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Old 08-14-2017, 01:25 PM   #21
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Hockey Ninja. Just checking in on how you're doing. Even if you're not in the mood to post, can you just drop a note that you're OK
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Old 08-14-2017, 05:46 PM   #22
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Hockey Ninja. Just checking in on how you're doing. Even if you're not in the mood to post, can you just drop a note that you're OK
I'm alive. I'm doing better than I was yesterday, but still not great. Even though I experience happiness in my day at work I still feel the pain
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Old 08-14-2017, 09:29 PM   #23
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Go to the ER and tell them what you're going through, especially if you have suicidal thoughts or thoughts of self harm. They will help you get the right kind of help and it sounds like you need it sooner rather than later. If they feel counselling is needed, they will refer you to a program that guarantees you will see a psychiatrist within 2 weeks (AHS covers psychiatrist services). If it is bad enough, they may recommend you check yourself in for in patient psychiatric services.
This is what I did (it was actually recommended to me by the screener for NW Psychiatric services) because the wait for a psychiatrist if referred by your family doc can take months. I went to the ER, explained what was going on, talked with one of the doctors and was referred to Adult Psychiatric Services at Foothills. I saw a psychiatrist within two weeks for my screening and went for sessions for that.
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Old 08-15-2017, 06:36 AM   #24
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In my experience, mental health has to come from within, the human condition is extraordinarily complex, it's kind of absurd to think that a stranger will evaluate someone at what amounts to a snapshot in their life and be able to give them what they need to turn things around. Putting your mental health into someone elses hands is playing roullette with your most valuable resource.

Happiness is largely centered on our personal relationships and our ability to create positive change in our lives. Step one in a mental health journey should always be to eat healthy and be fit, a healthy body is required for a healthy mind and positive results can be had within months, which is relatively quick and gives you momentum going ahead. Mental health isn't a switch that can be flicked on, its a long arduous process that requires a great deal of self education and reflection. It's a fine line to walk, you have to be hard enough on yourself to recognize your faults and where you can change, while still loving yourself enough to believe you are worth the effort and can do it.
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Old 08-15-2017, 07:09 AM   #25
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^
That's a horrible take.

Mental health professionals have tools they can teach you, but they need to know your specific situation. It's not something you can pick up off Google and sort out yourself. Telling someone they need to be healthy physically, and mental health will follow is baffling. Maybe they can't do those things because of their mental state?
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Old 08-15-2017, 07:13 AM   #26
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Putting your mental health into someone elses hands is playing roullette with your most valuable resource.
I would think listening to "sound" advice like this would be worse than seeking professional help.
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Old 08-15-2017, 08:04 AM   #27
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Hockey Ninja

Do make sure you put yourself first in these times where you aren't feeling well. Making sure your okay first helps you help others when needed.

I agree with posters on here that checking in with us is important.

This forum has helped allot of folks through tough times and for what I have witnessed our community here is genuinely concerned and allot of people are willing to help in any way possible.

Have an awesome day and please keep us updated.
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Old 08-15-2017, 08:28 AM   #28
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^
That's a horrible take.

Mental health professionals have tools they can teach you, but they need to know your specific situation. It's not something you can pick up off Google and sort out yourself. Telling someone they need to be healthy physically, and mental health will follow is baffling. Maybe they can't do those things because of their mental state?
At what point did I say it would be easy or that being healthy would be all it takes? Searching for happiness and contentment while having poor physical health is working up hill. Improving Physical health isn't hard and if someone is serious about turning things around, it is the best place to start.

No one can fix you but yourself, no one will understand you as well as you understand yourself, you can get yourself together better than anyone else can and then you'll always have that skill in your toolbox. By all means, look for help where you can get it, but at the end of the day it is always going to be on the individual to manage themselves. No pill will fix you, no doctor will fix you, it is up to you to find good sources and then make them work for you.

I've had to find my own way because every experience with a mental health professional was useless, it was an expensive hassle and all I got was obvious advice. I've found that focusing on physical health, self education and understanding to be vastly more fruitful.

Last edited by Matata; 08-15-2017 at 08:31 AM.
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Old 08-15-2017, 08:36 AM   #29
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At what point did I say it would be easy or that being healthy would be all it takes? Searching for happiness and contentment while having poor physical health is working up hill. Improving Physical health isn't hard and if someone is serious about turning things around, it is the best place to start.

No one can fix you but yourself, no one will understand you as well as you understand yourself, you can get yourself together better than anyone else can and then you'll always have that skill in your toolbox. By all means, look for help where you can get it, but at the end of the day it is always going to be on the individual to manage themselves. No pill will fix you, no doctor will fix you, it is up to you to find good sources and then make them work for you.

I've had to find my own way because every experience with a mental health professional was useless, it was an expensive hassle and all I got was obvious advice. I've found that focusing on physical health, self education and understanding to be vastly more fruitful.
Counter point: A properly prescribed pill can help you, doctors can help you, it is not only up to you to find good sources and then make them work for you. You are not an island.
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Old 08-15-2017, 08:44 AM   #30
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Matata, please stop trying to give advice, you are going to do more harm than good.

Did whatever you do work for you? Fine. But that's not the case for most people. Unless you can provide some scientific evidence that your method is better than what the professionals can offer after years of research, I strongly suggest you stop telling people not to seek professional help. They may just take your advice.
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Old 08-15-2017, 09:07 AM   #31
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No one can fix you but yourself, no one will understand you as well as you understand yourself, you can get yourself together better than anyone else can and then you'll always have that skill in your toolbox. By all means, look for help where you can get it, but at the end of the day it is always going to be on the individual to manage themselves. No pill will fix you, no doctor will fix you, it is up to you to find good sources and then make them work for you.
Look, I get that some treatments will work better for some people than others. But just apply everything you just said to cancer, and understand how utterly ridiculous you sound. Health issues that arise from issues with brain chemistry are no less biologically rooted than tumors are, and in serious cases, just about as unpleasant to live with and just about as life-threatening if untreated.

That said, I do agree with you that for most people, regular exercise helps.
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Old 08-15-2017, 09:18 AM   #32
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Some good resources mentioned already, including distress centre and professionals.

I'm not sure if this might help you, but IMO quitting Facebook and Instagram and whatever other social media you use for a a few days can help let things quiet down in your mind without constant bombardment from external means. You can always pretend someone bet you $20 to do it or something.

People sometimes don't realize how being available almost all the time tires them out and puts weight on their shoulders. I am not saying cut off all communication. Text, phone call, messenger etc. are better direct options rather than social media.

Good luck man. I hope things work out for you.
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Old 08-15-2017, 09:25 AM   #33
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"In my experience"

Please elaborate on your experience and then we can decide to take you seriously or not.
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Old 08-15-2017, 09:34 AM   #34
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"In my experience" Please elaborate on your experience and then we can decide to take you seriously or not.
Yeah, no. At no point should anyone be required to out themselves or talk about what they've dealt with unless they're comfortable doing so. Certainly not in an area as difficult as this one and certainly not on an internet forum.
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Old 08-15-2017, 09:53 AM   #35
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Originally Posted by Matata View Post
At what point did I say it would be easy or that being healthy would be all it takes? Searching for happiness and contentment while having poor physical health is working up hill. Improving Physical health isn't hard and if someone is serious about turning things around, it is the best place to start.

No one can fix you but yourself, no one will understand you as well as you understand yourself, you can get yourself together better than anyone else can and then you'll always have that skill in your toolbox. By all means, look for help where you can get it, but at the end of the day it is always going to be on the individual to manage themselves. No pill will fix you, no doctor will fix you, it is up to you to find good sources and then make them work for you.

I've had to find my own way because every experience with a mental health professional was useless, it was an expensive hassle and all I got was obvious advice. I've found that focusing on physical health, self education and understanding to be vastly more fruitful.
Yeah, I think this is terrible, trite advice. While exercise undoubtedly helps most mental health conditions, "improving physical health" is tremendously difficult for most people let alone people suffering in depression or other mental states that affect one's motivation.

Seeking help in and of itself is the most important way out from my experiences. Make a decision that you will find someone who can help you. This requires both an acceptance of the problem and a willingness to share it with another. You also have to get past the idea that you can "do it yourself" or "it will just get better on its own, in time". This is why I think the advice from Mutata is absolutely terrible. Get the help.

I suffered from various major mental health problems for years, but when I realized I really needed help, I waited in Sheldon Chumir's emergency room until they set me up with the counselors upstairs. You speak to a counselor for three weeks in a row, and then you see a psychiatrist there. After the psychiatrist sees you they can set you up with further counselling or another psychiatrist, or whatever it is they think you need.

Also - pharmaceuticals really, really help with depression. People speak negatively of them a lot, but they really do work when needed if you have someone who will help you find the right ones. I tried many before I found my current treatment plan, but things have improved dramatically in my life since then.

Feel free to PM me Hockey-Ninja if you want to speak to someone who has definitely been there.
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Old 11-29-2019, 07:10 PM   #36
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I need some help. Our twenty-year-old is suffering from depression. He has had no success with medication so far and hasn’t found a therapist that works for him. I feel like he is looking for a silver bullet and is increasingly despondent about it. We talk to him about the importance of sleep, food, hydration and exercise but he can’t break out of his funk to focus on any of those. We keep reminding him but are wary of going too far and him tuning us out altogether.

I feel like we need to find the right person or support to get him turned around but also to help us figure out how we can help more effectively. Obviously we can’t be in his sessions but I’m wondering if family counselling would also help. I feel helpless on the sidelines but don’t want to overstep either.

Has anyone else dealt with this?
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Old 11-29-2019, 07:21 PM   #37
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Never give up on finding the right therapist. It has to be one your son feels comfortable talking with and more importantly that he feels safe in talking too. Sometimes you'll get a situation where the patient feels the therapist doesn't understand what their dealing with and the patient gets very frustrated with the whole situation. Been through both of the above situations

Medication is different for everyone due to all the side effects. I can remember trying 12 different types before I found the right one that worked for me.

Maybe you and your wife should explore counselling for both of you. It would help you to understand what your son/daughter is dealing with and how best to help, without causing him/her to tune you out.
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Old 11-29-2019, 09:22 PM   #38
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Finding the right doctor is a start. Need someone who can help him get the right medication and dosage. As Dion says people often try several before one works and doesn’t have too many terrible side effects.

Therapist is tougher. There’s different types of therapy methods. CBT and DBT being common. Different education designations, MC, MSW, RSW etc. More education and experience usually means higher cost. Upwards of $200/hr. He may respond better to a male or female, someone older or younger. More spiritual or solution focused.

On thing you’ve got right is not forcing him thru it but also being supportive. It’s a fine line.

You’re also correct that there’s no magic bullet. He needs to buy into it. Therapists nowadays tend to focus on setting and achieving goals. It’s not like on TV where the therapist let’s them talk about their family on and on then all of a sudden there’s a revelation about their childhood and boom the person is cured. That’s not to say they don’t try and uncover underlying causes but don’t tend to dwell there. He’s definitely going to have a hard time if he’s not willing (or able) to put in an equal amount of work at and away from his sessions. And you want to support him without constantly having to hold him accountable. That’s probably best left to himself and his therapist.

Good luck.

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Old 11-29-2019, 09:34 PM   #39
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Old 11-29-2019, 09:40 PM   #40
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The absolute best thing for your son, imo, would be to get into the South Health Calgary Campus (new Calgary Hospital). Unfortunately, which hospital someone goes to after a recommendation from a GP is mostly up to your location and Calgary South Health Campus is known to be a cut above.

If you want more detailed info feel free to PM me as myself and another family member have been through this process. Basically you need to start at the GP level with an official recommendation from a doctor. Then you wait.....usually weeks to a couple months, then you go for an evaluation, orientation and then one on one treatment of illness (depression being one of them).

edit: without any info on your son, Edslunch, the biggest advice I can give is do not treat depression as a fad or standard teenager issue (It doesn't seem you are, as you've attempted therapy). Treat it as a potential mental illness and if it turns out not to be then great. If it is (and it often is) and it isn't diagnosed and treated properly that's where things can go south in a hurry.

Calgary South is excellent at diagnosing and understanding the difference between hard times and mental illness and working through it with patients. The biggest problem with treating depression is therapy and treatment ranges from "absolute ****" to "life changing" depending on where you get sent, and Calgary South Health Campus falls firmly in the latter category.

Last edited by jayswin; 11-29-2019 at 09:50 PM.
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