I quite like what they do in New Orleans, where you have a plot or a family marker, but what happens is when you die they bury you above ground. Funeral.
Within a year, your body is fully decomposed. They gather to have a celebration of your life at this time and your bones are moved to the ground to decay and mixed with your relatives, previously departed who used your plot. You essentially become calcium and nutrients for the soil along with predeceased family.
Pretty cool and efficient. Not sure if I got all the details right!
I quite like what they do in New Orleans, where you have a plot or a family marker, but what happens is when you die they bury you above ground. Funeral.
Within a year, your body is fully decomposed. They gather to have a celebration of your life at this time and your bones are moved to the ground to decay and mixed with your relatives, previously departed who used your plot. You essentially become calcium and nutrients for the soil along with predeceased family.
Pretty cool and efficient. Not sure if I got all the details right!
Having a second line at my funeral would be incredible.
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Remember the midway ride "the zipper".....well stuff me in there with a bunch of dry wood. Start the ride up and shoot an arrow on fire and set me ablaze. Keep the ride going playing my favorite tunes until I burn out then sweep up the ashes.
They've done this a few times in Vikings. Always amuses me that it keeps drifting in the right direction out to sea. What if you had an unfavorable wind pickup or something? Next thing you know you have this burning raft coming back at you with a skeleton on it that wants to park on your beach.
I've scattered four tubs of ashes in the last year.. I thought of starting a business at one point. Scatter Matters. You bake 'em we shake 'em. But it's a tough gig. One friend had been carting her dad around for twenty years and just wanted him to go to a nice spot in the mountains, So i hiked him up to one of my favourite spots, set up my video camera and planned on the gentle breeze whispering his ashes out over the cliffs. They didn't tell me however that he had been through the flood in 2013 and so when I opened the plastic bag and chucked him, he just kind of barfed out like wet sand all over my leg and foot. I panicked a bit a kicked him off my foot and down the cliff, kind of a sandy waterfall. I had to dump the rest because you can't split him up.
I got lost with another box of ash. Almost spent my first night out in the wilderness with my dead brother. It would have been somewhat fitting if he had killed me too. By the time I found his stupid lake I just pitched the whole box in and ran home screaming at bears all night.
I don't care what happens to me as long as I'm a pain in the ass to someone. I don't think there's a business to be had here.
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Ashes put into fireworks, shoot em off. Let me explode in the sky with Fireworks by the tragically hip playing in the background.
Make sure you really explicitly state that you want the Tragically Hip song.
But then again you're dead, so what would it matter if it was the Katy Perry one? It would actually be fun to imagine your loved ones trying to figure out what you were trying to convey.
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I hate funerals, so I've told my wife she is to throw me a destination funeral somewhere tropical. I also want people to compete in various feats of strength. My remains are to be encased within a coconut and presented as the trophy.
Always assumed burial but the more I think about it the more I lean towards cremation. And then having my ashes spread around at the Tombstone Mountain viewpoint along the Dempster Highway in the Yukon. It would have to be in September to recreate the scene I experienced. It's the single most beautiful spot I've ever been and I doubt I'll get my wife and daughter up there on a vacation. So this is the way for them to experience someplace that holds a very special place in my heart.
Cryogenically frozen until a future time where I can be revived and cured of whatever was about to kill me. With my luck it will be some horribly dystopian future of endless suffering and immortal pain though...instead of Futurama.
I don't give a rats ass in hell what they do with me after, but Id like to think I've done enough good in the world that I'd get a good turn out at my funeral, an open bar of course doesn't hurt.