09-03-2017, 07:36 PM
|
#1
|
#1 Goaltender
|
Desperate and F-off, or endearing and pleasant?
Hey,
I'll preface: Last time I was on a date, I ended up marrying and spending more than a decade with her. And I was rather young when we met. I haven't been on a date since we split. I'm not honestly looking for a long term, marry me please type situation, but if a relationship ever evolved that way I'd entertain.
I met a lady, she was wonderful blah blah blah. I, like an idiot, let her drive away without asking to see her again. I feel that would have been a welcome proposition. This was a week ago today.
I know where she works (clinical environment), but that is that only way I can figure to reach out to her. I was thinking of sending some flowers with a note and my number...what's the worst that can happen? But someone's said it's been far too long and any interest she had would be gone and I'd better be ready for a serious relationship if reaching out in that manner.
I don't think it's because I'm lonely, or sex-crazed or something causing me to think about her? I just think she was very charming and held herself in in a very refreshing manner.
God, is that desperate?
|
|
|
09-03-2017, 07:48 PM
|
#2
|
First Line Centre
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Calgary
|
Without knowing anything more than this message, I can't say if she would like it or not, but I see nothing wrong with the idea - assuming she told you where she works as opposed to you just happened to track her down there on your own. (The latter may come across as kind of stalker-ish.)
If she's not receptive to it, then you know that she's not a good match, even though you enjoyed the one date. If she is, then you can have more dates. Just send a small-ish arrangement and then leave it up to her to respond or not.
Last edited by Amethyst; 09-03-2017 at 07:55 PM.
|
|
|
The Following User Says Thank You to Amethyst For This Useful Post:
|
|
09-03-2017, 07:54 PM
|
#3
|
Not Taylor
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Calgary SW
|
Either she says Yes, then great, or she says No and you never hear from her again.
As it stands right now, you're never hearing from her again anyway, so what do you have to lose?
|
|
|
The Following 11 Users Say Thank You to Swift For This Useful Post:
|
Anduril,
Coach,
D as in David,
dissentowner,
EldrickOnIce,
Itse,
mile,
mrkajz44,
rotten42,
TheFlamesVan,
wittynickname
|
09-03-2017, 08:11 PM
|
#4
|
Franchise Player
|
How did you go on a date with her but have no way to contact her?
Or did you randomly meet her somewhere and not ask for a follow-up?
|
|
|
09-03-2017, 08:11 PM
|
#5
|
Lifetime Suspension
|
Interesting user name.
Dating advice for bikers?
Sent from my Nexus 5X using Tapatalk
|
|
|
The Following User Says Thank You to Enigma For This Useful Post:
|
|
09-03-2017, 08:14 PM
|
#6
|
Powerplay Quarterback
|
I'd say go for it, you have nothing to lose and everything to gain.
I think if people would just be honest and up front with each other, they would be so much happier in the end. All this "the person who shows the least interest has all the power" and ghosting that goes on is what makes dating this days annoying on some level. You enjoyed her company and want to see her again and she presumably didn't think you were a freak since she told you where she works, so tell her. I certainly don't think that you need to go into it with the intention of a serious relationship right away, but if she asks what your expectations are, have an honest answer.
|
|
|
09-03-2017, 08:16 PM
|
#7
|
Not a casual user
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: A simple man leading a complicated life....
|
I'd reach out to her and see what happens. The worst she could say is no or get lost. You won't know until you take a chance.
__________________
|
|
|
09-03-2017, 08:18 PM
|
#8
|
Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2002
Location: Auckland, NZ
|
Dude, if you like her, life's too short not to try. Go for it. Better to have tried and failed than to have left yourself wondering 'what if' for the rest of your life. Atleast you'll know.
|
|
|
The Following 6 Users Say Thank You to Muta For This Useful Post:
|
|
09-03-2017, 08:52 PM
|
#9
|
Franchise Player
Join Date: Jul 2005
Location: 555 Saddledome Rise SE
|
Assuming you came to know where she works in an appropriate manner, I think that's a great plan. Go for it. And poke fun at yourself in the note for being an idiot and not saying it before she drove off.
|
|
|
The Following User Says Thank You to Frequitude For This Useful Post:
|
|
09-03-2017, 08:52 PM
|
#10
|
Franchise Player
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: 127.0.0.1
|
What?
__________________
Pass the bacon.
|
|
|
09-03-2017, 09:02 PM
|
#11
|
#1 Goaltender
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: wearing raccoons for boots
|
One date and you dont have contact info, dont send flowers. Send just the note.
Or, you know, show up there and ask to see her. But dont sit in the parking lot until she comes out, thats creepy and stalkerish.
I assume you searched social media for her, see if theres a way to contact her that way, friend of a friend of a twitter follower or something.
|
|
|
09-03-2017, 09:12 PM
|
#12
|
Franchise Player
Join Date: Dec 2012
Location: On your last nerve...:D
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by DuffMan
What?
|
HE WANTS TO KNOW IF HE ASKS THIS WOMAN FOR A DATE, IF IT MEANS HE'S GOING TO MAKE HER THINK HE'S DAHMER OR IF SHE'LL BE ALL "D'awwww, wookit him, so cute".
|
|
|
The Following 13 Users Say Thank You to Minnie For This Useful Post:
|
8sPOT,
Anduril,
Ben_in_Canada,
Charsiu,
Cheese,
Diemenz,
Dion,
DuffMan,
EldrickOnIce,
malcolmk14,
Muta,
oilyfan,
Otto-matic
|
09-03-2017, 09:19 PM
|
#13
|
Franchise Player
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: 127.0.0.1
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Minnie
HE WANTS TO KNOW IF HE ASKS THIS WOMAN FOR A DATE, IF IT MEANS HE'S GOING TO MAKE HER THINK HE'S DAHMER OR IF SHE'LL BE ALL "D'awwww, wookit him, so cute".
|
Ah! Life's little complications.
__________________
Pass the bacon.
|
|
|
09-03-2017, 10:42 PM
|
#14
|
#1 Goaltender
|
^ Pretty much.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jason14h
How did you go on a date with her but have no way to contact her?
|
Just at a non-familial wedding event, over two brief evenings. And I'm not cool enough to be a biker.
|
|
|
09-03-2017, 10:48 PM
|
#15
|
Franchise Player
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Vancouver
|
If it's from a wedding event I would just ask a mutual friend for their number. If you hit it off there should be nothing wrong with that. I've been on both ends of that and it was fine both ways.
__________________
|
|
|
09-03-2017, 11:00 PM
|
#16
|
Franchise Player
|
I think the flowers might be a bit much.
Couldn't you just find her on Facebook and send a message through there? I don't think it would be weird adding someone on FB after you met them at a mutual event.
|
|
|
The Following User Says Thank You to OutOfTheCube For This Useful Post:
|
|
09-03-2017, 11:06 PM
|
#17
|
Norm!
|
So she didn't make an effort before she drove away to get your contact information or anything like that?
Did she tell you that she had a good time, did you part with a kiss? a hug? a hearty handshake? A exploding knuckle punch?
And a week has passed on a first date with no contact?
Chances are you're going to send flowers and she's going to say "Who?" unless it was truly memorable date wise.
The bottom line, you have nothing to lose by sending flowers and a nice thoughtful well written note. Not just a "I had a great time, plow you later".
The best thing that can happen is another date. date two of the legendary third date. The worst thing, being served a restraining order at work and taking a beatdown from her older socially frustrated brother former multi-time world heavy weight champion and icon for the angry generation Mike Tyson.
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
|
|
|
The Following User Says Thank You to CaptainCrunch For This Useful Post:
|
|
09-03-2017, 11:08 PM
|
#18
|
Norm!
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by OutOfTheCube
I think the flowers might be a bit much.
Couldn't you just find her on Facebook and send a message through there? I don't think it would be weird adding someone on FB after you met them at a mutual event.
|
Not to say ugh, but sending a facebook message? Can you put in any less of an effort.
Sometimes you have to work at romance and go above and beyond and do something with a personal touch that really shows your interested.
There's something to be said about a personal hand written note and sending flowers or doing something thoughtful and unique.
Romance is supposed to be fun and requires creativity, its not a factory job.
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
|
|
|
The Following 3 Users Say Thank You to CaptainCrunch For This Useful Post:
|
|
09-03-2017, 11:10 PM
|
#19
|
#1 Goaltender
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by OutOfTheCube
I think the flowers might be a bit much.
Couldn't you just find her on Facebook and send a message through there? I don't think it would be weird adding someone on FB after you met them at a mutual event.
|
Try to read this least creepily as possible, but if I could have found her online that would definitely be my first choice.
|
|
|
09-04-2017, 12:09 AM
|
#20
|
Franchise Player
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Somewhere down the crazy river.
|
But, you must know somebody that she knows from the wedding. She was either invited by the groom or bride. Bring it up with one of them, and see if they can arrange something that would get you guys in the same room again. Or just ask to pass along your number / contact info to her because you liked her. Or put in a request for her contact info. That is, ask a mutual friend to ask her if you can get her number or something.
|
|
|
Posting Rules
|
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts
HTML code is Off
|
|
|
All times are GMT -6. The time now is 12:43 AM.
|
|