplace just seems to be a fact of life. We’ve all seen situations where people with different life and work experiences, beliefs, values, goals and needs have come into conflict, and many times, we’ve seen the often intense personal animosity that can result. The fact that conflict exists, however, is not necessarily a bad thing. As long as it is resolved effectively, it can lead to personal and professional growth. However, if it is not handled well, the results can be damaging. By resolving conflict successfully, you can solve many of the problems that it has brought to the surface, as well as receive benefits that you might not expect, such as:
Increased understanding
Increased group cohesion
Improved self-knowledge
This workshop covers the following topics:
Goodness Dyad
Setting the Intent (What is the desired outcome?)
Defining the conflict.
What is resolution?
Deconstructing role plays of various conflicts
Outer conflict speaks to an inner conflict
A structural map
Clear communication – from beginning to end – speaking my truth
A willingness to put it on the table
Whose stuff is it?
Life Journey’s Map: bullying, abuse, self harm and healing
Policies and Protocols: to give direction to create a healthy, productive work environment
Putting on the Conflict resolution gloves:
Left Glove: The necessity of getting the in, out.
Right Glove: A conflict Resolution Model
More Communication
Building a climate of co-operation, clarity, consistency and structure
What helps?
Implementing a defined, usable disciplinary process
The rewards and celebrations
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This is a professional environment, there are no difficult conversations. I fire difficult personalities.
Like what would be an example?
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Originally Posted by PaperBagger'14
What would be an example of a difficult conversation? That’s a very broad brush and I don’t know if you’ll find an accurate answer without more info. Are you looking for a course in de escalation?
Difficult conversations could have a huge range and if you’re looking for a “catch all” course it will probably not be very effective.
Without doxing myself. The safety committee I sit on is for a municipality. Some of the training would be for inter employee relations ie managers and empoyees, another portion would be for people getting yelled at about various things the public hates about municipalities, like by laws or snow removal ect.
Some workplaces have unions that overcomplicate trying to have difficult conversations.
Anyway, I took a leadership course here in Sasky that had a difficult conversations module. I wonder if most leadership courses do?
They all do, but as I've mentioned above I think their definitions are a little too broad. Too many 'catch-all' categories. And the solution is always to step back and be diplomatic.
I'll give an example on the staff side. Asking the manager for a promotion or a pay-raise. For some people this is very easy, they do it confidently, and for others, it's death itself. I don't know if a course can conclude that it is difficult for everyone and here are the 5 best diplomatic ways to ask so there's no conflict. No, some people have marched right into my office and confronted me about it. They are not automatically in the wrong because they are not being diplomatic. Sometimes you have to challenger the manager, put his/her feet to the fire. They are not automatically wrong if the manager's feelings are hurt. My job as a manager is to assess their claims.
Another one is inappropriate behavior. You're taught to empathize, be respectful and find common ground? Why? It's inappropriate behavior according to workplace policies. Managers cannot just allow it to continue while everyone else has to be respectful.
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Last edited by GirlySports; 01-22-2024 at 12:23 PM.
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Without doxing myself. The safety committee I sit on is for a municipality. Some of the training would be for inter employee relations ie managers and empoyees, another portion would be for people getting yelled at about various things the public hates about municipalities, like by laws or snow removal ect.
I used to work with an 30 vet as an MLA ( who has since passed away) he said, the best people who work in public office are able to tell you to #### off and make you feel like it was your idea.
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I worked at a company where behaviour was so toxic we had a "courageous conversations" half-day seminar. Brought in a speaker who dealt with this sort of thing at a pretty high cost. All that happened is that it exacerbated the behaviour as now people had the tools to say, "I'm just trying to have a courageous conversation."
Like most things of this nature, it starts with how leadership behaves.
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I used to work with an 30 vet as an MLA ( who has since passed away) he said, the best people who work in public office are able to tell you to #### off and make you feel like it was your idea.
If managers get paid the big bucks to have difficult conversations, then how is it you’re struggling with the concept of difficult conversations?
If you don’t think they exist, what exactly are you being paid for?
Having had a chance to peek behind the curtain of several HR departments in multiple organizations, one thing I often realize is that depending on the organizational structure, conversations are either easier or harder to do. This is because the structure helps to remove emotion from the conversation. Kinda like a, "This isn't personal, the structure and metrics are showing that objectively, you need to be notified of this to avoid potential consequences."
As a manager, I've noticed this as well that structure isn't pure HR fluff stuff. Structure does significantly affect manager employee relationships and how easy or awkward those conversations are.
This is possibly a reason why someone like girlysports might think these talks are easy/not difficult (and I've been in those scenarios and I concur) vs others of us who don't have these structures and thus many of these conversations are not easy and feel difficult (and I've been in these scenarios too and I also concur).
To me, good company structures/metrics help difficult conversations in work place scenarios like firefighting equipment prior to running into a burning building. Bad or lack of structure feels like having to run into that burning building with at best sopping wet t-short and shorts. It doesn't feel good to feel inadequately equipped for that scenario.
Quote:
Originally Posted by lazypucker
To actually add something "intelligent" to this conversation, I always approach my work conversations without involving personal emotions.
I am not afraid to call people out if they are not pulling their weight, or if they are late with their deliverables, without getting mad at them. Doesn't matter if it is some junior staffer or senior executive.
Just lay out the facts and explain how their action/non-action is delaying the projects and costing valuable time and resources for the company. Most people should understand.
I agree with Girly that these shouldn't be "difficult conversations" if you keep things factual and non-emotional.
Agreed it shouldn't have to feel difficult, but also depends on how well equipped and prepared you are by your company's situation before walking into that situation. The more you can reference objective metrics and materials (ie: employee handbooks), the better.
There's a huge gap in difficulty between the difference of, "These objective metrics collected on everyone is showing you are below the performance of your peers. I am not singling you out." vs "I need to have a conversation with you because it seems that you're not doing as well as the others" (and not having good data or records to back it up)
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There's a huge gap in difficulty between the difference of, "These objective metrics collected on everyone is showing you are below the performance of your peers. I am not singling you out." vs "I need to have a conversation with you because it seems that you're not doing as well as the others" (and not having good data or records to back it up)
In both scenarios the correct response from the employee is: “I noticed you didn’t mention anything about me failing to meet my contractual obligations and expectations or violating any company policies. What exactly is it that you think I’m doing wrong?”
Sounds like you’re saying you don’t like having witnesses around when you have difficult conversations with people. Geez I wonder why that might be.
Lol that’s quite the jump knowing absolutely nothing about me. If anything I am too much of a pushover and will just work more to compensate for those not pulling their weight. And I should be able to tell someone “hey, you’re not pulling your weight.” Without it becoming a big ordeal.
