You Know What Really Grinds My Gears? Now with 3x more gears...

[DoubleF]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

I've actually never enjoyed watching sports in a bar, it's too distracting.

Or I just like watching sports by myself in my bed. I watch too intensely.

IMO there's a difference between watching sports in detail and going to a sporting event to be dragged along with the overall atmosphere. Both are very similar though, but different enough. Depending on the situation, there's pros and cons of each.

ie: I like watching regular season hockey. I like being able to be lost in the cacophony of celebrating key wins (ie: Playoffs).

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by DoubleF

IMO there's a difference between watching sports in detail and going to a sporting event to be dragged along with the overall atmosphere. Both are very similar though, but different enough. Depending on the situation, there's pros and cons of each.

ie: I like watching regular season hockey. I like being able to be lost in the cacophony of celebrating key wins (ie: Playoffs).

props for cacophony

[Nyah]

My work computer had an update today and changed my default Microsoft font from Calibri to something called Aptos Narrow and I hate it. I tried changing it back but I'm not having any luck.

[Erick Estrada]

Not really a gear grinder but a bit of a disappointing day for me. I have an aunt with terminal cancer that's in hospice living her final days. She has no children or husband so I am the next of kin and executor of her will because she and her sisters don't get along. My parents are still alive so I have never had to deal with this type of thing before so it's been a real life experience. I have been with her since the first day diagnosis, at the Tom Baker center for the treatments, to where we are today at the hospice. I and my siblings have done our best to visit her, and be there for her but today she notified me that she has started the MAID process and it kind of caught me off guard. I have to respect her decision but man I'm not really down with my aunt whom I'm fond of being put down like an animal as I struggled dealing with putting my cat down. If she passed away naturally it would be one thing but when you put a date on it it becomes more grim to me for some reason. I know it's not about me and that I should respect her decision but man it kind of bums me out.

[GirlySports]

Originally Posted by Locke

And I thought I was intense.

I like some atmosphere when I watch sports.

Originally Posted by Slava

That's 100% my opinion. It's one thing if it's a night out, or more of a social event. But I have some friends that pester me to go watch Premier League in the pub, have breakfast and all that. I constantly say no...I just want to watch the game!

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

I live watching games with a buddy.

Went to the pub to watch a lot of the RWC, by son came along as well.

The CRU is showing 6N this year and we will go to that as well.

What is the use of pontificating on the game and sharing vast knowledge on how players and coaches could do better all by myself.

Watching with a buddy is fine but his/her sports knowledge, commitment and intensity has to be equal to mine, which is difficult because, and this is going to sound arrogent, I watch sports very intensely and my knowledge of the sport is nearly second to none so I want to analyze at a high level. The other sports threads here on CP, NFL, Blue Jays, Tennis, are at that level and that is my enjoyment everyday.

The absoute worse is soccer. During the last World Cup, the late game kicked off at noon so everyday at the office, I'd heat up my lunch early, get a prime spot in front of the big tv in the lunchroom, watch the anthems and kickoff. Inevitably, people start streaming in and comment start, this looks wimpy, the players keep falling over, why would anyone watch a bunch of guys kick a ball around. Why hasn't there been a goal yet? This is stupid. In 15 minutes, I'd have to go back into my office and watch on my monitor. This came to a head when Korea was getting smoked by Brazil, I was rying to watch, living and breathing every blade of grass... "Why is Korea even playing when they are going to get smoked." I went off on that guy.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Erick Estrada

Not really a gear grinder but a bit of a disappointing day for me. I have an aunt with terminal cancer that's in hospice living her final days. She has no children or husband so I am the next of kin and executor of her will because she and her sisters don't get along. My parents are still alive so I have never had to deal with this type of thing before so it's been a real life experience. I have been with her since the first day diagnosis, at the Tom Baker center for the treatments, to where we are today at the hospice. I and my siblings have done our best to visit her, and be there for her but today she notified me that she has started the MAID process and it kind of caught me off guard. I have to respect her decision but man I'm not really down with my aunt whom I'm fond of being put down like an animal as I struggled dealing with putting my cat down. If she passed away naturally it would be one thing but when you put a date on it it becomes more grim to me for some reason. I know it's not about me and that I should respect her decision but man it kind of bums me out.

I actually think it takes a lot of courage and ensures that she goes out with dignity and on her own terms.

Just waiting and waiting in Hospice? Naw...I dont think I'd do that either.

Its a thing that is happening. Lets get on with it.

I think she's brave as hell.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by GirlySports

The absolute worse is soccer.

Nailed it

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Erick Estrada

Not really a gear grinder but a bit of a disappointing day for me. I have an aunt with terminal cancer that's in hospice living her final days. She has no children or husband so I am the next of kin and executor of her will because she and her sisters don't get along. My parents are still alive so I have never had to deal with this type of thing before so it's been a real life experience. I have been with her since the first day diagnosis, at the Tom Baker center for the treatments, to where we are today at the hospice. I and my siblings have done our best to visit her, and be there for her but today she notified me that she has started the MAID process and it kind of caught me off guard. I have to respect her decision but man I'm not really down with my aunt whom I'm fond of being put down like an animal as I struggled dealing with putting my cat down. If she passed away naturally it would be one thing but when you put a date on it it becomes more grim to me for some reason. I know it's not about me and that I should respect her decision but man it kind of bums me out.

Just went through the cancer thing with my mom. Start to finish was September 2022 to May 2023. I'm the opposite of you. I was heartbroken when she tried that third round of chemo that fkd her up so bad after it was all but set in stone there was no way out or back to a healthy and worthwhile life. I was hoping she would opt for MAiD, but she wanted to keep fighting and I just supported her (like what you're doing; I didn't suggest MAiD...just went with what she wanted).

Ultimately, she made a mistake to try that last round of chemo. It resulted in so much suffering, another awful surgery and wasting away in somewhat of a hysteria for extra weeks. After she was essentially in a coma I pleaded with the hospital staff just to give her a final push over the edge to end her struggle, but obviously they can't do that. It was a nightmare. They figured she'd last a day or two, tops. Went on like that for 10 days.

I don't understand what informs your take on MAiD. Religious, maybe? IDK...I can't relate to wanting a prolonged suffering.

And it is treating her how we treat our pets, I guess, but when you put an animal down it is precisely because they're terminal and suffering and we don't like to see that. It's humane.

I think it's equally merciful and humane to allow your aunt the option to use MAiD. We're so lucky here to have that option.

I was in Arizona in August 2021 to take care of my uncle at the end of his cancer journey. Same deal as you - no kids, I was the executor, we were quite close, etc. He told the hospice team (it was an inhouse hospice situation where he got to stay home) that he wanted to plan to depart on X day. They basically laughed and were like, 'wouldn't that be nice!' I'm thinking, 'yeah, it's super fkn nice...too bad a red state wouldn't let that happen'.

Anyway, all that is to say I think your aunt has made the right decision. You may never know, but what you have seen so far in her journey has preceded the worst part that is still to come: for her and for you. MAiD will limit her suffering and your heartache. I get that it is hard to accept that, but those final weeks/month or so with cancer - in my experience - are the absolute worst.

Sorry you're going through all that. The executor part sucks balls, too, but the good part is you sort of have a list of things to go through and you work through them. Once you start ticking things off, the weight starts to lift.

If you haven't had the tough talk yet about passwords and logins (banks, social media, bills, etc.) it's good to get that over with in one shot. There are a lot of resources online for what you'll need to do, but some of it is a bazillion times easier if you can get her help now.

I have seen a sort of reverse-nesting thing with people dying. They can feel unburdened as you take things off their plate, so it's possible this conversation will give her some peace. It did with my uncle and with my mom. They felt good to leave things manageable and organized.

Anyway, best of luck through all this. It isn't fun, but it gets better with time.

[Locke]

They say that Suicide is 'The Coward's Way Out.'

I contend that it takes a good deal of courage to know how and when to end your own life and follow through on it.

The cowards are the ones keeping people around, in agony, for their own selfish reasons.

I wouldnt want a loved one to hang around in pain, knowing that they're just waiting for the end just because it makes me sleep easier. Thats selfish.

If they feel like they're done and their time has come. That should be that person's call.

I do get your side of it. You want to keep that person around as long as possible. Its a loved one. But you have to consider all sides of the equation.

I think it takes a lot of bravery to decide to end your life.

[Fuzz]

It's not even suicide at this point, it's choosing to go out on your own terms. That, to me, takes much more courage than going along with it until death.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by Locke

They say that Suicide is 'The Coward's Way Out.'

I contend that it takes a good deal of courage to know how and when to end your own life and follow through on it.

The cowards are the ones keeping people around, in agony, for their own selfish reasons.

I wouldnt want a loved one to hang around in pain, knowing that they're just waiting for the end just because it makes me sleep easier. Thats selfish.

If they feel like they're done and their time has come. That should be that person's call.

I do get your side of it. You want to keep that person around as long as possible. Its a loved one. But you have to consider all sides of the equation.

I think it takes a lot of bravery to decide to end your life.

Even suicide for other reasons often isn't cowardly at all.

If you're avoiding consequences for some POS move, then yeah, pretty cowardly.

But if you just cannot live/function then it can sometimes be merciful. I always cringe when I hear that "coward's way out" thing, too. Like, let's kick a guy while he's down and just took his life? Um, yeah, I think I'll just offer my empathy, not dole out a parting shot.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Even suicide for other reasons often isn't cowardly at all.

If you're avoiding consequences for some POS move, then yeah, pretty cowardly.

But if you just cannot live/function then it can sometimes be merciful. I always cringe when I hear that "coward's way out" thing, too. Like, let's kick a guy while he's down and just took his life? Um, yeah, I think I'll just offer my empathy, not dole out a parting shot.

I say this in the 'Celebrity Death Thread' frequently.

It can be unfortunate to lose an artist, but a lot of those people are in constant pain, be it physical or mental.

So in a way...to alleviate their pain, whatever it may be, can be a blessing.

Its no different for a friend, family member or loved one.

Make it quick. Make it easy. End the pain.

[GGG]

Originally Posted by Erick Estrada

Not really a gear grinder but a bit of a disappointing day for me. I have an aunt with terminal cancer that's in hospice living her final days. She has no children or husband so I am the next of kin and executor of her will because she and her sisters don't get along. My parents are still alive so I have never had to deal with this type of thing before so it's been a real life experience. I have been with her since the first day diagnosis, at the Tom Baker center for the treatments, to where we are today at the hospice. I and my siblings have done our best to visit her, and be there for her but today she notified me that she has started the MAID process and it kind of caught me off guard. I have to respect her decision but man I'm not really down with my aunt whom I'm fond of being put down like an animal as I struggled dealing with putting my cat down. If she passed away naturally it would be one thing but when you put a date on it it becomes more grim to me for some reason. I know it's not about me and that I should respect her decision but man it kind of bums me out.

I think you are doing an excellent job supporting your aunt in a really tough situation.

When my Grampa died he had requested MAID and when I was told I had a very negative internal reaction of he can’t do that. I had this reaction even though I am very supportive of MAID. So I don’t think you can know how you will process it until you are confronted with it. My reaction really surprised me and took a lot of thinking to rationalize the emotions.

But you definitely are dealing with it the right way, support her and her options the best you can despite your internal conflict.

[Erick Estrada]

I guess it's just me being a bit caught off guard and disappointed that the siblings and I couldn't bring enough happiness to her with frequent visits to make it feel worth waking up every morning. I would even send my boys to visit her by themselves just because I know it brought happiness to her and without me around she could have a better visit. I feel a little like I failed her. Maybe my feelings are selfish I don't know. Two doctors have to sign off on it so I don't know if it's a given seeing she's not 100% sharp like she used to be but if it happens I respect that she's going out on her terms and for me I have to learn how to deal with the harsh events of life that I've been fortunate to avoid up until now.

[fotze2]

Originally Posted by Locke

I actually think it takes a lot of courage and ensures that she goes out with dignity and on her own terms.

Just waiting and waiting in Hospice? Naw...I dont think I'd do that either.

Its a thing that is happening. Lets get on with it.

I think she's brave as hell.

Sounds like with I went through with mom. Probably helped that she said her entire life that if she was terminal to absolutely pull the plug. This allowed her to pull it herself*. Like most people, they don't let on how much pain. You will probably only see them with a boat full of pain killers that screw up a whole lot else too.

My brother who is far more elegant than I (artsy/musician) and said this after on some post.

My beautiful mom left this world exactly the way I knew she would, with bravery, fierce individuality , and the edgiest humour.

We are so grateful for Canada's Medical Assistance in Dying program, which gave HER, not Cancer, the power to make her end.

The end of a melody is not its goal: but nonetheless, had the melody not reached its end it would not have reached its goal either - Nietzche

* That being said, one thing I don't appreciate looking back was now I have to live with seeing the process over and over in my head. Everyone says, you would regret not being there, but I am really unsure my regret of not being there is greater than the regret of being there. I'm a puss though.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by fotze2

Sounds like with I went through with mom. Probably helped that she said her entire life that if she was terminal to absolutely pull the plug. This allowed her to pull it herself*. Like most people, they don't let on how much pain. You will probably only see them with a boat full of pain killers that screw up a whole lot else too.

My brother who is far more elegant than I (artsy/musician) and said this after on some post.

My beautiful mom left this world exactly the way I knew she would, with bravery, fierce individuality , and the edgiest humour.

We are so grateful for Canada's Medical Assistance in Dying program, which gave HER, not Cancer, the power to make her end.

The end of a melody is not its goal: but nonetheless, had the melody not reached its end it would not have reached its goal either - Nietzche

* That being said, one thing I don't appreciate looking back was now I have to live with seeing the process over and over in my head. Everyone says, you would regret not being there, but I am really unsure my regret of not being there is greater than the regret of being there. I'm a puss though.

My Grandmother died about 7 years ago.

She had Alzheimers. Since about...its hard to say, I was a kid but maybe 1994?

And every day after that she had to be in a full-care facility. Every day for her was Hell. The orderly she sees a million times a day? Each time she has no idea who he is or what he wants and she is absolutely terrified.

She doesnt know who my dad is. Who my Uncles are. Who I am.

Her life was one perpetual nightmare. She lived in Terror and Agony constantly.

I spoke at her Funeral. And as callous as it sounds I said: "I'm glad she's dead. I'll miss her like hell, but I havent seen my Grandmother in decades. I dont know who that person in that room was, but it wasn't her. And now I know she's no longer frightened or in pain. She can be in Peace now."

I hate to say it, but 'gun to my head?' I'd have let my Grandmother die 20 years before she did.

She was already gone. The 'Real' her.

[undercoverbrother]

Originally Posted by Sliver

Even suicide for other reasons often isn't cowardly at all.

If you're avoiding consequences for some POS move, then yeah, pretty cowardly.

But if you just cannot live/function then it can sometimes be merciful. I always cringe when I hear that "coward's way out" thing, too. Like, let's kick a guy while he's down and just took his life? Um, yeah, I think I'll just offer my empathy, not dole out a parting shot.

My good friend killed himself in May 2016.

I never got to see him before he did it, I had the chance but decided not to walk a couple of minutes to see him.

I hate it, it still bothers me. Not all the time but there are days it really picks away at me, and it ####ing hurts.

Suicide isn’t the same as medically assisted dying.

He left a lot of people empty and broken that day.

Maybe it would be different if he had said good bye and that he couldn’t go on, I don’t know.

I’ll never ####ing know.

[Sliver]

Originally Posted by undercoverbrother

My good friend killed himself in May 2016.

I never got to see him before he did it, I had the chance but decided not to walk a couple of minutes to see him.

I hate it, it still bothers me. Not all the time but there are days it really picks away at me, and it ####ing hurts.

Suicide isn’t the same as medically assisted dying.

He left a lot of people empty and broken that day.

Maybe it would be different if he had said good bye and that he couldn’t go on, I don’t know.

I’ll never ####ing know.

I've had somebody close to me kill himself due to unrelenting and agonizing decades-long mental health struggles. I genuinely believe it was a mercy killing. He suffered too long. I have peace that he has peace, but I wish he could have had the dignity of MAiD and I believe it should be available to people with exceptional mental health problems.

Everyone interprets and experiences this stuff differently and I'm not trying to change your perspective, of course.

[cam_calderon]

I can empathise, Erick. You are obviously older than me (I'm 28), but your 'real struggles of life' comment really struck a chord with me. I've been to funerals before but going to see my grandad in the hospital with cancer doing its thing, seeing my own flesh and blood on his deathbed was a very tough experience.

I had a very comfortable middle class childhood, and never wanted for anything. My parents were extremely lenient and shielded me from a lot of the realities of life.

[habernac]

It sucks so bad seeing them suffer. Dad did not choose MAID, but I kind of wish he had. He was so medicated the last three weeks of his life that he was barely coherent. It was rough seeing him that way, but at least the pain was controlled and he was home, where he wanted to be. Had a great view of the Calgary Tower.

She is brave, EE. Keep loving and supporting her. It’s a rough ride. I’m sorry.