Quote:
Originally Posted by shermanator
Okay so I'm finally getting around to getting counseling. And I'm starting to see why there are so many complaints about access to mental health. And I'm fortunate enough to not have the financial constraints that restrict so many.
Reach out to Calgary Counselling Centre. Fill out the intake form asking for in-person counselling. Have a counsellor reach out the next day offering largely remote counselling. They have a day a week with in-person so I ask for that. I don't hear back. Reach out to the counsellor again. They give a few times for in-person and I agree to them. I don't hear back. Then today they send out an invite for remote counselling.
Like, you want me to spend $200 an hour opening up about my struggles when you won't even listen to my damn appointment preference? Starting the search again I guess.
/rant
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Feel you.
This is how the system works, and it's awful for the people who need this help. You need to have your s together more than the practitioners do, which is a lot to ask of a population who are struggling to keep their s together at all.
It's especially challenging when part of your mental handicapability ladder is hardcore time blindness and schedule management issues. The system is well and truly difficult to access, even when you know what you're looking for.
From what you've written here, it sounds like you're still sorting out what type of help you even need. Still in early stages... frustrating, but if you accept that this is how it is, it can help you stay persistent because the negative experience is not a surprise.
Here's my perspective.
If you're accessing EFAP type help (employee family assistance program) through your benefits, they will claim to be able to "match" you with a professional that is suited for your situation. It's horseplop.
You'll take the same basic intake questionnaire(s) that your family doctor would administer - typically the depression/self-harm screener.
You'll get matched up with whoever is available, regardless of their background or your needs. The family doc will refer you to one of the three personal relationships that they have "in their care network" who may or may not have anything to do with your challenges.
The EFAP person is likely going to be legit but early on their career/experience ladder. For example, a master's student or someone working towards their full certification. If you're lucky to get an experienced person, you will have choose from a few inconvenient options. This is because the EFAP system pays crap to the practitioner, and bills the benefit provider out at full rate for providing such a valuable and effective matchmaking service.
So you get a n00b who has no other way to build their client base, or a pro who limits the amount of their total weekly capacity to fill gaps in their calendar while keeping their average hourly rate up. Swell.
You'll also be limited to maybe 4 hours total service in a year through EFAP. If the person is not experienced or not a match, you'll get absolutely f-ing nowhere.
EFAP is fap fap fap.
If you can pay full rate for the help, use EFAP to cycle through a few options and cut to the chase with them that you've got more full rate benefits or an ability to pay out of pocket so they pay attention and give you the best level of service they have to offer, sooner. That still might not be a fit for you, so be prepared to still burn through a few people looking for the right fit in terms of their background, treatment methods, and personal chemistry.
Try user rating-based directories like
https://www.ratemds.com/best-doctors.../psychiatrist/ as a start if you have no EFAP.
Heads up... if you experience alexithymia at all, talk therapy will be a massive dead end. When I am at my lowest lows, I really suffer from it.
"The system" is built like rickety ass, and is biased towards talk therapy. It does not work for me, and it's taken me pretty much two decades and thousands of dollars to figure that out. But... I haven't given up and have tried lots of "approved" and less approved help along the way.
Somatic treatment modes have been much more helpful, on average. Stuff like Tapping, EMDR, walk-and-talk, sweat lodge, guided mediations / chanting, guided psychedelic use (with singing, music), animal work, art work, combinations of all of the above. I've had trouble sticking with any of these practitioners, but they help me a lot when I do get lucky enough to try them. Far more than the Family doc / eFAP FAP FAP system.
If none of that appeals I've found that CBT type therapy in a peer setting to be more helpful than one-on-one. It is as if observing others experience the benefits of it is helpful for me, even if it is not directed at me. Probably because it helps give me the words that I don't have (alexithymia), just a feeling. I've been thinking about joining this group, because I watch the doc's youtube channel and I connect with his style and insights:
https://www.healthygamer.gg/coaching/group
I've hesitated due to the cost and that I'm trying to make EMDR with a new EFAP recommendation work.
So far, it's been more of the same. Burned up my four eFAP freebies with "pre-requisite" work and missing two appointments due to "scheduling miscommunications". My next session is my first at full rate, and lo-and-behold, it will be the first legit EMDR session. What a joke.
This is after I called into the program out of desperation a week or two before Christmas, nearly ideating.
Luckily since then, I've had a few positive life experiences (minor wins with learning at work, small possibility of hope in a post-business bankruptcy process) and a friend connected me with a source of safe mushrooms so I've been able to right the ship enough to get out of the darkest dark for now.
I never appreciated just how dysregulated I am, pre-diagnosis. It's hard to accept this about myself, understand what my condition(s) actually are, and what I might need to do to keep myself "safe" let alone happy. The older I get, the worse it gets, as unattended problems have compounded.
It's very easy to pretend everything is alright, even when you suspect they are not. All I can really say is keep going, despite the frustrations.
