-Lord of the Rings should be renamed "Sleeping pill". Have yet to stay awake watching any of the films outside the second Hobbit movie I was dragged to by a friend.
-I fell asleep watching Pulp Fiction to. Have no desire to go back to it.
-Space Jam is a good movie
-Batman Begins is the best Nolan Batman film
-Disney has gotten stale. Nothing from them has wowed me in years. The last Disney movie I enjoyed was The Princess and the Frog and that wasn't even anything special.
Cecily Strong: Alright. Okay, so, Jebidiah, have you seen all of this year's Best Picture nominees?
Jebidiah Atkinson: Of course! I have been witness to every motion picture since the dawn of cinema... and I'm not impressed!
Cecily Strong: Okay, look, I know you're known as a harsh critic, but I'd be surprised if you didn't enjoy at least a few of this year's nominees.
Jebidiah Atkinson: Would you...? [ he shoots Cecily a dirty look ] Well, I assure you, Cecily, I've watched each nominated film closely, and I think you'll find my reviews to be considered and completely balanced. [ reading ] "This year's 9 Best Picture nominees are the WORST movies ever made!!
"Her": "Guess who was bored by this movie? HIM!! [ he points to himself ] Even the main character spent the whole movie texting. [ he holds a dirty look to the audience ]
"Dallas Buyers Club"! "Sell. The only thing thinner than Matthew McConaughey is the plot."
And don't get me started on "Gravity"! "If I wanted to watch a depressed middle-aged woman float around for 90 minutes, I'd go to the YMCA pool!"
Cecily Strong: Alright, okay, hold on. Did you like any of the Best Picture nominees?
Jebidiah Atkinson: I haven't liked ANY Best Picture nominees EVER!! It's been 86 years of insufferable DREK!! And I've reviewed it all!
"The Godfather": "This film left me thinking one thing: I wish I was that horse." Next!
"Citizen Kane": "If you're in the mood for a terrible movie about a sled, let me recommend "Cool Runnings"! At least THAT'S in COLOR!! Next! [ he flips his card, which lands on his held stack ] Couldn't do that again if I tried! So enjoy it! Live television!
"Gone With the Wind":" More like 'Gone with my ten cents.'"
Cecily Strong: Ten cents?
Jebidiah Atkinson: I do not adjust for inflation! Next!
"Annie Hall": "I'd rather let Woody Allen watch my kids than watch this movie again!" [ the audience groans ] So let me get this straight, You all trust him?!
Cecily Strong: Alright, how about a more contemporary nominee, like "The Shawshank Redemption"?
Jebidiah Atkinson: Ugh! "I'll only feel some redemption when there's a Saturday afternoon when this claptrap isn't on cable! Even the theatrical release of "The Shawshank Redemption" had a TNT logo in the corner." Next!
"Schindler's List": "You know what wasn't on Schindler's list? An editor." Next!
Oh, and now we come to the WORST Best PIcture winner of all time: "Forrest Gump". I prboably shouldn't do this one, since the audience got their BITCH-ON with that Woody Allen joke.
Cecily Strong: You probably shouldn't...
Jebidiah Atkinson: I'm going to do it! "You know which character in "Forrest Gump" I envy? Lieutenant Dan's legs. Because they got to leave early! And that's all I have to say about that!"
Independence Day is an amazing movie and I am genuinely disappointed that Will Smith is not coming back for the sequel.
I wanted to like that one as some of it was really good, the whole "rah rah U.S.A" killed it for me. When they figured out the weak spot of the alien ships and then someone from another country remarked; "It's about time the Americans figured this out"... and then the president hopping in a jet and fighting. It was just too much to stomach.
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"A pessimist thinks things can't get any worse. An optimist knows they can."
I really don't get how this wasn't liked more. I thought it was awesome.
Anyway, I have said a few times on here that Anchorman 2 is just about the worst movie of all time. And I will always take Rotten Tomatoes with a grain of salt because of the 75% it received. Whenever a decent movie gets a less than great RT score, I bring up the Anchorman 2 score and laugh (which is one laugh more than the movie produced).
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The Dark Knight Rises is a terrible movie, one of the worst comic book blockbusters of the last decade
Ryan Gosling can't act and can only get jobs because he's a pretty face. I avoid anything that he's in now
Snowpiercer wasn't edgy or unique or special, it was just dumb
The Mad Max trilogy is looked at with too much nostalgia, it hasn't aged well at all and is painful to sit through to watch today
Adam Sandler movies are generally good for a laugh, I like his sense of humor. Grown Ups and the one with Jennifer Aniston are the last two I've seen of him
Will Ferrell has one character he slightly tweaks in every movie, but he's always funny. Step Brothers is a classic movie
Leo DiCaprio will be remembered as the best actor of all time. I don't know if this is unpopular but him and Gregory Peck probably top my list. Also Tom Hanks, I don't think anyone can say anything bad about him
I don't get the appeal of mindless action movies like Fast and Furious or Transformers
Daniel Craig is the best Bond. I think my opinion isn't really valid here though since I had to watch the Sean Connery movies way after they were watchable. I've seen every Bond film, and they have all aged pretty poorly. Bronson had the best Bond look, but his movies hurt to watch
I love them, but I have to say the original starwars are just as bad as the new starwars. people just have nostalgia and rate it higher. Same with new Indiana jones movie, it is comparable to the old ones, just people think the old ones were so good.
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It is the mark of an educated mind to be able to entertain a thought without accepting it.
- Aristotle
The Social Network is the best move of the last 10 years.
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Well, it was a pretty popular film and almost universally loved by critics, so maybe a lot of people would agree with you. I personally thought it was David Fincher's weakest (and I am a fan of his). The story is about events that just aren't interesting to me and are too recent.
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"A pessimist thinks things can't get any worse. An optimist knows they can."
Last edited by FlamesAddiction; 04-08-2015 at 01:26 PM.
Wes Anderson movies are absolute trash. All of them.
The Lord of the Rings movies are pretty bad but you can chalk that up to me hating fantasy, elf, monster crap that actually takes itself seriously (unlike the lighter hearted Harry Potter stories for example), However, the first one is also absolute trash. NOTHING HAPPENS FOR 3 HOURS. #### YOU PETER JACKSON.
Battlefield: LA was a horribly under rated war movie. It was awesome how they were able to make an alien invasion movie seem somewhat realistic.
Channing Tatum is an awesome, likeable actor. He's the new Will Smith.
Imitation Game was terrible and this is coming from someone who was super excited to see it. It tried to tell 3 different stories, none of which were told in an interesting manner. Does having someone be weird and gay in a movie automatically get you nominated for awards these days?
The original Matrix is better than all other Sci-Fi movies and had the writers not been complete one hit wonders, the Matrix trilogy could have been better than Star Wars.
I came looking for the Matrix hate. Reloaded doesn't belong in the conversation with Revolutions. Half the reason everyone hates the last Matrix movie is because Reloaded was awesome.
The Matrix built an incredible world. Reloaded asked how much fun you could have in that world, and delivered. The first hour is kinda slow, but from the burly brawl onward that movie takes off.
In half an hour, you get:
The Merovingian
Persephone
Chateau fight
Morpheus vs the Twins
The best chase ever captured on film
Morpheus fights an agent on top of a semi
The whole sequence ends with a head on collision and Neo saving them at the last second.
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frameborder="0" allowfullscreen="1">YouTube Video
Everything in that sequence of events makes sense from a story perspective and it's just so much damn fun. You have to view the Matrix Reloaded for what it truly is: a live-action anime. It's great at that.
It's different than the Matrix. And it's not as good a film. But it's a hundred times more fun. The sequence above alone is worth the price of admission.
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Mom and Dad love you, Rowan - February 15, 2024
