The only thing that stops cats from murdering all of us is the lack of a workable thumb. I know it, you all know it, its a fact.
If a cat could slam a pillow on our face and hold it there it would.
If a cat could #### a pistol and fire it, it would
If a cat could open a bottle of household caustic cleaner and dump it into our dinner it would.
When a cat is curled up in your lap purring, its because its having a dream of tearing your throat out.
When a cat is eyeballing you while its eating its because its having a fantasy that its ripping out your lower intestine and feeding on you while you lie there writhing and screaming in pain.
Make no mistake, Cats are the enemy, they're a couple of steps behind us on the evolutionary ladder, but at night they're working very hard in their hidden cat labs to change that.
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My name is Ozymandias, King of Kings;
Look on my Works, ye Mighty, and despair!
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