Edmonton woman pays thousands for a date and ends up with toothless homeless man

[Coys1882]

Originally Posted by calgaryblood

feel free to open up a dating company where you have to refund the money of everyone who isn't happy. Im sure you'll do great.

lol

[Peanut]

Originally Posted by Erick Estrada

Is this true? Certainly not for me as I have no inferiority complexes that would dictate my woman having to be shorter than me. Tall women come with nice long legs. If I was single I would have absolutely no issue with that. In fact that would be a bonus.

I'm sure it's not true for you EE. You're an ideal individual in virtually every way.

[ThisIsAnOutrage]

I think this is just sad story all around. Seems like a woman with more money to spend (I hope) than opportunities to meet someone turned to a match-making company for help and didn't even come close to finding a man she was interested in. Doesn't seem like the man in the story who met with her fared any better in the end either.

The harsh reality is that, at a certain point, anyone who is single for too long and still looking starts to view the rest of the dating pool as "what's left" without realizing that "what's left" includes them too and then they refuse to compromise, adjust their standards, or (God forbid) work on their own flaws, accordingly. I see a lot of that here.

[Eastern Girl]

I am starting to see why people feel lonely and isolated, or even suicidal, based on the perceptions of people in this thread.

Why is the only explanation for someone being unmarried past 30 that they are in some way a complete reject, either mentally or physically? Why can't it be that I don't want to marry or that I haven't met the one I would want to marry? It doesn't have to just be that you are "what's left," and therefore you should be happy to accept anything with a mild heart beat.

And for the record, just cause you are married, doesn't make you a prize either kiddo, or in some way better than us old unmarrieds. You can be single and a complete catch or married an a complete and utter loser. Let's just get that straight.

[pylon]

Originally Posted by Eastern Girl

I am starting to see why people feel lonely and isolated, or even suicidal, based on the perceptions of people in this thread.

Why is the only explanation for someone being unmarried past 30 that they are in some way a complete reject, either mentally or physically? Why can't it be that I don't want to marry or that I haven't met the one I would want to marry? It doesn't have to just be that you are "what's left," and therefore you should be happy to accept anything with a mild heart beat.

And for the record, just cause you are married, doesn't make you a prize either kiddo, or in some way better than us old unmarrieds. You can be single and a complete catch or married an a complete and utter loser. Let's just get that straight.

The whole "Single women over thirty are damaged goods." thing is something that belongs in the 40's and 50's. It's absolute horse crap. And anyone who thinks that's the case is mentally stunted. I would MUCH rather be with someone who has matured mentally, and has a real world view. I dated women in their early-mid 20's right through my 30's, and it answers the question, why am I unmarried at 42.

My current GF is 35, didn't want to get shoe-horned into the wife/family thing to pursue her business career, and her competitive snowboarding and mountain biking interests. And good on her, she pursued her dreams, took care of mind and body and is a better person for it. And that is why I am marrying her.

She certainly doesn't wear frumpy dresses, and she certainly doesn't live in a basement suite with 24 cats. Plus she looks a hell of a lot better than than most 28 year olds that have pushed out 4 rug rats. Half of her friends are in the same boat, and none of them are starving for dates.

It's a maturity thing. It's an immature view to have, and I had it for years. 'Gotta date young hot women!' I have grown to respect women that say.... wait a minute, "I wanna live on my own terms first, before locking into a relationship with some emotionally stunted, sub-30 dude bro I met at a night club." Because no matter what any guy thinks, you generally will suck at life until your mid 30's, and EVERYTHING you think you believe now, will change to something else.

[PsYcNeT]

Originally Posted by pylon

The whole "Single women over thirty are damaged goods." thing is something that belongs in the 40's and 50's. It's absolute horse crap. And anyone who thinks that's the case is mentally stunted. I would MUCH rather be with someone who has matured mentally, and has a real world view. I dated women in their early-mid 20's right through my 30's, and it answers the question, why am I unmarried at 42.

My current GF is 35, didn't want to get shoe-horned into the wife/family thing to pursue her business career, and her competitive snowboarding and mountain biking interests. And good on her, she pursued her dreams, took care of mind and body and is a better person for it. And that is why I am marrying her.

She certainly doesn't wear frumpy dresses, and she certainly doesn't live in a basement suite with 24 cats. Plus she looks a hell of a lot better than than most 28 year olds that have pushed out 4 rug rats. Half of her friends are in the same boat, and none of them are starving for dates.

It's a maturity thing. It's an immature view to have, and I had it for years. 'Gotta date young hot women!' I have grown to respect women that say.... wait a minute, "I wanna live on my own terms first, before locking into a relationship with some emotionally stunted, sub-30 dude bro I met at a night club." Because no matter what any guy thinks, you generally will suck at life until your mid 30's, and EVERYTHING you think you believe now, will change to something else.

It's 2017 man, you don't need to brag about having a girlfriend on the internet anymore.

[PepsiFree]

Originally Posted by PsYcNeT

It's 2017 man, you don't need to brag about having a girlfriend on the internet anymore.

She's hotter than those gross "childbearing" ones though!

[ThisIsAnOutrage]

Originally Posted by Eastern Girl

I am starting to see why people feel lonely and isolated, or even suicidal, based on the perceptions of people in this thread.

Why is the only explanation for someone being unmarried past 30 that they are in some way a complete reject, either mentally or physically? Why can't it be that I don't want to marry or that I haven't met the one I would want to marry? It doesn't have to just be that you are "what's left," and therefore you should be happy to accept anything with a mild heart beat.

And for the record, just cause you are married, doesn't make you a prize either kiddo, or in some way better than us old unmarrieds. You can be single and a complete catch or married an a complete and utter loser. Let's just get that straight.

Perhaps I can explain a little better:

First bolded (only explanation): Good point, there are many reasons why are people single at any age. My comment that "anyone who is single..." was overly broad. For clarity, I didn't mean it to be restricted to those over 30.

Second bolded (what's left): reads in a derogative light true, but it's not meant to be a descriptor of people who aren't paired up. It's meant to refer to a mindset (that I have seen on many occasions - maybe just my experiences) where a single person adopts an "all the good ones are taken" attitude and tends to look down on other single people because they don't appear to meet upfront expectations.

Introspection can be in order in these types of situations: Is the person avoiding/sabotaging a good opportunity because they are beholden to the idea of a "perfect partner?" (compromise), Is the person constantly chasing people who are unattainable or really out their league (adjusting standards), Is the person refusing to acknowledge that they may have to improve themselves or their own behaviour to have a better chance at finding and being with the one they want? (work on your own flaws). To relate back to the article, throwing money at a match-maker will not solve these issues for anyone.

Third Bold (just cause you are married, doesn't make you a prize): You didn't quote my post so I'm not sure if this was directed right at me, but to clarify, I ain't married, and I'm not a prize. I'm just a guy.

Fourth Bold (You can be single and complete catch...) - True

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Eastern Girl

I am starting to see why people feel lonely and isolated, or even suicidal, based on the perceptions of people in this thread.

Why is the only explanation for someone being unmarried past 30 that they are in some way a complete reject, either mentally or physically? Why can't it be that I don't want to marry or that I haven't met the one I would want to marry? It doesn't have to just be that you are "what's left," and therefore you should be happy to accept anything with a mild heart beat.

And for the record, just cause you are married, doesn't make you a prize either kiddo, or in some way better than us old unmarrieds. You can be single and a complete catch or married an a complete and utter loser. Let's just get that straight.

So I'm told. Every. Single. Day.

[pylon]

Originally Posted by PsYcNeT

It's 2017 man, you don't need to brag about having a girlfriend on the internet anymore.

Yes, that was the point. Because having a girlfriend is some sort of incredible accomplishment. Like only a select 99.5% of the male population has pulled of this incredible feat. Whew! Glad I'm not in that 0.5%!

[FlamesAddiction]

Originally Posted by Eastern Girl

I am starting to see why people feel lonely and isolated, or even suicidal, based on the perceptions of people in this thread.

Why is the only explanation for someone being unmarried past 30 that they are in some way a complete reject, either mentally or physically? Why can't it be that I don't want to marry or that I haven't met the one I would want to marry? It doesn't have to just be that you are "what's left," and therefore you should be happy to accept anything with a mild heart beat.

And for the record, just cause you are married, doesn't make you a prize either kiddo, or in some way better than us old unmarrieds. You can be single and a complete catch or married an a complete and utter loser. Let's just get that straight.

The number one reason most middle aged people aren't married is probably economic. We go broke getting an education and then get wrapped up in our careers to both justify and pay back the brutal debts. Before people realize it, they are pushing 40. I didn't get married until my 30s and had my kid when I was almost 40, so I can relate.

But it is a sad truth that the dating pool gets shallower when you get older. People marry, people die, women demographically outnumber men the older they get older (more competition for mates), younger women going for older men, and some people just like the single life. Heck, even meeting new friends as an adult is difficult because the older people get, they lose energy and become jaded.

[Peanut]

Originally Posted by PepsiFree

She's hotter than those gross "childbearing" ones though!

Lol, totally. So many slight (and not so slight) slams on the inherent value of women in this thread. Middle aged and overweight? You're lucky to be dating a homeless man, lady. And don't you dare get uppity about his appearance - you don't deserve to have standards, YOURE MIDDLE AGED AND OVERWEIGHT.

And then we veered into single women over 30 being desperate lonely cat ladies with low value in the dating "pool". For the grievous error of living and aging past age 30. And let's not forget that if you've borne a child you're not as valuable as someone who has not, because god forbid your body has changed a bit. And you have some extra responsibilities - worthless!!

Classic.

[pylon]

Originally Posted by FlamesAddiction

But it is a sad truth that the dating pool gets shallower when you get older. People marry, people die, women demographically outnumber men the older they get older (more competition for mates), and some people just like the single life. Heck, even meeting new friends as an adult is difficult because the older people get, they lose energy and become jaded.

And that is huge as well. As much as I enjoy being in a relationship, being single can be awesome too, and I spent 5ish years just doing my own thing. It was amazing answering to nobody, and doing anything at anytime. And nobody shuns you for it anymore, so the pressure of being tied down is becoming a thing of the past. If it ends up that is my path, I won't lose sleep over it either.

When I went through my 'I'm gonna be a bachelor for life!' phase in my mid-thirties, and literally had zero interest in any relationship higher on the scale than casual, my parents used to say 'Fancy cars, and motorcycles won't keep you warm at night.' While true, they sure as hell kept me occupied, and only created one emotion in me, and that was kid-like happiness. It was a pretty damn shallow emotional existence, but it was as simple as an amazing cheeseburger. Not super fulfilling, but things could have been a lot worse.

[FlamesAddiction]

It also doesn't help that work becomes people's lives in their 20s and 30s, and most companies discourage workplace relationships. If it's where you spend 80% of your waking hours, it really limits how you can meet people.

I say put condoms in workplace bathrooms!

[pylon]

Originally Posted by Peanut

Lol, totally. So many slight (and not so slight) slams on the inherent value of women in this thread. Middle aged and overweight? You're lucky to be dating a homeless man, lady. And don't you dare get uppity about his appearance - you don't deserve to have standards, YOURE MIDDLE AGED AND OVERWEIGHT.

And then we veered into single women over 30 being desperate lonely cat ladies with low value in the dating "pool". For the grievous error of living and aging past age 30. And let's not forget that if you've borne a child you're not as valuable as someone who has not, because god forbid your body has changed a bit. And you have some extra responsibilities - worthless!!

Classic.

Fair enough, that was a bad example. That wasn't the intent.

The point I was trying to make, is that a lot of men equate older women, as being less attractive. Nowadays there are women in their 50's that look better than women did in their 30's a few decades back. With or without kids. And the same goes fr men. Some people are taking incredibly good care of themselves now. Old doesn't mean haggard and worn out anymore for either sex.

[PsYcNeT]

Originally Posted by pylon

Yes, that was the point. Because having a girlfriend is some sort of incredible accomplishment. Like only a select 99.5% of the male population has pulled of this incredible feat. Whew! Glad I'm not in that 0.5%!

Http://www.reddit.com/r/incel

Oops apparently reddit finally banned them. Google incels i guess.

[FlamesAddiction]

A lot of guys had negative dating experiences in their 20s as well, where attractive girls in their age range and physically equal, looked right past them for more established guys with better jobs, nicer toys and better economic opportunities.

So when those guys get into their 30s and 40s and the realize the power reversal, they have a "what's good for the goose is good for the gander" attitude and exploit it to their benefit.

[pylon]

Originally Posted by PsYcNeT

Http://www.reddit.com/r/incel

Oops apparently reddit finally banned them. Google incels i guess.

I'm assuming these are the types of dudes that look up to Elliot Rodger as some sort of modern day hero?

[puckedoff]

Its great that old lady's can be hot and all, but I need heirs to my dynasty and I have better percentage chance of creating that with a fertile 20 yr old than a 35+ yr old.

[CorsiHockeyLeague]

Originally Posted by Peanut

And then we veered into single women over 30 being desperate lonely cat ladies with low value in the dating "pool". For the grievous error of living and aging past age 30. And let's not forget that if you've borne a child you're not as valuable as someone who has not, because god forbid your body has changed a bit. And you have some extra responsibilities - worthless!!

Classic.

I don't think people were suggesting that this was how it should be, just that it is the case. Women over 30, with kids, have a harder time in the dating scene as things go on. You can argue these factors shouldn't make a noticeable difference to one's dating prospects, that it's not fair or reasonable, but speaking generally, they do. That's just the reality. Height for guys operates much the same way. Should being 5'7" be a major impediment for a guy to get a date? Nope. But apparently it is, as recorded by a number of people earlier in the thread.

Although, in the case of kids, I don't think you can say it's somehow a reflection of poor character if a single guy with no kids isn't interested in dating a woman with kids. That's a matter of what you're looking for in life at the time. And if you're a single mom, well, guys who aren't at that point in their life where they want to start a relationship not only with a significant other but also a child are probably guys you don't want to be dating anyway. I personally don't see it as a deal breaker, but I can understand why it is for many.