02-24-2018, 04:48 PM
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#2
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broke the first rule
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What does a dyslexic zombie eat?
Briiiaans
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What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
One is big and heavy, the other is a little lighter.
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02-24-2018, 04:50 PM
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#3
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: Kelowna, BC
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you wanna hear a joke....
ladies and gentlemen, your edmonton oilers!
__________________
"...and there goes Finger up the middle on Luongo!" - Jim Hughson, Av's vs. 'Nucks
Last edited by bc-chris; 02-24-2018 at 05:03 PM.
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02-24-2018, 04:53 PM
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#4
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Norm!
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I am not an Edmonton Oiler you take that back.
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My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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02-24-2018, 04:54 PM
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#5
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Norm!
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Why did the Stadium get hot after the game
All of the fans left.
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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02-24-2018, 04:56 PM
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#6
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Norm!
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Why did the Hipster burn his tongue?
He drank his coffee before it was cool.
__________________
My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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02-24-2018, 05:07 PM
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#7
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Fearmongerer
Join Date: Oct 2001
Location: Wondering when # became hashtag and not a number sign.
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C, E-flat, and G walk into a bar. The bartender shows them the door and says, “Sorry, we don’t serve minors.”
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02-24-2018, 05:18 PM
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#8
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Apr 2013
Location: Cowtown
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What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo?
Ones really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
__________________
Quote:
Originally Posted by oilboimcdavid
Eakins wasn't a bad coach, the team just had 2 bad years, they should've been more patient.
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02-24-2018, 05:30 PM
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#9
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evil of fart
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Not really a joke per se, but my wife and I have been playing a pretty fun game in the car with my kids lately: Trashy or Not Trashy. They're acing it.
Like if you see some gross chick with a leopard print steering wheel cover - hey kids, trashy or not trashy? Trashy, dad!
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02-24-2018, 06:24 PM
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#10
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Jan 2010
Location: Calgary
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- What do Colorado Avalanche and the Titanic have in common?
- They both look good until they hit the ice.
__________________
"An idea is always a generalization, and generalization is a property of thinking. To generalize means to think." Georg Hegel
“To generalize is to be an idiot.” William Blake
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02-24-2018, 06:28 PM
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#11
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Monster Storm
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Calgary
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Good advice:
There are three types of people,
those that can count and those that can't.
__________________
Shameless self promotion
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02-24-2018, 07:07 PM
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#12
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Scoring Winger
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: 780
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There are 10 kinds of people
Those who understand binary, and those that don't
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02-24-2018, 07:18 PM
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#13
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: Coquitlam, BC
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Sliver
Not really a joke per se, but my wife and I have been playing a pretty fun game in the car with my kids lately: Trashy or Not Trashy. They're acing it.
Like if you see some gross chick with a leopard print steering wheel cover - hey kids, trashy or not trashy? Trashy, dad!
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Gross chicks have felines too!
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02-24-2018, 07:18 PM
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#14
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Feb 2011
Location: Somewhere down the crazy river.
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Ask the question "what do deaf people read?" while motioning with your hand as if feeling braille.
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02-24-2018, 07:22 PM
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#15
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Not a casual user
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: A simple man leading a complicated life....
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What do Oilers home games and a Billy Graham revival have in common?
You have 18,000 plus people in the stands yelling Jesus Christ!
__________________
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02-24-2018, 10:03 PM
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#16
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Powerplay Quarterback
Join Date: Oct 2016
Location: An Island in the Atlantic
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What do you call two crows?
Attempted murder.
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02-25-2018, 12:40 AM
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#17
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Not a casual user
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: A simple man leading a complicated life....
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What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
Outlaws are wanted.
Why arent koalas actual bears?
They dont meet the koalafications
Why didn’t the lifeguard save the hippie?
Because he was too far out man!
Did you hear about the Mexican train killer?
He had locomotives.
What is the difference between ignorance and apathy?
I don’t know, and I don’t care.
Old people poke me at weddings and tell me “your next”
So I started doing the same thing to them at funerals.''
How do you get 100 old ladies to yell #####?
Have another one of them say bingo.
I recently bought some shoes from a drug dealer.
I don’t know what he laced them with, but I’ve been tripping all day.
__________________
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02-25-2018, 03:30 AM
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#18
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Franchise Player
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What do you call a herd of moose that got hot by a train?
Meeses pieces.
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02-25-2018, 08:51 AM
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#19
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Sep 2012
Location: SW Calgary
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How do you track Will Smith in the snow?
Follow the Fresh Prints
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02-25-2018, 08:51 AM
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#20
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: the dark side of Sesame Street
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What did Kermit say when Jim Henson died?
Nothing.
__________________
"If Javex is your muse…then dive in buddy"
- Surferguy
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The Jokes and Riddles Thread
