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Old 02-22-2017, 11:11 PM   #61
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well, today my dad turned 74! i honestly didn't think 4 weeks ago i'd be able to wish him a happy birthday. it was sooooo awesome this afternoon saying, 'happy birthday dad!'
i made him a couple of his favourite desserts... a couple of very small batches of almond bark (one with milk chocolate and one with dark chocolate) and a small puffed wheat cake. his eyes lit up when he saw the puffed wheat cake! ha! he was so pumped!

i was having a really hard time trying to figure out what to get him for a gift. he's your typical dad... he already has pretty much everything. my normal 'go to' gift would be some tool that we'd be using for a future project, but with all his tools currently making their way to my place that's a no go.
i ended up getting him a digital picture frame and loaded up something like 1,100 pics of my kids on to it. he LOVES it! i'm so happy he liked it. i also gave him a letter i had been working on since we found out his diagnosis. holy, that letter was hard to write. i've been very fortunate to always have a good relationship with my folks and i wanted to just let my dad know how much he has meant to me. lots of tears were wiped away while writing that letter. he loved it and really appreciated it even though he already knew 99% of what was in the letter.

we're having my folks over on saturday and i'm doing smoked ribs - should be another awesome evening and one heck of a feast!

my dad is definitely slowing down and that's tough to see.... he's my dad... superman... the guy who can do anything and is indestructible. he's usually good for a few hours then needs a nap to recharge the batteries. thankfully he is still pain free and able to still be very self sufficient. i think he gets a little annoyed that my mom never wants him to do physical stuff, but doing stuff gives him purpose in his day

i'm currently working on getting his slideshow done for his funeral (hopefully we don't need it for a while) and i'm really pumped that my band is going to be recording the back ground song for the slideshow. that will mean so much to my dad (he doesn't know yet that we're recording his favourite hymn 'the old rugged cross'. i found a version on youtube by Alabama that is really nice and i know my band will be able to hit it out of the park... even though we'd prefer to do more of a rock version! ha! ha!)
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Old 02-23-2017, 07:27 PM   #62
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It's been said a few ways and times previously, but you're resilience and strength is incredibly inspiring. God forbid I ever have to go through this, but if I do, if I can handle it with a fraction of your grace, my family would be proud. I wish you and your family nothing but the best in this tough time.


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Old 02-23-2017, 08:52 PM   #63
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Best. Son. Ever.
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Old 03-05-2017, 10:13 PM   #64
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thanks guys

Quote:
Originally Posted by TheScorpion View Post
Best. Son. Ever.
^^not really... i've said it before and i'll say it again - i just love my dad


so a little update...
my dad had a doctor's appointment this past wednesday. the doc liked the way he looked and said my dad's heart and lungs are good (so that's good news). my dad was joking that they should have palliative care plan a trip for the nurse and my folks to go to Maui... don't think that one will fly - ha!! i'm glad he still has his sense of humor!


when he first found out his diagnosis, one of the questions my dad asked me was when my hockey team played next and if any of our games were early. our february schedule was already out and nothing was earlier than 9-ish, so there was no way he'd be able to make it out to any of those games. he wanted to see me play again before he's gone. the guy who runs our league is one of my best friends, so i called him and asked if there was any way possible to get an early game at the beginning of march and hopefully my dad would still be alive and able to see me play again. done... no problem at all. we had that game this past weekend on saturday at 6:45pm.

well, we lost 6-5 to one of the top teams in our div, and even though we didn't get the 'w' it will be my all time favourite game ever played. i had talked with the other team before the game and let them know about my dad's situation and that my folks would watching the game. after the hand shake at the end of the game all the guys from both teams stayed on the ice and pounded the ice with their sticks in honour of my dad - it was awesome. words can not describe how that made me feel - thankfully i kept it together (my folks - not so much!). my dad kinda gave an 'ok thanks... please stop' wave and then the guys really got loud with the sticks! i was wiping away a few tears then.




we then got my dad on to the ice and i got a team pic with him. i'm going to get the pic blown up to something like an 11x17 and get all the guys on my team to sign it - this will be treasured by me for a long long time.



we got my dad off the ice and my parents were on their way home so i headed into the opposition's change room just to say thanks. i had done a pretty good job keeping it together until then. each and every one of those guys know how much having them stick around and honour my dad like that meant to me - it was cool. then to my change room. i might have taken a few minutes outside the door to get recomposed before i headed in, but going in there and being around my friends/teammates was pretty awesome.

i'm so thankful for saturday night.
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Old 03-05-2017, 10:38 PM   #65
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Your dad must have been an amazing dad and person raising a son like you. Wish you all the best and hopefully you get to spend a lot more time with him before he passes.
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Old 03-05-2017, 11:09 PM   #66
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You're lucky you're so close with your dad
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Old 03-06-2017, 07:10 AM   #67
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I am thoroughly jealous that you have a relationship with your father...both of you are very lucky to have each other!
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Old 03-06-2017, 09:42 AM   #68
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well done. this thread inspires me to try and be a better dad to my kids.

my dad was a hard guy to get to know and I try and be a little more open with my kids
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Old 03-06-2017, 09:47 AM   #69
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Quote:
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I am thoroughly jealous that you have a relationship with your father...both of you are very lucky to have each other!
I am jealous as well. I wish I would have had more time with him but he died within six weeks of his diagnosis of stage 4 liver cancer. By the time I got there he was so altered that we didn't get a chance to have a sober final conversation. I still miss him like crazy.
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Old 03-07-2017, 11:15 AM   #70
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Man, I dont know how you held it together at all during your time after the game. I teared up just reading your story! Thanks for sharing!

I related it to my son ... he's only (almost) 9, but some of our best moments so far have come from him playing hockey and me coaching on some of his teams. I know that when my time has come, I will want to watch him play one last time, hear my daughter sing one last time, etc.... It's awesome you got to do that for your Dad!
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Old 03-07-2017, 02:19 PM   #71
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thanks guys

one of the hardest parts with playing goal on saturday was trying to stay focused on the game and not look over at my folks - it was so awesome that my dad was able to make it out.

last night my band had a rehearsal and after a bit of practicing we recorded the song that will play during the slide show at my dad's funeral service. my dad has no clue that we recorded his favourite hymn. (it was actually quite funny watching a bunch of guys that play classic rock attempt to nail down a hymn written in 1917! ha ha!)
i'm hoping by next week everything is properly mixed and i can show him the slide show with the music and then surprise him with the, 'hope you like the rendition.... that's my band!'. my mom knows we were recording the hymn but hasn't told my dad becuz she wants it to be my surprise for him. he's going to love it - i can't wait!
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Old 03-07-2017, 08:19 PM   #72
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Hey Chris,

My condolences for the news, but the stories you and others have shared in this thread are very heartwarming.
I'm very jealous of the relationship you have with your dad, and I can only hope that my son grows up to be half the family man you are.

Thanks again for sharing all this. It truly is awesome to read

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Old 07-27-2017, 02:31 AM   #73
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hey guys

i thought i'd post a little update about what has been going on over the last while.

first off, i don't think i ever said what's up with my dad - so i'll give you the coles notes version....
about 3 years ago my dad had bladder cancer, then penile cancer, then a little more bladder cancer. after a bunch of treatments he was doing quite well. in january of this year he felt 'off' so he finally went to the doc. the two biggest concerns the docs found were that he had a large mass growing on his aorta and he had masses in his liver. they didn't want to touch the mass on his aorta in case it ruptured (which would take out his aorta), so they just monitored it (with ct scans). they thought it could be an aneurysm or possibly a growth that was the result of his bladder cancer treatments from a few years ago. the masses in his lever ended up being the same cancer that was in his bladder. i don't know much about liver cancer, but i was told that if a new cancer starts in the liver the docs can to something, if a cancer moves into the liver from somewhere else in the body it's a death sentence - my dad has the latter. the doc figured he would have at most 7-9 months (and it could be a lot sooner if the growth on his aorta burst). he could do chemo, but it would maybe only get him an extra few months tops (again - if his aorta didn't pop) and he'd feel like crap. he opted to just leave it (i would have chosen the same).

so that was back at the end of january. my dad had a couple ct scans in feb/march on his aorta and the growth was not increasing in size - so that was awesome news. it could still rupture, but it was less likely.

here we are at the end of july and i am sad to say that my mom called today to say that after today's visit with the doc that my dad likely only has 3 weeks tops. he will likely be going to hospice at some point next week. it's been really tough watching him get weaker and weaker over the past 6 months. to see my dad drop something like 50lbs and lose his strength to the point that i had to go to my folks place a while back at 3am to help him back in bed becuz he had fallen and my mom isn't strong enough to lift him really sucks. (just to clarify... the lack of strength my dad has sucks, not the fact that i had to go to their place in the middle of the night)

don't get me wrong - i am soooooo grateful for the past 6 months but it's been tough. we've done tons of visits, lots of feasts (not meals - but feasts!) and just doing everything i can to help my folks out.

when we found out his diagnosis i never expected to wish him a happy birthday (in february), have him wish my mom, my daughter and myself a happy birthday (in march), wish each other a happy fathers day (june) and just last week he was able to wish my wife and i a happy anniversary on friday and then on saturday wish our little guy a happy second birthday. i'm still hoping that he will be here to give my mom a kiss on their 52nd wedding anniversary on september 4th. i'm going to be going out tomorrow to get him an anniversary card and i'm hoping he'll be able write my mom a little note in the card (it's tough for him to write since the medications he's on really mess with his coordination and thought process). i'll hold onto it and have the card and nice bouquet of flowers for my mom on september 4th if my dad is not here to give them to her himself.


i do want to take a second to say thank you to this awesome community we have on calgarypuck - you guys are the best - you really are. so many comments earlier in this thread and also many private messages - i sincerely thank you. it means a lot, it really does.

i think i'll sign off now (heck... this post only took and hour and a half to write! jeeze!) and share a few pics...

this was from january - a day or two after we found out my dad's diagnosis
IMG_0949 by bc-chris, on Flickr


i took this back in march and got it framed and gave it to my dad for father's day (there might have been a few teary eyes when he opened the present and saw the pic). this is also the final slide in the slideshow that will play at his funeral
59 by bc-chris, on Flickr


jordan giving my dad a little stuffed cat for father's day
IMG_0294 by bc-chris, on Flickr

jordan getting a hug during my parents visit on matthew's birthday last weekend
IMG_0856 by bc-chris, on Flickr

matthew and jordan with grandma and grandpa last weekend
IMG_0891 by bc-chris, on Flickr
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Old 07-27-2017, 05:14 AM   #74
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chris, I'm so sorry for what you and your family are going through. The way you have tackled this situation is beautiful though, your dad seems to be a great person and he certainly raised a great son.

I wish you guys all the best during those difficult times. Rooting for you!
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Old 07-27-2017, 07:34 AM   #75
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Thank you for the update.

You are a son that any parent would be so proud and blessed to have. I wish you strength and comfort as you make this journey with your Dad. You have done everything you could do to let him know what he means to you and your family. I hope you find peace in that.
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Old 07-27-2017, 07:49 AM   #76
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A story I've always liked: Gene Krupa was dying of leukemia, and Buddy Rich brought Krupa's musician friends to New York. Rich said "seems to me that you should give flowers to the living".

Seems to me that in the past few months you've planted your dad one hell of a garden. Bravo.
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Old 07-28-2017, 10:27 PM   #77
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Liver cancer sucks; it took my dad five weeks after diagnosis. Leave nothing unsaid and make sure he knows how much you love him every time you see him.
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Old 08-01-2017, 01:48 PM   #78
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i was over visiting my folks this morning.

my mom said something like, 'i'll be right back... just want to go do my hair' (or something along those lines). it was perfect - a couple minutes alone with my dad, so i grabbed the anniversary cards i picked up and we chose one for him to sign.

the cover said "soul mates. when two hearts beat as one"
inside said "to my love, my heart, my one and only... happy anniversary"

thankfully my dad was lucid enough that he was able to sign it "all my love. ed"

i almost broke down but kept it together. i told him that i'd hold onto it for now and get it back to him right before their anniversary, since he usually doesn't know what day of the week it is or the current date. he was fine with that.

then he wanted to know what he owed me for the card - ha! i laughed and told him not to worry, i got it this time.

a couple minutes later my mom was back in the living room so i went and grabbed my goalie mask. last week i went to visit my air brusher/painter and had him add my dad's initials to my mask. i think dad thought it was pretty neat since i've already got my two kids names on the mask. my mom had to leave the room - she was tearing up pretty bad - but i know she loves it

it wasn't a long visit today (my dad can't take long visits - just no energy) but it was just great to see him and for him to see my kids again. he just loves their smiles and they make him laugh - so that's a win in my books
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Old 08-01-2017, 02:24 PM   #79
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I should not be reading this thread at work. Thanks for sharing Chris.
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Old 08-03-2017, 01:37 PM   #80
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just a little update…

my dad had a rough night last night so he was pretty whooped when his doc came by for a house call this morning.

as sucky as it is that my dad had a rough night I think it’s a blessing since the doc saw him at a low. he pretty much insisted on my dad that he go in to hospice asap, if anything, for the health and sanity of my mom. it’s been really tough on her caring for him (she now has to feed him at meal times)

we’re not sure yet when he will be admitted, but it could be as early as later today, but maybe friday or the weekend.

so yea - feeling kinda crappy right now, but at the same time the care givers and the hospice facility in kelowna are second to none, so I know my dad will be getting great care 24 hours a day and hopefully my mom can get a bit of a break in this tough time

the phone just rang… it was my mom – my dad will be admitted into hospice in a little over 90 minutes





chris
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