Rate your current mental health level out of 10

[Scroopy Noopers]

Originally Posted by SportsJunky

Your pet is the biggest problem in your marriage? What's happening?

To be clear, being so isn’t going to cause a separation. But it’s been a drain. He was 2 when we got him from the pound, he’s 100 lbs and reactive and 4 years and thousands of dollars of courses and countless hours of time and effort and he’s just manageable. And the argument driver is, she isn’t disciplined with him so there is no consistency. We literally attended courses together for ages and I was the only one to fully buy in on the day to day with him. So he’ll basically never improve and it’s not even his fault. We can’t just have people pop over, we can’t leave him with anyone, we can’t go for walks as a family because it’s not even fun. Having friends kids over is super stressful for me as I take that super seriously. He’s extra pissy if our kid is with us. It’s just a daily grind that I’ve come to accept…. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t.

Still love him, still scritch him and tell him he’s a good boy every day.

[afc wimbledon]

Originally Posted by Scroopy Noopers

To be clear, being so isn’t going to cause a separation. But it’s been a drain. He was 2 when we got him from the pound, he’s 100 lbs and reactive and 4 years and thousands of dollars of courses and countless hours of time and effort and he’s just manageable. And the argument driver is, she isn’t disciplined with him so there is no consistency. We literally attended courses together for ages and I was the only one to fully buy in on the day to day with him. So he’ll basically never improve and it’s not even his fault. We can’t just have people pop over, we can’t leave him with anyone, we can’t go for walks as a family because it’s not even fun. Having friends kids over is super stressful for me as I take that super seriously. He’s extra pissy if our kid is with us. It’s just a daily grind that I’ve come to accept…. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t.

Still love him, still scritch him and tell him he’s a good boy every day.

Big dogs are a pain in the arse, I have never understood why anyone gets them unless they live on 4 acres

[RichieRich]

Originally Posted by musth

How Pets Influence Our Mental Health

https://balanceapp.com/blog/how-pets...-mental-health

The 4-legged pet, after many years of trying to agree, has been for the most part overwhelmingly a positive experience. Sure there are the odd issues but it's helped tremendously with mental health and purpose and responsibility and love to several people.
Whereas the fish didn't really offer anything.
Sure there are also bad pets and bad owners and not always possible to predict how it might turn out. If it's not working out better to admit it early and get rid of one of those misbehaving... for some of you might have been the partner... or the pet.... (I don't want to assume)

[flamesfever]

Originally Posted by Scroopy Noopers

To be clear, being so isn’t going to cause a separation. But it’s been a drain. He was 2 when we got him from the pound, he’s 100 lbs and reactive and 4 years and thousands of dollars of courses and countless hours of time and effort and he’s just manageable. And the argument driver is, she isn’t disciplined with him so there is no consistency. We literally attended courses together for ages and I was the only one to fully buy in on the day to day with him. So he’ll basically never improve and it’s not even his fault. We can’t just have people pop over, we can’t leave him with anyone, we can’t go for walks as a family because it’s not even fun. Having friends kids over is super stressful for me as I take that super seriously. He’s extra pissy if our kid is with us. It’s just a daily grind that I’ve come to accept…. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn’t.

Still love him, still scritch him and tell him he’s a good boy every day.

I had the same problem with trying to stop my wife from giving our dog the odd bit of food while eating at the table. Once that happens, it's near impossible to change the dog. So now, the dog and I share a bowl of raison bran, and rye bread toast every morning.

Have you watched "Marley and Me". It may make you think your dog is an angel in comparison.

What breed is it?

I know it's a pain to have a dog like that, but perhaps just the loving and caring for him may be doing some good. Hopefully he'll mature and settle down with age.

[Locke]

Originally Posted by flamesfever

I had the same problem with trying to stop my wife from giving our dog the odd bit of food while eating at the table. Once that happens, it's near impossible to change the dog. So now, the dog and I share a bowl of raison bran, and rye bread toast every morning.

Have you watched "Marley and Me". It may make you think your dog is an angel in comparison.

What breed is it?

I know it's a pain to have a dog like that, but perhaps just the loving and caring for him may be doing some good. Hopefully he'll mature and settle down with age.

Lol. My wife and I went on vacation and left our dog with her mother and...yeah. She'd give him cereal and toast every morning. So now he expects breakfast.

[Russic]

We–along with most of the free world–got a covid puppy in 2020. She's a very good dog but perhaps loves a bit too much and can get pretty excited. We enrolled in a training program to deal with some of the issues we couldn't seem to curve, and man alive was that an eye opener.

I know the traditional view is all bad dog behaviour is just bad human behaviour (and most of it is), but there are legitimately wonderful and hard working dog owners out there who got monumentally screwed by bad luck. There were dogs that picked up loose-leash walking with 3 corrections over 5 minutes, while there were dogs that never got it, and both owners were lovely people who were 100% committed.

On the final day I was chatting with the trainer and asked about the discrepancy and their reply was something along the lines of "Some of these dogs are highly anxious and some aren't. Ever know anybody with anxiety? How easy was it to fix them?" That sorta stuck with me, that sometimes the work required to train a dog can be incredibly difficult and outside somebody's available bandwidth.

So I totally see how Scroopy can list this among the drains on his life. Sometimes it's hard with 100% buy-in, and he doesn't even have that.

[CaptainCrunch]

Bump after some really hard times over the last few years, including a massive loss of income, my mom dying, my dad causing trouble. I feel like the sun is hopefully coming out.


My Dad has stabalized at his new place and isn't lashing out of causing problems, he seems like a different person. Which is great.



I received a job offer today, its a good job with great pay, benefits and bonuses, and it could be a really interesting job. The job search was hard with very few interviews, but they were really impressed with me, enough to offer me more then I asked for.



Now I have to catch up financially.



And give a notice to the company that I have been working with and come up with a transition plan, maybe I can do some side gig work on these projects.



But I feel better, I'm not a 10 or anything, but its better.

[RichieRich]

Originally Posted by CaptainCrunch

Bump after some really hard times over the last few years, including a massive loss of income, my mom dying, my dad causing trouble. I feel like the sun is hopefully coming out.
...
But I feel better, I'm not a 10 or anything, but its better.

Thanks for the great update CC. Take the wins you can and give credit that you worked hard for everything and eventually you scored. Keep grinding away but at a healthy pace and make the time for self care.

[KootenayFlamesFan]

Really glad to see the update, Captain. All the best to you.

I'm lucky, my mental health is around a 9 or more. A job that's just ok, but almost zero stress, and it pays pretty good. Family is doing well for the most part. Life could be much worse. Most of my stress is financially related, but even it's not dire. Just wish I had less debt, but realistic to know I'm not alone in that. I realize I'm extremely lucky. Eventually there will be some pretty dark days with so many people I love getting older, so I might as well enjoy life when things are going ok.

[fotze2]

I win this thread. When your kids move out, it’s devastating. Just when they started to get interesting. When you see your dad look older after you move out, it’s because he got older, it’s real.

[Buff]

I can't put a number to my mental health but it's low. I'm just bummed out mostly but there's situational stress too. My dad passed just over a week ago and his funeral was a couple days ago. I can see that I'm a bit withdrawn from social situations right now. I just don't feel like engaging with people.

My mom is... old and maybe she's starting to have dementia or maybe it's anxiety from dealing with my dad and his dementia and him being in the hospital for over 45 days


But I have a lot going on. Focusing is hard right now

[dissentowner]

Originally Posted by Buff

I can't put a number to my mental health but it's low. I'm just bummed out mostly but there's situational stress too. My dad passed just over a week ago and his funeral was a couple days ago. I can see that I'm a bit withdrawn from social situations right now. I just don't feel like engaging with people.

My mom is... old and maybe she's starting to have dementia or maybe it's anxiety from dealing with my dad and his dementia and him being in the hospital for over 45 days


But I have a lot going on. Focusing is hard right now

Sorry for your loss, hang in there.

[flamesfever]

Originally Posted by Buff

I can't put a number to my mental health but it's low. I'm just bummed out mostly but there's situational stress too. My dad passed just over a week ago and his funeral was a couple days ago. I can see that I'm a bit withdrawn from social situations right now. I just don't feel like engaging with people.

My mom is... old and maybe she's starting to have dementia or maybe it's anxiety from dealing with my dad and his dementia and him being in the hospital for over 45 days


But I have a lot going on. Focusing is hard right now

I'm sorry for your loss. When you are feeling up to it, it might help to contact Alberta Health Services (811) and try to get some form of grief support. They used to have a really good program at the Rockyview, but I think it has moved to the old Childrens' Hospital. I have friends that really benefited from these programs.

[TheIronMaiden]

Originally Posted by Buff

I can't put a number to my mental health but it's low. I'm just bummed out mostly but there's situational stress too. My dad passed just over a week ago and his funeral was a couple days ago. I can see that I'm a bit withdrawn from social situations right now. I just don't feel like engaging with people.

My mom is... old and maybe she's starting to have dementia or maybe it's anxiety from dealing with my dad and his dementia and him being in the hospital for over 45 days


But I have a lot going on. Focusing is hard right now

I would get in contact with your local hospice society. They will put you in contact with local resources that can help you and your mom out during these difficult transitions.

https://www.hospicecalgary.ca/

[woob]

Originally Posted by Buff

I can't put a number to my mental health but it's low. I'm just bummed out mostly but there's situational stress too. My dad passed just over a week ago and his funeral was a couple days ago. I can see that I'm a bit withdrawn from social situations right now. I just don't feel like engaging with people.

My mom is... old and maybe she's starting to have dementia or maybe it's anxiety from dealing with my dad and his dementia and him being in the hospital for over 45 days


But I have a lot going on. Focusing is hard right now

Much love and positive energy to you, Buff. My mom just passed last week and it's HARD. Still feels not real. Heartbroken doesn't even begin to describe it. Some days its tears all day long and some days it just a deep, hopeless sadness. I'll definitely be reaching out to grief counselling services. Hang in there, Buff.

[fotze2]

Sorry for my crappy drive by. Dad died suddenly and I am a puddle. God is one right c$nt.

[afc wimbledon]

Originally Posted by fotze2

Sorry for my crappy drive by. Dad died suddenly and I am a puddle. God is one right c$nt.

sorry man, I have nothing to add but this too shall pass and yes God's a dick

[devo22]

it's been pretty rough lately, as my mom is losing her battle with cancer. We've known for a month or two where this is headed, but the pace at which her condition has worsened over the past two weeks has been unbelievable. My only wish is that she doesn't have to endure much more pain and suffering.

She's only 59. My dad has been a rock through all of this, but I worry about him too and how he will cope without her. I feel sad, lost and heartbroken. #### cancer.

[rotten42]

I'd say I'm at an 7 right now. Kids are doing well. Relationship is going well. Work is busy and I got two bumps up last year. It might be higher if it wasn't for caring for an elderly patent that has a lot of issues. But overall I think for me where my mental health got better is when I stopped watching/reading the news so much. I got in the habit of consuming a lot of "news" when I was living in the US and it made me a less patient and angrier person. As I told a friend of mine that seems to be in that mode right now, "shrink your world". Concentrate more or the things closest to you and you can have influence over.

[Cali Panthers Fan]

Middle age is fully annoying. Too old to enjoy the things of youth or have any hopes or plans for the future. Too young to say "#### it" and just enjoy life...duties are required.

Someone give me some advice for my impending mid-life crisis. I'm struggling to find the joy in the day to day, even though I have it good compared to so many others in terms of finance and relationships/family.

Also, side note (not so side note looking at it now), I'm seriously thinking of taking Wegovy to lose weight. I'm currently at 285 lbs., and it's been getting worse over time. I was already fairly large at 250 a few years ago, but then having kids adds weight due to lifestyle changes, and then a pandemic made things even worse. I noticed the issue about 2 years ago and began correcting diet. It's not perfect, but I eat a very healthy diet and moderate portions...no change in weight. I try to be active, but now with the added weight, it's getting increasingly hard to do much more than a brisk walk or an intermittent jog. It's not changing anything. I'm at a point where I feel like I need a hard reset so I CAN be active again, so hence the consideration of medication.

However, it makes me feel very weak and pathetic to rely on a medication to fix my issues. I've been trying to do it just on lifestyle alone, but the needle isn't moving much. I worry that it will become a permanent feature of my life if I start the drug. I know the long-term detriment of added weight, and I just don't want those consequences. Despite my mid-life crisis, I want to be around for my family long-term.

Help. I'm in a bad state at the moment, and I need advice and support.