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Old 05-24-2017, 03:20 PM   #41
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I really only feel sympathy for the families who lost a member. No going back after that.

The "innocents" at Superstore who saw it didn't lose anything. You saw someone die, well yea that sucks. But you get over it. You'll watch your parents die one day too in their hospital bed; it's a part of life.
Is this serious? The witness went to superstore Sunday night to get groceries, these two guys supposedly went to by drugs.

Give your head a shake while the rest of us hope for a reset.
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Old 05-24-2017, 04:12 PM   #42
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I really only feel sympathy for the families who lost a member. No going back after that.

The "innocents" at Superstore who saw it didn't lose anything. You saw someone die, well yea that sucks. But you get over it. You'll watch your parents die one day too in their hospital bed; it's a part of life.
Asinine comment. Beyond asinine, and also pretty good evidence you have never witnessed a violent death. Even though I am sure you will concoct some BS story that you have now to back up your claim.

I have stood bedside with a sibling as the life signs peacefully faded away to zero.

I have also witnessed a stranger be violently decapitated on a motorcycle.

One gives me nightmares, one does not. Take a guess which.

Soldiers, law enforcement personnel, and first responders spend lifetimes shedding demons after witnessing people being killed under violent circumstances. And they sign up being prepared for those scenarios. Some random guy that punches a clock at a 9-5 office job, or a stay at home mom, is not prepared for that type of trauma.
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Old 05-24-2017, 04:19 PM   #43
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Asinine comment. Beyond asinine, and also pretty good evidence you have never witnessed a violent death. Even though I am sure you will concoct some BS story that you have now to back up your claim.

I have stood bedside with a sibling as the life signs peacefully faded away to zero.

I have also witnessed a stranger be violently decapitated on a motorcycle.

One gives me nightmares, one does not. Take a guess which.

Soldiers, law enforcement personnel, and first responders spend lifetimes shedding demons after witnessing people being killed under violent circumstances. And they sign up being prepared for those scenarios. Some random guy that punches a clock at a 9-5 office job, or a stay at home mom, is not prepared for that type of trauma.
Maybe your story is BS?

I have seen both. In fact my story is basically identical to yours wherein I saw a motorcyclist almost decapitate himself. It was a bloody mangled mess and I witnessed him die since my sister and I rushed out to try at least perform CPR.

I've also witnessed war (Bosnia in 95). I didn't witness the front line, but the immediate aftermath.

I'm sorry but witnessing a violent act is not equivalent to losing a family member to a violent act. Excuse me if I don't the same sympathy for both the grieving family and the innocent bystander.



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Old 05-24-2017, 04:24 PM   #44
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How is what you said showing sympathy to the innocent bystanders?
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You saw someone die, well yea that sucks. But you get over it.
Jeeze. Do you not believe in PTSD? Think all the soldiers are just making that #### up and should have gotten over it?
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Old 05-24-2017, 04:33 PM   #45
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Maybe your story is BS?

I have seen both. In fact my story is basically identical to yours wherein I saw a motorcyclist almost decapitate himself. It was a bloody mangled mess and I witnessed him die since my sister and I rushed out to try at least perform CPR.

I've also witnessed war (Bosnia in 95). I didn't witness the front line, but the immediate aftermath.

I'm sorry but witnessing a violent act is not equivalent to losing a family member to a violent act. Excuse me if I don't the same sympathy for both the grieving family and the innocent bystander.



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If you are so unmoved by death and violence, good for you. Kind a sounds a little bit like sociopath tendencies to me. But what do I know, I'm not a psychologist.

However, don't expect the general public, and also hardened war veterans to have the same 100 yard stare, and tough as nails mental faculties that you have.

You should totally become a mercenary or special ops dude.... Is that what you tell your teammates you are in COD matchmaking lounge?
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Old 05-24-2017, 06:45 PM   #46
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If you are so unmoved by death and violence, good for you. Kind a sounds a little bit like sociopath tendencies to me. But what do I know, I'm not a psychologist.

However, don't expect the general public, and also hardened war veterans to have the same 100 yard stare, and tough as nails mental faculties that you have.

You should totally become a mercenary or special ops dude.... Is that what you tell your teammates you are in COD matchmaking lounge?
So what you guys are saying is that everybody reacts differently to stressful situations. Thanks for clearing that up.
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Old 05-24-2017, 06:50 PM   #47
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my dad can beat up your anecdote about death.
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Old 05-24-2017, 10:03 PM   #48
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I knew the brother of one of the victims, went to school with him. He commited suicide about a year ago. I didn't know the victim and while I'm sure he was no angel, their mother is distraught and has lost two sons in less than a year. A little sympathy for the loved ones please, although he wasn't an angel it doesn't mean he didn't have people who cared for and are grieving his death.
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Old 05-25-2017, 07:45 AM   #49
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I knew the brother of one of the victims, went to school with him. He commited suicide about a year ago. I didn't know the victim and while I'm sure he was no angel, their mother is distraught and has lost two sons in less than a year. A little sympathy for the loved ones please, although he wasn't an angel it doesn't mean he didn't have people who cared for and are grieving his death.
http://www.metronews.ca/news/calgary...econd-son.html
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Old 05-25-2017, 07:50 AM   #50
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There have been a lot of bad posts in this thread, in a short amount of time.
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Old 05-25-2017, 09:59 AM   #51
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Old 05-25-2017, 11:02 AM   #52
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If you are so unmoved by death and violence, good for you. Kind a sounds a little bit like sociopath tendencies to me.
That's a bit strong. There are places in the world (and in our own society a century or two ago) where witnessing dead bodies and violent death isn't uncommon. I doubt everyone in those societies is traumatized or a sociopath.

We live in remarkably safe and placid times. So yeah, when we do witness death or violence it tends to shake us a lot more than it did our great-grandparents. But not everyone reacts that way.
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Old 05-25-2017, 11:12 AM   #53
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If you are so unmoved by death and violence, good for you. Kind a sounds a little bit like sociopath tendencies to me. But what do I know, I'm not a psychologist.

However, don't expect the general public, and also hardened war veterans to have the same 100 yard stare, and tough as nails mental faculties that you have.

You should totally become a mercenary or special ops dude.... Is that what you tell your teammates you are in COD matchmaking lounge?

I was shaken to see a man slam into a car and die, but I moved on. I wasn't seeking any sympathy for myself for witnessing the horrific event, nor do I deserved anyone's sympathy. The sympathy was with his family and friends, which is where it should be.

If I witnessed the murder of those two young men, I would firstly have been scared for my own safety. But after the situation became safe, I wouldn't be seeking the sympathy of the internet or others for what I witnessed. I'd be sympathetic to the boys' families.

Maybe you and others are different. That's fine. My feelings aren't asinine like you said earlier.

Pathetic attempt at a smart ass post though.
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Old 05-25-2017, 11:20 AM   #54
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Maybe you and others are different. That's fine. My feelings aren't asinine like you said earlier.
Yes your post and feelings were asinine. To suggest all the witnesses would just "get over it" is asinine when you don't know what they're going through. Maybe some will, maybe some will end up with deliberating mental images because of what they saw.

As Pylon mentioned, people trained in dealing with these situations often end up with mental health issues simply for witnessing the aftermath. I'd dare you to suggest to Ken Barker's family that he should have just "got over it" after he killed himself due to PTSD from witnessing crimes like this.
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Old 05-25-2017, 12:20 PM   #55
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I was shaken to see a man slam into a car and die, but I moved on. I wasn't seeking any sympathy for myself for witnessing the horrific event, nor do I deserved anyone's sympathy. The sympathy was with his family and friends, which is where it should be.

If I witnessed the murder of those two young men, I would firstly have been scared for my own safety. But after the situation became safe, I wouldn't be seeking the sympathy of the internet or others for what I witnessed. I'd be sympathetic to the boys' families.

Maybe you and others are different. That's fine. My feelings aren't asinine like you said earlier.

Pathetic attempt at a smart ass post though.
Or your suffering from PTSD and your reaction that everyone should just suck it is due to you not wanting to acknowledge the pain you feel. #internetpsycologist

Either way empathy is a pretty easy default stance.
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Old 05-25-2017, 12:34 PM   #56
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What does it matter what people on an online message board have to say about anything? Sympathies expressed here are of no benefit to the people involved. In the time it takes me to make this post, a tremendous amount of people will have died violent deaths all around the world, no one here is shedding any tears for them. Why should I express empathy just because two violent deaths have been brought to my attention?
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Old 05-25-2017, 12:40 PM   #57
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What does it matter what people on an online message board have to say about anything? Sympathies expressed here are of no benefit to the people involved. In the time it takes me to make this post, a tremendous amount of people will have died violent deaths all around the world, no one here is shedding any tears for them. Why should I express empathy just because two violent deaths have been brought to my attention?
I think you're misunderstanding what was taken issue with. Not expressing anything for the family of victims is fine. Like you said, we don't express sympathy or empathy for thousands of people every day that die without thought or comment from any of us.

The comments were made to people who went out of their way to say that the families shouldn't be commenting on their kids' deaths or that their comments should be more realistic.
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Old 05-25-2017, 12:47 PM   #58
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I was shaken to see a man slam into a car and die, but I moved on. I wasn't seeking any sympathy for myself for witnessing the horrific event, nor do I deserved anyone's sympathy. The sympathy was with his family and friends, which is where it should be.

If I witnessed the murder of those two young men, I would firstly have been scared for my own safety. But after the situation became safe, I wouldn't be seeking the sympathy of the internet or others for what I witnessed. I'd be sympathetic to the boys' families.

Maybe you and others are different. That's fine. My feelings aren't asinine like you said earlier.

Pathetic attempt at a smart ass post though.
Your original post dealt in absolutes. You basically said that "If you can't get over it, you suck at life, because I can, and therefore so should you be able to."

That's not how human psyche works. You cannot paint with brushes that wide. Every brain processes trauma differently. And although you have seen and experienced some sucky things that many people likely haven't, you still have try to step back and and have some empathy.

If someone is crying about a dent in their car, or some other mundane BS, yes, I get it to an extent. If you have been hardened by a less than ideal life, I can see that. However, watching someone being murdered is not a mundane, normal event.

A someone else alluded to, I would love to hear you give your little speech to Ken Barkers family and friends expecting them to understand he should have just "Got over it..... that wus." Or the thousands of others that died at their own hand due to severe PTSD.
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Old 05-25-2017, 12:55 PM   #59
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I can't remember the thread, but a few years ago didn't the spouse/family member of a recently deceased individual come to the forum because they searched for their name. I think it was about being hit by a C-Train. They read the terrible things being said about their relative and felt obligated to clear up some of the things people were saying.

CalgaryPuck has huge SEO (Search Engine Optimization) juice. Search for anything we've discussed on here and CP will likely rank very high on Google.

I know when I've had a relative pass away under normal circumstances I search their name to see if anyone else is discussing them. Under circumstances like this, friends and family will definitely be searching to find out more information about what's going on. Finding out a bunch of strangers are talking about them like this isn't helpful to their recovery. No one on here knows those guys or their family so making public judgements or talking crap about them does nothing but make the entire situation worse.
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Old 05-25-2017, 01:00 PM   #60
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I can't remember the thread, but a few years ago didn't the spouse/family member of a recently deceased individual come to the forum because they searched for their name. I think it was about being hit by a C-Train. They read the terrible things being said about their relative and felt obligated to clear up some of the things people were saying.

CalgaryPuck has huge SEO (Search Engine Optimization) juice. Search for anything we've discussed on here and CP will likely rank very high on Google.

I know when I've had a relative pass away under normal circumstances I search their name to see if anyone else is discussing them. Under circumstances like this, friends and family will definitely be searching to find out more information about what's going on. Finding out a bunch of strangers are talking about them like this isn't helpful to their recovery. No one on here knows those guys or their family so making public judgements or talking crap about them does nothing but make the entire situation worse.
Yep, I ****ed up big time in that thread, that's part of why I responded the way I did to Slava and others in this thread.

I was posting about how it was obviously suicide, listing the reasons and saying it was pretty absurd to argue otherwise. Problem is, it was the guy's son or someone like that, who it turns out was trying to rationalize that it wasn't suicide because their beliefs didn't allow for suicide as admission to heaven or something.

So basically telling a young son of a suicide victim "No, you're wrong, this is what happened". I reflected on that a lot, it really stuck with me.
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