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Old 09-16-2009, 10:31 AM   #1
Aeneas
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Default Revenge is a dish....

Upon the prompting of a couple CPers with whom I shared beers after the game last night, I am posting this story looking for suggestions.

Late Saturday night (near midnight) something struck our back deck. I rushed outside to find that our house had been "egged". I could not see the culprits (our house backs on to a hilly green space) and assumed it was just teenagers having some fun.

A neighbor came out whose deck/wall had been hit also. Turns out 4 houses in a row got hit. She decided to take her dog for a walk and came by a house on our street that had their back door open. Some guys were talking loudly and laughing. She approached and entered the back yard when she heard them talking about throwing eggs and how fun it was.

Turns out this guy lives 8 houses away and is 30 - 35 years old. Now when I assumed it was kids I thought no big deal, a small clean up no harm no foul kind of thing. But now an adult did this to his neighbors?

So, I need to decide upon an appropriate and measured response.

Do I...

egg his house
collect up my dog's excrement and lob it into his yard
knock on his door and try to provoke him
discuss it with him
do nothing

Again it is not a big deal, it just kind of bugs me that he would do this. I think he should have to pay some price.

Thanks in advance for the quality responses this is sure to engender.

Best/funniest response wins bar fries and a beer at the CP live hockey draft Oct 3.
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:32 AM   #2
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Flaming bag of dog poo

also, thanks for inviting me for beers after the game! :P
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:35 AM   #3
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I'm liking the dog sh*t idea. To put a little twist on your idea: I can save a weeks worth of diapers for you. You've seen how bad they can get
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:35 AM   #4
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Flaming bag of dog poo

also, thanks for inviting me for beers after the game! :P
Oh! Flaming diapers! Good idea!
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:36 AM   #5
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If his vehicle is parked outside let the air out of all his tires
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:36 AM   #6
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Steal his garden hose.
Knock on his door, and when he answers it, proceed to beat him with said hose.
Then tie him to the front of his house with said hose, with ball gag, and call Zed.
Bring the Gimp with you as well though.
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:37 AM   #7
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if you're gonna do some dirty ass diapers then hide them under a deck or something right outside their back door where the source of the odour won't be so obvious.
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:37 AM   #8
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chid View Post
Flaming bag of dog poo

also, thanks for inviting me for beers after the game! :P
Sorry, it just breaks my heart to see you with another man...I couldn't bear it.
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:39 AM   #9
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Burn his house down
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:40 AM   #10
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if you're gonna do some dirty ass diapers then hide them under a deck or something right outside their back door where the source of the odour won't be so obvious.
Better yet hide it in a place where he won't find it. The smell will drive him batty as he hunts for the source of the smell.
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:40 AM   #11
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Next time his back door is open you should lob a carton or 2 inside.

This can't go unpunished. You gotta do something.
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:40 AM   #12
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Suck it up princess. You should be grateful you even have a deck. Starving children in Africa would not mind some eggs.
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:43 AM   #13
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Quote:
Originally Posted by chid View Post
Flaming bag of dog poo

also, thanks for inviting me for beers after the game! :P
We were discussing starting a new post-game thread tradition, where we select a pub to go to after each home game.

Or, a few us us should buy the former Pointe on 17th, and make our own CP clubhouse (no Oiler or Canuck fans allowed).
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:43 AM   #14
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I'm all about revenge, but confrontation is sometimes even better. Confront him and put him in his place. Makes you feel big, makes him feel small and might make him scared of you.

Remember, what is best in life? To crush your enemies, see them driven before you, and to hear the lamentation of their women.
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:44 AM   #15
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Zed's dead baby, Zed's dead.
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:47 AM   #16
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Call the police on them.

Or I would try catching them in the act then videotaping them and then sue them for vandalism.

Classic Kanye Adolescents. They probably went home and smoked weed while watching porn and drinking MGD while circle jerking. Their parents must be so proud of them. One of the reasons I reluctantly support abortion - if only their parents had this option at the time of drunken conception.
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:50 AM   #17
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go to bass pro outfitters and get skunk scent. pour some on his car.
I knew someone really well in high school who poured this into a locker and cleared out the school. Works awesome.
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:51 AM   #18
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Quote:
Originally Posted by "deep thoughts" by jack handey
a good way to threaten somebody is to light a stick of dynamite. Then you call the guy and hold the burning fuse up to the phone. 'hear that?' you say: That's dynamite, baby.
ftw!
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:51 AM   #19
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Originally Posted by mykalberta View Post
Call the police on them.

Or I would try catching them in the act then videotaping them and then sue them for vandalism.

Classic Kanye Adolescents. They probably went home and smoked weed while watching porn and drinking MGD while circle jerking. Their parents must be so proud of them. One of the reasons I reluctantly support abortion - if only their parents had this option at the time of drunken conception.
Didn't he say they were 35?
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Old 09-16-2009, 10:51 AM   #20
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Wait 'til it's minus 30 and steal his extension cord.
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