If you were happy at your job, but had time to invest into a business, would you buy this business? (or is this just the best escape option right now?).
In terms of mitigating risk/fear/stress:
Would your friend consider some type of a option to purchase arrangement? (say with a six month time frame to manage it first). You could help your friend with the idiot bar manager situation, in the short term, while you figure out whether this is a good career change for you and your wife.
Lastly, have you looked into the lease situation of the business? Seems like one of the best ways to kill a bar/restaurant is to jack the rent or force it to move.
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