What you won't be listening to - Albums that will never be made

[troutman]

Songs that will never be made:

Thought this was funny:

An Album From The Hold Steady Where No One Gets Wasted Or Shows Questionable Judgement

http://the-toast.net/2015/02/23/the-...no-one-wasted/

“The $20 We Just Found Will Be Used To Pay Down Some Credit Card Debt”

“Minnesota Provides An Excellent Backdrop For A Healthy, Well-Rounded Adolescence”

“I Remember It All So Clearly, The Time I Courted That Girl I Spent A Long Time Getting to Know First”

“Just Responsible Young Adults With Bright Futures, Not Taking Risks Or Abusing Substances In Public Places After Dark”

“There’s So Much To Do In This Town, Let’s Visit A Museum”

“No, Thanks, I’m The Designated Driver Tonight”

“I Got Over That Relationship Rather Quickly”

“That Girl Proved To Be Trustworthy”

. . .


I'm sure we can imagine some albums that other bands will never make. Have at it . . .

[troutman]

Songs From A Decemberists Album Where Nobody Gets Murdered


http://the-toast.net/2014/10/16/trac...berists-album/

“What A Successful Harvest This Was, Let’s Not Rape Anybody”

“The Sailor Who Died Of Old Age (Not Because Of A Weird Old-Age Curse Either, He Really Lived To A Naturally Old Age)”

“The Summer Nobody Died”

“This Lighthouse Isn’t Haunted”

“The Chimney That Wasn’t Stuffed With The Bodies Of Murdered Women”

“A List Of People Who Have Never Drowned”

“You Can Keep Your Heart Inside Your Own Body”

“Everyone In This Mining Camp Respects One Another’s Boundaries”

[troutman]

A Neil Young Album that will never be made:


"The Progressive Attitudes Of Southerners"

"I'm Not In Love With You Still, So I'm Dating A Much Younger Actress"

"The Human Ear Can't Distinguish High Resolution Sound In Double-Blind Testing"

"It Is Our Birthright To Exploit The Earth's Resources"

"We Were Right To Be Concerned About Weapons Of Mass Destruction"

"My Collaborative Partnership With Crosby, Stills & Nash"

"Driving Down The Pacific Coast Highway With My Internal Combustion Powered Vehicle"

"The Government Is Doing Enough To Help The Homeless"

"I Miss Winnipeg"

[CorsiHockeyLeague]

Originally Posted by troutman

“Everyone In This Mining Camp Respects One Another’s Boundaries”

Hahahaha.

[Puppet Guy]

I'm still waiting for an Enya-Slayer collaboration. Am I wasting my time?

[troutman]

A Bruce Springsteen album that will never be made:


"How I Achieved All Of My Adolescent Dreams"

"Employment Opportunities Are Encouraging"

"The Beautiful Girl From High School That Has No Regrets"

"No Sense In Dwelling On The Past"

"The Young Men That Spent The Weekend Collecting Cans And Bottles Along The Highway For Recycling"

"The Man That Lives In The Mansion Worked Harder Than The Rest Of Us"

"Baby, Don't Worry About The Attractive Vocalist In My Band"

"Organized Crime Is Not Prevalent in New Jersey"

[troutman]

A Rush album that will never be made:


"The Song With A 4/4 Time Signature"

"The Concert That Was Attended By An Equal Number Of Men And Women"

"This Is The Last Song To Describe An Adrenaline Surge"

"The Philosophy Of Rational Individualism Is Not As Insightful As First Believed"

"So Many Opportunities To Explore Creative Paths In Suburban Communities"

"A Future Utopian World Where Art Is Appreciated"

"The Sexy Women Who Entertained Us At The Gentleman's Club"

"Rapping Enhances Street Credibility"