08-14-2017, 01:25 PM
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#21
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Franchise Player
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Hockey Ninja. Just checking in on how you're doing. Even if you're not in the mood to post, can you just drop a note that you're OK
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"OOOOOOHHHHHHH those Russians" - Boney M
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08-14-2017, 05:46 PM
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#22
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Join Date: Dec 2010
Location: Cleveland, OH (Grew up in Calgary)
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Quote:
Originally Posted by killer_carlson
Hockey Ninja. Just checking in on how you're doing. Even if you're not in the mood to post, can you just drop a note that you're OK
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I'm alive. I'm doing better than I was yesterday, but still not great. Even though I experience happiness in my day at work I still feel the pain
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Just trying to do my best
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08-14-2017, 09:29 PM
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#23
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First Line Centre
Join Date: Aug 2013
Location: Royal Oak
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Go to the ER and tell them what you're going through, especially if you have suicidal thoughts or thoughts of self harm. They will help you get the right kind of help and it sounds like you need it sooner rather than later. If they feel counselling is needed, they will refer you to a program that guarantees you will see a psychiatrist within 2 weeks (AHS covers psychiatrist services). If it is bad enough, they may recommend you check yourself in for in patient psychiatric services.
This is what I did (it was actually recommended to me by the screener for NW Psychiatric services) because the wait for a psychiatrist if referred by your family doc can take months. I went to the ER, explained what was going on, talked with one of the doctors and was referred to Adult Psychiatric Services at Foothills. I saw a psychiatrist within two weeks for my screening and went for sessions for that.
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08-15-2017, 07:09 AM
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#25
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Pickle Jar Lake
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^
That's a horrible take.
Mental health professionals have tools they can teach you, but they need to know your specific situation. It's not something you can pick up off Google and sort out yourself. Telling someone they need to be healthy physically, and mental health will follow is baffling. Maybe they can't do those things because of their mental state?
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08-15-2017, 07:13 AM
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#26
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Franchise Player
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Matata
Putting your mental health into someone elses hands is playing roullette with your most valuable resource.
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I would think listening to "sound" advice like this would be worse than seeking professional help.
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08-15-2017, 08:04 AM
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#27
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: https://homestars.com/companies/2808346-keith-my-furnace-guy
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Hockey Ninja
Do make sure you put yourself first in these times where you aren't feeling well. Making sure your okay first helps you help others when needed.
I agree with posters on here that checking in with us is important.
This forum has helped allot of folks through tough times and for what I have witnessed our community here is genuinely concerned and allot of people are willing to help in any way possible.
Have an awesome day and please keep us updated.
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08-15-2017, 08:28 AM
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#28
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Lifetime Suspension
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Fuzz
^
That's a horrible take.
Mental health professionals have tools they can teach you, but they need to know your specific situation. It's not something you can pick up off Google and sort out yourself. Telling someone they need to be healthy physically, and mental health will follow is baffling. Maybe they can't do those things because of their mental state?
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At what point did I say it would be easy or that being healthy would be all it takes? Searching for happiness and contentment while having poor physical health is working up hill. Improving Physical health isn't hard and if someone is serious about turning things around, it is the best place to start.
No one can fix you but yourself, no one will understand you as well as you understand yourself, you can get yourself together better than anyone else can and then you'll always have that skill in your toolbox. By all means, look for help where you can get it, but at the end of the day it is always going to be on the individual to manage themselves. No pill will fix you, no doctor will fix you, it is up to you to find good sources and then make them work for you.
I've had to find my own way because every experience with a mental health professional was useless, it was an expensive hassle and all I got was obvious advice. I've found that focusing on physical health, self education and understanding to be vastly more fruitful.
Last edited by Matata; 08-15-2017 at 08:31 AM.
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08-15-2017, 08:36 AM
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#29
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#1 Goaltender
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: An all-inclusive.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Matata
At what point did I say it would be easy or that being healthy would be all it takes? Searching for happiness and contentment while having poor physical health is working up hill. Improving Physical health isn't hard and if someone is serious about turning things around, it is the best place to start.
No one can fix you but yourself, no one will understand you as well as you understand yourself, you can get yourself together better than anyone else can and then you'll always have that skill in your toolbox. By all means, look for help where you can get it, but at the end of the day it is always going to be on the individual to manage themselves. No pill will fix you, no doctor will fix you, it is up to you to find good sources and then make them work for you.
I've had to find my own way because every experience with a mental health professional was useless, it was an expensive hassle and all I got was obvious advice. I've found that focusing on physical health, self education and understanding to be vastly more fruitful.
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Counter point: A properly prescribed pill can help you, doctors can help you, it is not only up to you to find good sources and then make them work for you. You are not an island.
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08-15-2017, 08:44 AM
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#30
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Franchise Player
Join Date: Mar 2015
Location: Pickle Jar Lake
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Matata, please stop trying to give advice, you are going to do more harm than good.
Did whatever you do work for you? Fine. But that's not the case for most people. Unless you can provide some scientific evidence that your method is better than what the professionals can offer after years of research, I strongly suggest you stop telling people not to seek professional help. They may just take your advice.
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08-15-2017, 09:07 AM
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#31
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Franchise Player
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Matata
No one can fix you but yourself, no one will understand you as well as you understand yourself, you can get yourself together better than anyone else can and then you'll always have that skill in your toolbox. By all means, look for help where you can get it, but at the end of the day it is always going to be on the individual to manage themselves. No pill will fix you, no doctor will fix you, it is up to you to find good sources and then make them work for you.
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Look, I get that some treatments will work better for some people than others. But just apply everything you just said to cancer, and understand how utterly ridiculous you sound. Health issues that arise from issues with brain chemistry are no less biologically rooted than tumors are, and in serious cases, just about as unpleasant to live with and just about as life-threatening if untreated.
That said, I do agree with you that for most people, regular exercise helps.
__________________
"The great promise of the Internet was that more information would automatically yield better decisions. The great disappointment is that more information actually yields more possibilities to confirm what you already believed anyway." - Brian Eno
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08-15-2017, 09:18 AM
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#32
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Franchise Player
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Some good resources mentioned already, including distress centre and professionals.
I'm not sure if this might help you, but IMO quitting Facebook and Instagram and whatever other social media you use for a a few days can help let things quiet down in your mind without constant bombardment from external means. You can always pretend someone bet you $20 to do it or something.
People sometimes don't realize how being available almost all the time tires them out and puts weight on their shoulders. I am not saying cut off all communication. Text, phone call, messenger etc. are better direct options rather than social media.
Good luck man. I hope things work out for you.
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08-15-2017, 09:25 AM
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#33
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Lifetime Suspension
Join Date: Jul 2015
Location: Hmmmmmmm
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"In my experience"
Please elaborate on your experience and then we can decide to take you seriously or not.
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08-15-2017, 09:34 AM
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#34
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Franchise Player
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Quote:
Originally Posted by calgaryblood
"In my experience" Please elaborate on your experience and then we can decide to take you seriously or not.
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Yeah, no. At no point should anyone be required to out themselves or talk about what they've dealt with unless they're comfortable doing so. Certainly not in an area as difficult as this one and certainly not on an internet forum.
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"The great promise of the Internet was that more information would automatically yield better decisions. The great disappointment is that more information actually yields more possibilities to confirm what you already believed anyway." - Brian Eno
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08-15-2017, 09:53 AM
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#35
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AltaGuy has a magnetic personality and exudes positive energy, which is infectious to those around him. He has an unparalleled ability to communicate with people, whether he is speaking to a room of three or an arena of 30,000.
Join Date: Jun 2007
Location: At le pub...
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Matata
At what point did I say it would be easy or that being healthy would be all it takes? Searching for happiness and contentment while having poor physical health is working up hill. Improving Physical health isn't hard and if someone is serious about turning things around, it is the best place to start.
No one can fix you but yourself, no one will understand you as well as you understand yourself, you can get yourself together better than anyone else can and then you'll always have that skill in your toolbox. By all means, look for help where you can get it, but at the end of the day it is always going to be on the individual to manage themselves. No pill will fix you, no doctor will fix you, it is up to you to find good sources and then make them work for you.
I've had to find my own way because every experience with a mental health professional was useless, it was an expensive hassle and all I got was obvious advice. I've found that focusing on physical health, self education and understanding to be vastly more fruitful.
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Yeah, I think this is terrible, trite advice. While exercise undoubtedly helps most mental health conditions, "improving physical health" is tremendously difficult for most people let alone people suffering in depression or other mental states that affect one's motivation.
Seeking help in and of itself is the most important way out from my experiences. Make a decision that you will find someone who can help you. This requires both an acceptance of the problem and a willingness to share it with another. You also have to get past the idea that you can "do it yourself" or "it will just get better on its own, in time". This is why I think the advice from Mutata is absolutely terrible. Get the help.
I suffered from various major mental health problems for years, but when I realized I really needed help, I waited in Sheldon Chumir's emergency room until they set me up with the counselors upstairs. You speak to a counselor for three weeks in a row, and then you see a psychiatrist there. After the psychiatrist sees you they can set you up with further counselling or another psychiatrist, or whatever it is they think you need.
Also - pharmaceuticals really, really help with depression. People speak negatively of them a lot, but they really do work when needed if you have someone who will help you find the right ones. I tried many before I found my current treatment plan, but things have improved dramatically in my life since then.
Feel free to PM me Hockey-Ninja if you want to speak to someone who has definitely been there.
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11-29-2019, 07:10 PM
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#36
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Franchise Player
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I need some help. Our twenty-year-old is suffering from depression. He has had no success with medication so far and hasn’t found a therapist that works for him. I feel like he is looking for a silver bullet and is increasingly despondent about it. We talk to him about the importance of sleep, food, hydration and exercise but he can’t break out of his funk to focus on any of those. We keep reminding him but are wary of going too far and him tuning us out altogether.
I feel like we need to find the right person or support to get him turned around but also to help us figure out how we can help more effectively. Obviously we can’t be in his sessions but I’m wondering if family counselling would also help. I feel helpless on the sidelines but don’t want to overstep either.
Has anyone else dealt with this?
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11-29-2019, 07:21 PM
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#37
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Not a casual user
Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: A simple man leading a complicated life....
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Never give up on finding the right therapist. It has to be one your son feels comfortable talking with and more importantly that he feels safe in talking too. Sometimes you'll get a situation where the patient feels the therapist doesn't understand what their dealing with and the patient gets very frustrated with the whole situation. Been through both of the above situations
Medication is different for everyone due to all the side effects. I can remember trying 12 different types before I found the right one that worked for me.
Maybe you and your wife should explore counselling for both of you. It would help you to understand what your son/daughter is dealing with and how best to help, without causing him/her to tune you out.
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11-29-2019, 09:22 PM
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#38
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That Crazy Guy at the Bus Stop
Join Date: Jun 2010
Location: Springfield Penitentiary
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Finding the right doctor is a start. Need someone who can help him get the right medication and dosage. As Dion says people often try several before one works and doesn’t have too many terrible side effects.
Therapist is tougher. There’s different types of therapy methods. CBT and DBT being common. Different education designations, MC, MSW, RSW etc. More education and experience usually means higher cost. Upwards of $200/hr. He may respond better to a male or female, someone older or younger. More spiritual or solution focused.
On thing you’ve got right is not forcing him thru it but also being supportive. It’s a fine line.
You’re also correct that there’s no magic bullet. He needs to buy into it. Therapists nowadays tend to focus on setting and achieving goals. It’s not like on TV where the therapist let’s them talk about their family on and on then all of a sudden there’s a revelation about their childhood and boom the person is cured. That’s not to say they don’t try and uncover underlying causes but don’t tend to dwell there. He’s definitely going to have a hard time if he’s not willing (or able) to put in an equal amount of work at and away from his sessions. And you want to support him without constantly having to hold him accountable. That’s probably best left to himself and his therapist.
Good luck.
Last edited by Cecil Terwilliger; 11-29-2019 at 09:25 PM.
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11-29-2019, 09:34 PM
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#39
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Celebrated Square Root Day
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nm
Last edited by jayswin; 11-29-2019 at 09:44 PM.
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11-29-2019, 09:40 PM
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#40
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Celebrated Square Root Day
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The absolute best thing for your son, imo, would be to get into the South Health Calgary Campus (new Calgary Hospital). Unfortunately, which hospital someone goes to after a recommendation from a GP is mostly up to your location and Calgary South Health Campus is known to be a cut above.
If you want more detailed info feel free to PM me as myself and another family member have been through this process. Basically you need to start at the GP level with an official recommendation from a doctor. Then you wait.....usually weeks to a couple months, then you go for an evaluation, orientation and then one on one treatment of illness (depression being one of them).
edit: without any info on your son, Edslunch, the biggest advice I can give is do not treat depression as a fad or standard teenager issue (It doesn't seem you are, as you've attempted therapy). Treat it as a potential mental illness and if it turns out not to be then great. If it is (and it often is) and it isn't diagnosed and treated properly that's where things can go south in a hurry.
Calgary South is excellent at diagnosing and understanding the difference between hard times and mental illness and working through it with patients. The biggest problem with treating depression is therapy and treatment ranges from "absolute ****" to "life changing" depending on where you get sent, and Calgary South Health Campus falls firmly in the latter category.
Last edited by jayswin; 11-29-2019 at 09:50 PM.
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