Unemployed Butler, Born Kris Kurtis Fernet on Jan 4 1970 in Grand Rapids, Michigan. His parents Francis and Fergie were Canadian citizens, which is why KevanGuy carries a Canadian passport.
KevanGuy is the oldest of seven children. He also has a step-brother from his father's first marriage who has spent considerable time in jail for having sexual relations with a porcupine. KG’s father was a truck driver who died in 1989. KG says his father was a strict disciplinarian who happened to like wearing strapless evening gowns around the house.
KevanGuy appeared on the Canadian version of Who Wants to be a Millionaire but went home empty-handed after failing to answer the first question correctly.
The question was as follows:
“Traditionally what colour means “Go” on a Canadian traffic light?”
A: Yellow
B: Green
C: Red
D: Hotdog
KG chose “D”.
In 1994 KG met his wife Gretchen McGillicuddy during a Dungeons & Dragons convention in Boise Idaho. KG in full costume was running a booth titled “Touch my Dwarf” while Gretchen was dressed as a troll (at least it’s believed to be a costume). The two met while she was handing out BBQ Chicken thighs.
KG and Gretchen do not have any children as KG had his testicles removed in an unfortunate jousting accident as a teenager. They do have 3 dogs named Pavel Smirnov, Niklas Sundblad & Jesper Mattsson.
KG collects Barbie dolls; he finds the dressing and posing of the dolls to be relaxing.
KG has taken what could have been called arguably the greatest CPHL franchise of all time and run it straight into the ground.
The CPHL Boston Bruins history is as follows:
2003 – CPHL Champions
2004 – Lost in the Cup Finals
2005 – CPHL Champions
2006 - 1st round playoff sweep
2007 – Makes GM Noob look like Darryl Sutter and Brian Burke rolled into one.
Stay tuned for the next Biography: looooob – The extra O’s stands for Obstreperous.
CPHL Biography #14 - KevanGuy
